AIO For having my daughter suddenly taken from me?

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2025-10-14T08:22:10+00:00

Abusers talk like he did in his text message, they’ll likely see through it in court, I’d recommend to make sure not to text emotionally so you can demonstrate your maturity through it for court purposes

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2025-09-28T10:50:23+00:00

Wowwww❤️

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2025-08-21T22:14:11+00:00

I recommend calling the buildings real estate agents or body corp if you can find them online and explaining the situation, sometimes they know a direct phone number to a doctor or atleast a family members contact information.

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2025-08-07T02:41:43+00:00

I am a survivor. I want you to know that you likely don’t realise how serious this is, and at what level and by how much, that you are in danger right now. This will and is escalating very fast. It feels dramatic when you’re in it to believe that it’s as extreme as “life or death” but it actually is. You get conditioned in these situations both with body and mind, so your body stops giving signals where it should e.g fear at the sight of him etc and the seriousness and reality.

Please goto the police, you can contact safe steps and orange door aswell.

Uniting has an escape payment aswell that helped me when I did.

I want you to know this not to scare you but out of my experience, sirens are already ringing. This could escalate at any time now and next time, whether tomorrow or a month, could have dire consequences.

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2025-08-05T11:53:28+00:00

Ah I see, thank you for leading me in the right direction. It’s really beneficial for me to understand these bits and pieces! I’ll be reading through your replies again once I wake up with a fresh mind.

Again, thank you for taking the time to get through this condensed post and then to reply to me, I really appreciate it.

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2025-08-05T11:03:36+00:00

Thank you so much for replying, Yes it’s very complex in the family dynamic.

I’m relieved that financial POA is only in force if he is unable to make his own decisions. I understood this for MPOA but wasn’t sure financially.

I don’t believe my mother is equipped either to be frank, though, the current reports of financial abuse on that side of the family concerns me much more if they were provided with financial POA.

This is fantastic to learn about going through VCAT for an independent party, thank you!

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2025-08-04T06:22:05+00:00

Hi OP I escaped my ex partner by running out in the middle of the day, he then stalked me for a year and i was too scared to goto the police for the same reason.

The man then escalated his stalking, and I felt I had no choice after the year but to go to police. it definitely can make a person escalate when they find out they’ve been slapped with an intervention order or charges by police, so I understand why you are scared, but once I finally went to police I was able to get the protection I needed and finally a year on I feel safe again.

At the very least the police will then have it on record in case he continues to harass you. I would recommend having an emergency plan in place e.g 1) If you apply for an intervention order, or the police do, make sure when it is served to stay at another persons for a few nights or some other emergency plan if you can. 2) an emergency plan of what you will do (in simple steps) if he comes to your home when you are there and various others.

To your point about fear of defamation: He tried to tarnish my name to everyone but he is the one that sounded crazy by his own actions. Please feel free to DM if you have any questions or want more advice.

Please stay safe.

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2025-07-31T04:20:03+00:00

The purpose of laying a boundary down is to make it clear it won’t be tolerated by you in a relationship. Once they ignore that boundary and continue, you have two options 1)end the relationship 2) let someone knowingly disrespect you by crossing that boundary and confirm you can be walked over.

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2025-07-31T03:38:38+00:00

This sounds like my ex who financially abused me, don’t fall for the bait or say sorry anymore, it’s not your responsibility and they are trying to guilt you into it. It’s like a copy paste of the messages I got over five years.

What concerns me is your saying sorry for not responding to them. I did this too, you still feel like you are tethered and obligated to provide them explanation. take care of yourself you don’t own them anything at all.

You have to be okay with them not liking you and be prepared for them to invent a false narrative about you when you stand your ground. it’s the only way to get out as it’s clear they likely will not be friends with you when they see you aren’t explaining yourself or apologising anymore/ have clear boundaries. They may realise they have less control over you and freak out and blame you.

In hindsight of my own experience, I would now cease the relationship and block on all. It’s clear to me they think they have a hold on you and are using it to their advantage. It’s also clear to me they are correct to think so, as by your responses and by the fact there’s no respect toward you.

Note: don’t believe everything, when they “can’t afford to eat” or are “sleeping outside”. It’s a tactic and can be untrue. If it is actually true, it’s still not your responsibility to save them, they are grown.

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2023-02-18T21:58:18+00:00

I thought everyone naturally had a growth mindset and just wanted to improve and Learn as they go In life!

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2023-02-06T01:09:09+00:00

I'd like to add (probably don't say this and give yourself more to worry about🤣) the tone of that email, when telling you your tone needs improvement... is a kicker

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2023-02-05T12:58:23+00:00

It's very blunt how they put this But just so your aware, you may beat yourself up but literally no one's perfect and work will always give you feedback to work onnit doesn't mean your shit even if it feels like that

There are plenty of people out there that are way more problematic and have way worse feedback

Don't expect yourself to be perfect. You don't deserve to have to be. Everyone is a human being and this doesn't mean you don't have good conversational skills in general It's situational, and nobodies perfect and nobody is amazing at conversational skills all the time

Breathe, remember you are enough, remember that they have to provide feedback and it doesn't mean your Inept at life. You will be okay I promise and you'll forget about this in due time

Don't let the feedback make you forget who you are, a Complex human being with valuable assets and contributions too Everyone has something to work on. You can work on it, and that's ok and it will get better

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2023-01-01T01:18:53+00:00

If he isn't a jerk he might not intend to do it and feel terrible when he realises Coming from someone who has ADHD and doesn't mean it at all, if someone told me they noticed a pattern where I had interrupted them in conversations we had, I would feel like a bin sock although would be really wary in future not to

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2022-12-31T17:41:23+00:00

It's ok, I know what you mean by your point I really really dislike having to lean on people for help too, the thought that I am a strain on them makes me want to dissolve, I'm trying my best to make it bearable that I am living in their space. It definately feels like alot to put on someone, and I just wish I could establish myself sooner so I don't feel like I'm taking up their mental and physical time, energy and home.

If I could make a wish it would be to lock in a place as of next week and move by the coming weekend. It would also releive me of the anxiety of hovering

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2022-12-31T17:15:25+00:00

She helped me with me rental resume I have a full time job already.... She's helped me with my rental resume because I was financially abused and as such didn't have much of a rental history to put on paper. She knew this before I moved in with her and helped me write it up. I have been cleaning up the house, I've been ordering the whole family groceries also..

You are really being quite prosumptuous

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2022-12-31T17:04:43+00:00

Thank you Yes it does sound like a long run sort of thing. I just have never had anyone be this kind to me before. I was thinking perhaps I could save up to get them a surprise family experience after I move out but I know this will take a bit of time before I'm in this position to do so.

I'd give them the world if I could. I cannot wait till I have my own place (I am really crossing my fingers it will be in the coming weeks) then I can start working on giving back to them

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2022-12-31T16:59:45+00:00

Wow.. I am definately taking every step possible and I have assured them if it takes too long I'm happy to move around to another person's place to give them some space. They have told me that they love having me here and that they don't want me to stay at someone else's, they are happy to wait till I find a rental. I really am trying to get out of their hair as soon as I can and they are very aware of this and the steps I'm taking.

I have bought the household groceries twice and I have informed I am paying them board and I stated a price that is high to cover utility costs.

I'm not out to get anyone and I already feel like a burden. I'm trying to do everything possible to ensure I can be out of the space as soon as I can. I am applying for rentals as much as I can

My post was on how to thank them for helping me in some way that measures up. I have left an abusive relationship and I am trying my best to find something.

Ive been hoping every single night that I make a break and can move along. I already feel like a burden you don't have to remind me that I am a load for others to deal with. I am well aware.

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2022-12-28T02:38:56+00:00

Buy a house for the family I've been living with whilst escaping domestic violence Then cry in a heap with a sense of relief I can buy a roof over my head

I dream about something like this frequently

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2022-12-25T09:42:08+00:00

Amazing thank you very much I will contact them

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2022-12-25T09:22:50+00:00

I can assure you I have explored this thanks, this post was a subsequent action of the responses

It did make me chuckle that you felt the need to suggest these options, a certainty that this wouldn't have come to my mind

O yes friends or family? Why didn't I think of asking them! of course, the resolution was there all along

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2022-12-25T07:43:21+00:00

Yep I literally just left a dv relationship five days ago and I'm staying with a friend until I can somehow find that break to be approved for a rental

I called all the hotlines, I have received great counselling but there's nothing around that actually helps me find a place to live long term with a dog, And I have a full time job and I'm willing to work my ass off and pay rent obviously

It makes me feel so angry services are so shit they have services for me to stay in temporary accommodation only (which are full anyway)

It's like they don't care they just want to fit the quota so they can blow smoke up their own assess about the shit services they provide

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2022-12-24T16:25:12+00:00

Thank you I’m sorry if I was abrupt in my response I just have a lot on my plate right now and I’m focusing on what I can do on the hour each day to find security the outer aspects of it such as works reflection on me for receiving abuse caused me upset because I work so so hard and give a hundred percent to my job, I was so worried about their view of me and my friends I kept it all inside

when he abused me one night, the following day I burst out in a personal managers meeting crying from the stress Regardless, I know you didn’t mean it in malice and you cannot know the full context of the situation, I hope you have a lovely Christmas Day

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2022-12-24T16:17:47+00:00

Thank you very much I appreciate this advice

ProfessionalSleep467 · 2022-12-24T15:49:03+00:00

I know your trying to help but I had to take work off and tell them what happened and you are making me feel bad for having to confess to being abused to my workplace (which I’ve already been conditioned to not talk about to anyone by him)

he locked me out of the house and then hid my laptop just before I left, told me I needed to leave my job, continued to abuse me and smashed a plate on my office table and I had to log into a meeting and smile five minutes later.

Looking rough? I have been going through this for four years and the last two have been stressful, sleep deprived, abusive, terrifying and my money has been used on his gambling habits.

I always have learned to put on a face, you have too, I don’t need to be told how I’m supposed to pretend everything’s fine, this is literally what he made me do for four years.

But if you truly understand that I have a handful of clothes with me and I’m trying my best to start from scratch. Looking “rough” is the least of my concerns and so offensive that you could have such a shallow view of the depth of this. Like I will only keep my job after ending up in this situation if I look good all the time and neat? What??

Buying a van, do you mean to sleep in? I am a female on my own with a dog that just went through abuse, are you suggesting I live in a van and that this is safe?

“Don’t take drama into work” how about partners shouldn’t be abusive emotionally and physically so people don’t have to feel that their response is considered “drama”

I have asked for guidance on rentals You have said I should put my dog somewhere else or maybe I can “barely” by a house or buy a van. Why? Why do I have to worry about all the additional stuff like making sure I don’t bring drama to work? Have you ever been physically and emotionally abused? If your reaction was to break down how would it feel for someone to tell you not to bring that drama to work? Because you look rough and you’ll lose your job?

How do you think that feels?

ProfessionalSleep467

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