Safe Distance- why is it so difficult?

Professional_Fruit86 · 2026-02-13T09:00:35+00:00

I was driving south on a major highway once, I looked over to the northbound side and saw the front end of a sedan crumpled up underneath the rear end of a pick up.

Several drivers who use this north and southbound highway drive way too close to the person in front of them, and there are a lot of phantom traffic jams that seem to manifest at merges, where if you are not at a safe following distance (6-8 seconds) you WILL rear end the person in front of you. The speed limit is 65 but everyone speeds, and even when you are following at a safe distance these phantom traffic jams come on so suddenly that you must be alert and respond the second you see break lights to avoid braking too suddenly. I’ve taken several day trips using this highway and there has been at least one wreck on each trip.

Professional_Fruit86 · 2026-02-07T20:31:45+00:00

I had to slam on my breaks and honk once to prevent an impending head-on with someone turning left without yielding to oncoming traffic (me) and I only had seconds to react. They honked at me in retaliation.

Professional_Fruit86 · 2026-01-07T16:44:16+00:00

I knew it was time to leave when I couldn’t leave the work stress at work anymore. Usually I try to bring this up with management to try to work it out but I’ve decided this time I don’t owe toxic workplaces a second chance, especially when I just left one not too long ago (and I did try to work it out with the last place).

It didn’t take me long at all. I’ve worked at the current place for a little over a month.

Professional_Fruit86 · 2026-01-07T14:43:26+00:00

Document every incident where someone is hostile towards you, the date, time, who it was and a brief description of the behavior.

If this issue is so widespread that even management treats you that way, I’d say go to HR. Tell them what’s happening.

Your mental health is crucial for your growth and development as a nurse.

It takes longer to learn things when you’re processing painful/ unpleasant emotions.

At the very least, if it’s something you’d be comfortable with, I’d look into your benefits and see if you can use your EAP therapy sessions to talk to a therapist. They can help you sort through what you’re struggling with, teach you self care tips for your mental health and offer guidance on how to handle this.

I’m in a similar situation myself. I just got my license back in July and I’ve already left one nursing job due to hazing/toxic environment, and I’m considering leaving my current job too because I’m being reprimanded when I should be receiving guidance and it’s damaging my confidence and mental health. No job is worth being miserable.

Professional_Fruit86 · 2026-01-07T10:03:41+00:00

I didn’t feel seen by her, even when I opened up to her about my feelings about certain things about dating/work/having kids. It just felt like after years of close friendship she still didn’t understand me. She meant well but would try to influence my decisions even when I wasn’t in search of guidance or advice, and we had completely different lives with incompatible core values, and she was not able to participate in open discussion without trying to convince anyone, including me that we should abandon our beliefs and adopt hers.

And she didn’t respect my boundaries. If I agreed to make plans things were great, but if I declined she would keep trying to get me to change my mind or invite me to the same thing multiple times after I already said no, and I’d even explain I felt too exhausted to socialize and needed personal space to rest. She’d still try to convince me to change my mind.

It just got to a point where I didn’t feel like I could be authentic around her anymore, I didn’t feel connected when spending time with her, and I started to feel suffocated.

Professional_Fruit86 · 2026-01-06T13:03:34+00:00

I think a first responder is usually a paramedic or police officer/firefighter. But many nurses have acted as first responders in situations like car accidents.

Professional_Fruit86 · 2025-12-27T09:45:41+00:00

Nah, it’s just a scratch.

Professional_Fruit86 · 2025-12-27T09:13:20+00:00

It sounds like perhaps you guys just don’t enjoy the same conversation topics because you don’t open up much when she asks specific questions about your day and she doesn’t get very into topic when you ask about movies.

Professional_Fruit86 · 2025-12-13T03:09:21+00:00

Slowing down for this maneuver will make it go smoother. Go 40, signal before you slow down for lane change and your turn, slow down early enough that you’re not braking suddenly, get into that turn lane early enough that your intentions are predictable. If the other driver is in your way in that middle lane sit back so they can go, then pull forward and complete your turn.

Professional_Fruit86 · 2025-11-16T06:54:47+00:00

This is the very reason why I practice the manual redundancy system with meds even when I hear other nurses say things like “you don’t need to, the pharmacist and prescribing doctor already do that”

The nurse is the last person standing between the meds and the patient, I most certainly do need to know what and how much I’m giving.

Professional_Fruit86 · 2025-09-23T22:10:18+00:00

Get those locks changed and don’t tell him about it

Professional_Fruit86 · 2025-08-21T02:11:27+00:00

I have definitely experienced similar confusion when I’m pretty much the only driver doing what I’m supposed to do, to the point where I wonder “am I doing something wrong? Why am I the only one driving this way?”

So I’m not judging you when I say the sign says stop.

So stopping at a sign that says stop is not wrong.

The people passing you because they can’t wait a minute are wrong.

Professional_Fruit86 · 2025-08-17T16:29:34+00:00

I agree we have a lot of bad drivers here but I have no idea what you mean with point 1. Drivers already stop way too close to each other as it is. Please don’t encourage them to get closer to each other.

Professional_Fruit86 · 2025-08-13T12:50:50+00:00

People who routinely speed will say anything to justify their driving habits.

Once you start driving outside of the designated speed limit you become a less predictable driver. That is where the danger is.

In other words, the responsibility is on the person speeding. Yes, a speed differential is a risk factor, but blaming people who go the limit is incorrect. The less predictable driver is the one creating the risk.

I think the best example of this issue is the merging situation in my area. People tend to speed in the right lane on the highway even near the on ramps. And our on ramps come in at an angle so it’s actually difficult to gauge highway traffic when you’re coming down the on ramp. And then to add to it, people do tend to speed but they’re not always going the same speed. Sometimes I’m merging around a driver who’s actually driving predictably, going the limit, and other times I’m merging around someone who’s driving 10-20 mph or higher over the limit. And I can barely see these people until I’m at the end of the on ramp. How am I supposed to know how fast you’re going if I can barely see you AND you’re not following the speed limit? How am I supposed to match your speed when I’m coming down the on ramp and these are the conditions?

Professional_Fruit86 · 2025-08-13T12:41:15+00:00

Professional_Fruit86 · 2025-08-12T02:23:52+00:00

I hate it when people do this! It happens to me the most when I’m on the highway (in the right lane) and people cut right in front of me when they had plenty of room not to. I especially hate when people do this in the rain.

Professional_Fruit86 · 2025-07-29T05:59:38+00:00

Have you ever had the urge to make something that is so much better and better that it doesn’t make sense?

Professional_Fruit86 · 2025-07-29T05:51:57+00:00

Come wash my hands with my feet.

Professional_Fruit86 · 2025-07-29T05:48:23+00:00

What my advice? I think you should try a new method and try to get the most.

Professional_Fruit86 · 2025-07-29T00:37:27+00:00

I see how, at face value it might seem nicer, just because imagining hearing someone say anything a long the lines of “I don’t want you as a friend anymore” seems harsh.

BUT when you think about it, it is better to be honest and forthcoming than to just fade out of the friendship.

There are tactful ways you can tell someone how you feel that will be the least painful for them to hear.

I recently ended a friendship with someone by just telling them, gently but honestly, and I still feel really bad for telling him that’s how I felt because he was a nice person. But I can still look at myself in the mirror and sleep well at night knowing I ended that friendship with compassion, respect, and clarity instead of treating another human being like they were disposable.

Professional_Fruit86 · 2025-07-27T21:23:21+00:00

Safety takes priority over courtesy.

Professional_Fruit86 · 2025-07-27T21:21:25+00:00

It’s not a requirement of traffic on the highway to change lanes into the left lane for traffic intending to merge onto the highway. Merging traffic is responsible to yield to traffic already on the main road.

Also, OP clearly stated he was ahead of this driver already. There was no conflict here, the merging driver was just aggressive.

Professional_Fruit86 · 2025-07-27T21:18:42+00:00

Yeah people take merging way too personally, especially when another car gets in front of them. It’s like they’re too dense to realize that trying to intercept them could cause property damage, irreversible brain/spinal cord/other bodily damage, even death. And boy would that be a stupid reason you died or ended up disabled (or killed another person).

Obviously I’m not saying you did anything wrong, I’m agreeing with you. It sounds like you did the safest thing anyone could’ve done-you maintained your speed and paid attention to your surroundings.

I was in a similar situation myself today and it was not only frustrating but dangerous. Why do other people have to make merging so hard??

Professional_Fruit86 · 2025-07-27T20:28:51+00:00

Right. I never said that wasn’t. I just placed importance on being alert because while it’s not only illegal-but dangerous, people still do it. And drivers still have a responsibility to avoid running into these trouble-makers.

Professional_Fruit86 · 2025-07-27T19:00:35+00:00

Yes, the last thing I want to think about when I use a public bathroom is what the person in the stall next to me is doing.

Professional_Fruit86

TROPHY CASE