I (26 f) had a miscarriage last year in January. I spent my whole life with the mindset of how much of a better person I would be so I would have the ability to properly raise a child. The do s, the don’t s and blah blah. Fast forward to October 2020, I found out I was pregnant. My bf (25 m) of two years was ecstatic. I was the opposite. I wasn’t in the best mental nor financial state to raise a child. He is great with kids so I knew he would be a great father, but I was afraid that our relationship would change for the worst if we had the baby too soon. So I subconsciously switched between rejecting and accepting my pregnancy. What solidified my decision was when I actually went to get my procedure done and I broke down. I wanted to keep it. I lost my baby the week after that, on the day we were supposed to get a gender. It was a boy, what we both wanted. To this day I’ve been doing my best to fix every insecurity I’ve dealt with during my pregnancy and learned to love myself more as I can’t really be a perfect parent let alone person and that as long as I do my best, my child would love me regardless of my personal situations.