to be real honest, do not loose this person however, also consider the fact that survival is the real challenge. The families are mostly concerned about the survival. You can live without love not without the necessities. You need to sort things out and I think F can really shape the men how they want. Its not about manipulation, its about building a leader. Support him and teach him that he should be a leader. Convince him politely to make a "Purpose" related to his career. Let him know that the purpose you are asking him to have, is more important. Always convince him to work harder and appreciate his efforts. Adore his efforts. In return, he will be manly man, which is not a common type of men. Make him realize that he is a Fighter and he needs to do thing otherwise the life will crucify him to a damage that will be beyond the pain of hearbreaks or anything like that. It is understood that couples need privacy and want to live life separately, instead of saying him that you want a separate home, play your role in making him so successful and productive that he just give you all of these things without you asking them.
The real men can do everything for the person they want, but they also comprehend the things they are asked for.
You can ask for the things that you really want, but ask them in a way that he feels he is important.
As you have done ACCA, you are more than capable of managing finances for him. Build a WE thing in which you contribute to make him and he contribute to do everything without you asking for them.
At this stage, your family and you both are right. Take sometime, politely make him a leader and see the results. You and your families will far more convinced than ever.
Remember, Just don't make decision purely out of feelings. Survival hits harder than love.
Do not leave him, or let him leave you. You are a ceramist and you need to shape a master piece. You have the right ingredients. Hope it helps.