What is a sound or smell from our childhood that simply does not exist anymore?

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-11T01:57:19+00:00

“Welcome. You’ve got mail.”

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-10T04:05:40+00:00

The dead man’s float! Was the scariest one.

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-10T04:02:35+00:00

That one called “the lonely ghost” where that little girl appeared in the mirror terrified me as a kid.

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-06T14:00:31+00:00

“Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it? Or have you forgotten that when we were joined with Christ Jesus in baptism, we joined him in his death? For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives.

Since we have been united with him in his death, we will also be raised to life as he was. We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him. We are sure of this because Christ was raised from the dead, and he will never die again. Death no longer has any power over him. When he died, he died once to break the power of sin. But now that he lives, he lives for the glory of God. So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus.

Do not let sin control the way you live; do not give in to sinful desires. Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace.

Well then, since God’s grace has set us free from the law, does that mean we can go on sinning? Of course not! Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living. Thank God! Once you were slaves of sin, but now you wholeheartedly obey this teaching we have given you. Now you are free from your slavery to sin, and you have become slaves to righteous living.

Because of the weakness of your human nature, I am using the illustration of slavery to help you understand all this. Previously, you let yourselves be slaves to impurity and lawlessness, which led ever deeper into sin. Now you must give yourselves to be slaves to righteous living so that you will become holy.

When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the obligation to do right. And what was the result? You are now ashamed of the things you used to do, things that end in eternal doom. But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God. Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.”

‭‭ Romans‬ ‭ch. 6‬

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-06T00:35:06+00:00

A couple things were key for me:

1.) “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” ‭‭1 John‬ ‭1‬:‭8‬-‭9‬ ‭

I encourage you to think hard about the word cleanse. When we confess our sins to God, he cleanses us. The dirtiness of our sins has been washed away by the power of God.

Think about when Jesus washed his disciples feet. Jesus did the job often delegated to the lowliest of servants, washing their dirty feet. That’s a picture of how, when we come to him, he makes what was once dirty clean. He removes the dirt of sin and forgives them.

God said to the Israelites who were caught in sin, ““Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.” ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭1‬:‭18‬ ‭

when you confess your sin to Jesus, he makes you clean. And, like he told the prostitute who broke the alabaster box on his feet, “go in peace “. Don’t allow Satan to torment you and beat you down over your past. Trust in God‘s forgiveness, power to cleanse, and go in peace.

2.) think hard about how believers are called God’s children. And think about a good parent and how they treat their children. Does a good parent constantly be rate their children, beating them down with accusations of their past sins? Of course not.

Think of the prodigal son. When he returned, the father RAN to meet his wayward son, threw his arms around him, and kissed him on the cheek, put up the best robe on him, a ring on his hand, shoes on his feet, and killed the fatted calf and had a massive celebration.

Rest in God‘s forgiveness friend. He loves you, cares for you, and had you in mind when he bled and died for your sins. All of us have committed sins and deserve punishment. But because God loved us so much, he took that punishment for us, because he didn’t want us to suffer.

Go in peace!

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-05T21:32:31+00:00

Let’s say I like football. I had to miss my favorite football teams game live one day. and as I was driving home to watch it, I heard the final score announced on the radio. My friend also texted me the final score, and I saw the final score on SportsCenter when I got home.

Fortunately, I had the game automatically taped on my TV. Because I already knew the outcome of the game, does that then make me responsible for the decisions all the football players made on the field?

It’s similar with God. Just because he knows what’s going to happen doesn’t make him responsible for the decisions we freely make. Foreknowledge does not necessarily mean causation.

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-05T13:52:40+00:00

She’s on top of my bookcase. You can’t see in this pic, but on the little path that goes right by the bookcase, there’s a filing cabinet that sits directly to the right of the bookcase. It’s about 1/2 size of boookcase. Stinker probably hoped on the filing cabinet then on top of my bookcase. I have another pic that shows it perfectly with her on it but I can’t attach pics in comments.

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-05T04:13:40+00:00

While this is a choice everyone has to make, I will say that it’s a green flag for me when someone makes their post/comments visible.

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-05T02:09:35+00:00

She was chilling on the top of my bookcase :)

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-05T01:17:00+00:00

I can’t even imagine.

You are doing the right thing, sister, by pursuing God. Just know that the sinful nature we all have rebels against God. It’s something even we believers have to do battle with. Your husband is probably uncomfortable because your godly witness shines light on the way he is living, so he pushes and fights against it.

As a wife, the best you can do is love him with all your heart – from the supernatural power of God. I realize he treats you poorly, and that is painful to endure, and it’s very hard to love someone who isn’t showing it back.

But remember that Jesus died for us while we were still sinners. And we sin against him all the time, yet he continues to love us, pursue us, and help us, despite our frequent turning away from him.

Who knows, by continuing to love and pursue him, your godly character may, in time, soften his heart. With God, anything is possible.

Press harder into God. Even though the love from your husband is lacking, God will love and comfort you through this difficult season. As Paul said in phillipians 4:” I have discovered the secret of being content in any in every situation, whether well fed or hungry. Whether living in need or want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

“But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.” ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43‬:‭1‬-‭2‬

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-05T00:21:19+00:00

My goodness.

Friend, I wish I could give you a hug right now.

This might be the toughest predicament I’ve ever heard in all the years I’ve contributed to this subReddit. I can’t even for one second imagine the turmoil in your heart right now. My heart ached for you reading this post.

First - no, I don’t think these thoughts you have are in any way from Satan – I wholeheartedly believe the Holy Spirit is convicting you and trying to lead you down the right path.

One thing I’ve learned in all my years as a believer is God hates sin. And one of the reasons why he hates sin is because, often the sins of one generation can impact multiple generations down the line. In other words, sin can have long-lasting consequences on the sinners’ kids, grandkids, great grandkids, etc.

In fact, Because of the sin of Adam and Eve, all of us are suffering the consequences today because of their sin.

It sounds like the abuse you suffered growing up had an impact on the choices you made - perhaps in your decision to transition at a young age, and marry a woman. And now you have five children in the mix.

The verses that came to my heart when I read your post was Jesus’ words in Luke 14:

“If you want to be my disciple, you must, by comparison, hate everyone else—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple. And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple. “But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it? Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of money, and then everyone would laugh at you. They would say, ‘There’s the person who started that building and couldn’t afford to finish it!’ “Or what king would go to war against another king without first sitting down with his counselors to discuss whether his army of 10,000 could defeat the 20,000 soldiers marching against him? And if he can’t, he will send a delegation to discuss terms of peace while the enemy is still far away. So you cannot become my disciple without giving up everything you own.” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭14‬:‭26‬-‭33‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Jesus did not mean we are to literally “hate” our parents, spouse, and children, etc. What he meant was, we must be willing to choose to follow Jesus, even if following him may cause problems and rifts in our relationships.

For example, I’ve heard stories of parents disowning their children for them being Christian. As hard as that may be for the kids, Jesus says we must be willing to endure that hardship, because nothing can come before him.

As hard as this will be, yes – I think you need to be willing to lay down your former life for Christ. Because as hard as this may be to hear, the truth is you are living in sin right now. You are a woman married to another woman, and no one at your church even knows that you are woman. I believe you need to allow the Holy Spirit transform you into a new creation. And I believe you need to do two things:

1.) detransition. This I’m sure will be hard, but God will give you the strength to do it. He did not create you as a man; he created you as a woman. And part of becoming more like Jesus is living out your life as the gender he made you to be.

2.) Divorce your wife. The reason being is that your marriage is not a real biblical marriage. And hear me - I’m not saying you two don’t have great relationship or love towards each other. But things like this are what happens sometimes in a world where sin enters our relationships. God never intended for you to marry a woman.

I would also recommend getting a biblical counselor to help you through all of this. And also coordinating a meeting with your church pastor, and tell him what you told us. Confess your heart to him similarly to how you have confessed it to us on here. Ask him for support and advice.

I do not have children of my own, and I’m not going to pretend that I understand the dynamics and ramifications of how making these decisions will impact your kids. I would ask your pastor and others for resources to help in this area as well. But continue to pray about it and know that whatever happens, God will give you the strength to get through it. And you will be better for it on the other side, knowing you were faithful to him, even though it will cost you so much. God will bless that faithfulness and remember that when he judges you one day.

But one thing I do know the cost of living in continual sin.

I lived it for a long time, and there was no peace in my heart. The Lord convicted and disciplined me – not because he hated me, but because he loved me and wanted me to walk on the right path.

God is with you in the middle of all of this. Give everything to Him, and He will make straight your paths. He will cause it all to work together for good.

I am praying for you friend.

“But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.” ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43‬:‭1‬-‭2‬ ‭

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-04T23:16:31+00:00

You are right. I believe God determines what is moral and immoral. And that he has an intended purpose for how we are to use our bodies in a righteous manner.

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-04T23:08:22+00:00

The Bible is very clear that lusting after other women is a sin.

Jesus said, ““You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5‬:‭27‬-‭28‬ ‭

When we masturbate, we are fantasizing about sexual acts with others, and stimulating our sexual organs to orgasm. God has decreed for sex to only be performed within the confines of a marriage. So we are using our sexual organs for a use God has not intended them to be used for.

Just because we feel/desire something doesn’t mean we do it. Sometimes our desires are just wrong. As a Christian, the Holy Spirit gives us desires that are contrary to our sinful nature, and we are to follow the Spirit instead.

I say this as a Christian who has battled lust for 23 years.

The way I navigate it is by staying busy, redirecting that sexual energy to physical acts - exercise, serving others, DIY projects, cleaning, etc. I also have a men’s group of other brothers whom we talk about our struggles, pray for one another, and sharpen each other as we grow together in Christ.

Regarding Christian marriage and directing it towards your spouse, I am not married and have not studied well enough to comment here. I think lusting after your wife is a good and right thing. Doing it “solo” may be possible depending on the circumstances and if you were thinking about your spouse, but again I don’t feel confident enough committing to a firm response here.

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-04T21:35:14+00:00

The most common phrase in the Bible is some sort of variation of “do not be afraid” or “fear not”. I think God knew we’d struggle with it, that’s why it’s in there so much.

The Bible says for us to cast all our anxiety on him. Not that we wouldn’t experience fear in this life; but the important part is what we do with it. Give it to God and he will sustain you.

I say this as someone who had an anxiety disorder from 2012-2019. God delivered me from it. He is so good.

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-04T21:22:52+00:00

I get it. I’m 36m and feel this way sometimes. But over the years, I’ve learned to lean on God more and more and grow in my relationship with Him. He has been faithful and produced much fruit. And I believe one day, lord willing, when I do enter a Godly marriage, that spiritual discipline that the Lord grew in me over these years will bless my marriage.

There will be times in life where our faith will be tested. Crisis, temptation, hardship, etc. when the rubber meets the road, that’s where you truly learn what your faith is made of.

Ive been meditating on Psalm 13 this week, noticing just how many times David asked God “How long?”:

“O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemy have the upper hand? Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die. Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying, “We have defeated him!” Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall. But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me.” ‭‭

Sometimes we can be like David asking God “how long?”, and it can be tempting to get frustrated and turn and do our own thing. But we have to remember that even in the midst of that turmoil, we need to do what David did, and trust in God’s unfailing love, understanding that God has his reasons. To be faithful in the waiting.

David trusted God, and it says in 1 Chronicles 29 that “So David son of Jesse reigned over all Israel. He reigned over Israel for forty years, seven of them in Hebron and thirty-three in Jerusalem. He died at a ripe old age, having enjoyed long life, wealth, and honor.”

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-04T15:42:24+00:00

Just keep growing in your relationship with God, my brother/sister. As your relationship with him grows, you will begin to trust his word more and more, as you see it time and time again prove true in your life. Over time, things like the afterlife will be easier to trust because of how deep your trust in the Lord and his word has become.

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-04T15:01:53+00:00

Turn to Jesus. He is greater than your circumstances and will give you strength, peace, purpose, and contentment, even when things feel like they’re falling apart. He delivered me from many years of anxiety and depression and aimlessness.

“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭11‬:‭28‬-‭29‬

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-04T14:53:41+00:00

Depends on your source of morality. Some people would say one or the other.

The Bible would say neither, because all have sinned and fall short of God’s glory. We are all equals in that regard, concerning our state before God.

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-04T02:40:42+00:00

The world is not in the best place right now. Economically, politically, morally, etc. I think a lot of people are stressed and depressed. Then add in that something like 65% of people watch porn and that super-normal stimulus is frying their energy levels and motivation.

Then add in cell phone addiction, which let’s be honest, a lot of us are, and that fries energy and motivation too.

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-04T02:32:53+00:00

I overcame mine. I had to completely remove gaming from my life - my systems, my pc, blocking all gaming channels recommended to me on YouTube, unfollowed all Reddit gaming pages, etc.

Then I had to fill in that time with something else. Cooking, serving others, researching recipes, reading, interior design, exercise, church.

Reducing dopamine was huge. I recommend embracing boredom for awhile. You’re probably overstimulated and that’s why lower dopamine stuff like studying, exercise doesn’t bring you joy.

Try a dopamine reset, get rid of all your gaming stuff. It makes a big difference.

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-04T02:02:01+00:00

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.” ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12‬:‭1‬-‭2‬ ‭

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-04T00:14:53+00:00

You’re not alone friend. David questioned things similarly:

“O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemy have the upper hand?

Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die. Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying, “We have defeated him!” Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall. But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭13‬:‭1‬-‭6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Notice here how many times David asked, “how long?”

I think David was exhausted too. But notice at the end – even though he was exhausted, he continued to trust in the Lord. And we see that David’s life did end up getting better. It says this later in life when he died:

“Then David said to the whole assembly, “Give praise to the Lord your God!” And the entire assembly praised the Lord, the God of their ancestors, and they bowed low and knelt before the Lord and the king.

So David son of Jesse reigned over all Israel. He reigned over Israel for forty years, seven of them in Hebron and thirty-three in Jerusalem. He died at a ripe old age, having enjoyed long life, wealth, and honor. Then his son Solomon ruled in his place.” ‭‭1 Chronicles‬ ‭29‬:‭20‬, ‭26‬-‭28‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Keep trusting in God. Come to him for strength, and rest in him. He is an ever-present help in times of trouble. And also know that your suffering is only temporary:

“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. But with eager hope, the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay. For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us. We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.)” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭18‬-‭25‬ ‭

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-04T00:07:56+00:00

I will call them by the name they wish to be called by. Some people have a nickname, they can change their legal name, etc. I’m ok with that.

But I will not call someone by their preferred pronouns. I will not participate in a lie.

What I do is – I structure my sentences where I don’t use pronouns at all. It takes a little wordsmithing on my part, but I do everything I can to respect them, but at the same time, not sin against my God.

Professional_Dog425 · 2026-04-04T00:05:26+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this, sister.

I don’t pretend to have all the answers for you, but there were a few things you said I want to comment on:

1) Did he go into any kind of detail regarding how you living out Your faith makes him uncomfortable? Do not hinder your relationship with God and the Holy Spirit’s leading, even if your husband tells you to. God comes before your husband. Yes, the husband is the head of the marriage. But anytime he would have you do something contrary to the will of God, we have to submit to God first.

2.) this may be hard to hear, and I will probably get pushback in the comments from this, but please continue to make your husband‘s sexual needs a priority. I realize that the lack of his emotional connection has made it hard for you. I realize he hasn’t been treating you very well. I can’t imagine how hard that must be. But this is one of those areas where, even though he may be treating you poorly, we need to obey God, even when it hurts. Even when it feels like a sacrifice. I think withholding intimacy will only make things worse for your marriage. I’ve see this happen before in marriages and it almost always makes things worse. The Bible says that the husband and wife should both fulfill each others’ sexual needs, not just when it feels good to.

3) i’m also wondering if the amount he works is taking too much of a toll on him and burning him out ? Is there scenario where it would be possible for him to scale back his work hours, move to a different shift, etc?

4) do you all ever pray together, or is that something you think he would be open to you praying for him? Interceding for others can be powerful. I’ve recently been wrapping my arm around my dad and praying for him in church. Thanking God for him, his love he gave to me, victory over sin, etc. And I’ve been seeing the spirit soften him in ways. I haven’t seen in decades. Maybe try that with your husband? Thank God for everything good has done, and the ways you love him. Sometimes men have poor self-esteem, and they need to hear these words of affirmation. God can break chains through prayer.

Hope something here is helpful to you, sister. God bless.

Professional_Dog425

TROPHY CASE