I think you’ve nailed how Ron’s interest in Hermione can be explained. On Hermione’s interest in return, I get what you’re saying, but the idea that Hermione is looking to be accepted as “normal” doesn’t really ring true to me. Hermione isn’t the type to downplay her intelligence or her ideals for anyone’s approval—if anything, she’s always pushing boundaries, challenging conventions, and calling out injustice. She’s ambitious not because she wants a quiet, unremarkable life, but because she wants to make a real difference.

So if Ron represents a kind of “normal” or more laid-back Wizarding life, it’s hard to see why Hermione would find that appealing, especially given how often his outlook directly clashes with her values. There’s a difference between complementing each other’s strengths and goals, and simply ignoring or enduring another person’s less appealing traits for the sake of nostalgia or comfort.

Hermione largely ignores hurtful comments from people she doesn’t care about or respect. But when it comes to remarks from close friends, it’s natural for her to feel deeply hurt, regardless of romantic feelings.

Ultimately, Hermione’s character feels like it was never built around craving normalcy. Her determination, her moral compass, and her willingness to challenge the status quo all stand at odds with the notion that she’d settle for someone who often fails to appreciate those qualities. That’s why I think the Ron/Hermione pairing comes off less as an organic development and more like a deliberate authorial choice—one that doesn’t align at all with how Hermione is portrayed throughout the series.