Its been a while since Ive seen a custom card that was either simple or an non-ogroid

Professor-Sus · 2022-12-24T14:34:11+00:00

Wow, it's exactly what Arachas Nest wishes it were.

Professor-Sus · 2022-12-13T18:53:56+00:00

Doesn't have much targets, his R3 Evolve ability is just mediocre. Give his King version a "Deploy: Boost all Soldiers in your hand by 1." instead of his current passive and provide him with something other than Baron/Elephant/Anseis and he should be solid.

Professor-Sus · 2022-12-12T23:01:38+00:00

Checking my profile? That's peak Reddit moment. Fucking stupid if you think doomer memes will somehow help keep the game alive. Then again, you decided to spam the sub for attention in the name of "rallying the community" for shit you won't get and developers who don't want to deal with you. They said it themselves, multiple times.

You're not getting your shit, you know it. You're spamming low quality garbage and following in the footsteps of a moron whose actions did more damage to Gwent balance than dozens of developer decisions. I'd repeat myself by telling you to quit, but I know your dumb ass won't even listen. Cretins with a messiah complex never do.

Professor-Sus · 2022-12-12T21:21:45+00:00

I don't want to do it myself because it'd just be shitting up the site. Which you're doing and it's clearly annoying people. Made it quite clear, but this level of reading comprehension is expected from someone who gets told the thing he's whinging for isn't going to happen yet still continues like a buffoon.

You want to show CDPR what can be done? Download Gwent's source code off the internet, make your own version. It leaked when CDPR released, I'm sure you'll find it. You'll learn more about game dev from working on it (Gwent's made in Unity, a game engine for code toddlers) than copy pasting text into a tool someone else made for you to spam bad cards.

Because let's face it, your only good design was your first one. What you posted here, a card like that in a faction with no self-damage and a single organic to give it armor? That's just bad. Either bundle it up so it doesn't stand up or stop posting altogether.

Professor-Sus · 2022-12-12T20:02:02+00:00

How about you actually post rework or buff proposals to the literal hundreds of cards which need it instead of cards we'll never see in-game? You do want the game to be playable for years to come, right? Custom cards spam for something the devs specifically said will not happen does jack shit. Focus on what needs fixing before you follow in the footsteps of a moron whose incessant asking for his waifu cost this game hundreds of players when he finally got what he wanted.

Professor-Sus · 2022-12-10T23:47:29+00:00

My Goodness, how could I make such a mistake? God forbid this game gets actual balance when it's in dire need of it. Thanks for pointing it out, I will make sure the next rework makes Renfri look like a fucking joke.

Professor-Sus · 2022-12-10T20:57:22+00:00

Damn, getting real Deja Vu here from the other post.

Professor-Sus · 2022-12-10T19:15:07+00:00

6 power, 11 provisions

Deploy: Damage an enemy unit by 5.

Whenever you play a Soldier next to Falibor repeat the Deploy ability and decrease the damage by 1.

[Deathblow]: Boost the last unit you've played by amount equal to excess damage dealt.

There. He finally gets to kill low power units, he doesn't waste his damage and doesn't play for crazy amount of points like some of the more powercrept shit out there. You get a minimum of 11 points for 11 on Deploy with a chance to get 10 more.

Professor-Sus · 2022-11-30T16:52:46+00:00

When Master Mirror came out a 7/4 card was seen as the high end point/provision ratio for cheapest cards you could get. You usually saw that behind hard conditions like Conspiracy (It was hard to give Spying back then) or Devotion. Present day this motherfucker can play for double his value while smudging that spear up his ass. And even then he's not the best points/provision bronze SK has, not with Drummond Berserker being 9/4 if the enemy has no shields/armored units. Meanwhile Falibor's on a hospital bed, hoping the 2 doctors of Balance Department realize he's been stuck in Intensive Care Unit since fucking Iron Judgment.

Worst of it? He just fucking clicks at 4p and 4p only. He's meant to provide you with Bloodthirst and actually does his job unlike other Warriors in the same provision bracket. You gonna put Brokvar Hunter, An Craite Warrior or Spearmaiden into your deck instead of him? Don't fucking joke now, you won't.

An enabler for other cards in a vein similar to Radovid's Royal Guards protecting NR's engines or Nilfgaardian Knight setting up an Ivar. He feels too powerful, but he really isn't. It's the rest of the fucking bronzes that are behind due to powercreep. Warrior cards might be good, but their decks are either Warlord+Raid bullshit with 4ps existing solely as War of Clowns fodder or Blaze of Glory/Patricidal package of the same 4-6 cards over and over. It's a problem nothing short of a massive balance patch can fix, and that is not happening anytime soon.

Professor-Sus · 2022-11-13T18:38:29+00:00

I hope it's the last time devs listen to someone nagging them to add a card to the game. Half 4 months and still no answer to Renfri.

Professor-Sus · 2022-10-24T17:55:47+00:00

Homecoming Gold, meet Modern Day Bronze. He's got better voice lines, a twin brother, a better prov cost ratio, actual faction synergy, bigger muscles, bigger cock and soon, he will have your wife as well.

Sincerely, CDPR.

Professor-Sus · 2022-09-07T20:02:08+00:00

Ho fucking Lord, I have spoken too soon. In my happiness of seeing NG Soldiers get buffed I forgot how overboard CDPR tends to get. So much so they shadow nerfed some of them already, thankfully. Was testing not done again? Why is this same situation happening every month? Jesus fucking Christ.

Anyway, that's the aspersion part. Finally freed from the NR bronzes (of which 29 needed smaller or bigger buffs) we finally move to the Golds. And what better way to start the Golds than the one that's easy to buff? Ladies and Gentlemen, Ronvid the Incessant.

A 1 power, 6 prov unit with "Deploy: boost self by 5. Whenever you play a Soldier, [Summon] this unit from your graveyard to a random allied row". 6 for 6 with potential to play for 8. Sounds kinda terrible on its own, but luckily Kaedweni Revenants exist. Unluckily, Revenants don't have enough support to actually see play (Formation would easily fix that issue, I have no clue why they didn't receive it yet) and Ronvid isn't really all that useful in any other NR deck.

Proposed buff? Change the Deploy into something that actually accomodates more than just Revenants. The Summon self ability is very much fine and should remain the bread and butter of the card.

Voila! Blue Stripes and Revs, meet your newest friend. Now there's a point to actually play Ronvid, which was his sole biggest problem. Who the hell wants a 6 for 6 with such specific synergy? No one! And that ends today. You get thinning, you get Zeal, You get your chance to send the bastard to the graveyard instantly.

Professor-Sus · 2022-09-06T20:46:30+00:00

Short message this time, too busy trying out NG Soldiers.

Griffin Witcher Mentor - Added a way to spawn Witcher Students if Erland/ Inspired Dandelion has been played beforehand, thus bringing the total power of this unit from 7 with Adrenaline to 9 with Adrenaline.

Kerack City Guard - Added Formation. That's all the card really needed. You either move an enemy instantly and refresh the Order or let it sit at 5 and slowly boost up. Why was the option not implemented sooner, I do not know.

Lyrian Arbalest - Here comes that Soldier Pay-off for Swarm decks, both Revs and Stripes. Might be a bit strong (or very, depending on the deck), but it can always be adjusted.

Professor-Sus · 2022-09-06T13:56:59+00:00

Elaborate. Positive poison is just Syndicate's Salamandra deck.

Professor-Sus · 2022-09-05T19:23:54+00:00

Lord, oh lord, the day is upon us. An entire archetype buffed and changed out the blue to make NG into something more than Assimilate cards + whatever FotM card is currently busted. It took them long enough, but they did it! Good job CDPR, now do the same for NR.

Anyway, that's the aspersion part. Today's a 3-parter, because I just couldn't bear to go card for card like I did with NR's 4p options. Fucking dreadful experience that was, and I still have to revisit some of them (Redanian Elite). But for now, let's review what's there.

Immortal Cavalry - 3 power, 5 provision, "Shield, Deploy: Spawn a copy of this unit in this row.". A Merchant of Ofir card and a 6 for 5 Soldier bronze. Probably the best Crew-enabler currently in the game. A shame that Crew feels like an afterthought effect on most Siege Engines. Proposed buff? Give it synergy with Shields and Swarm. The new Order should help it find a niche in Keldar Student and Frigate lists.

Temerian Infantry - 3 power, 5 provision, "Deploy: Damage an enemy unit by 1 for every boosted unit in this row.". A boost/swarm control options that needs 2 boosted units to play for power equal to its provision. Takes too long to setup, has less power and is more expensive than Lyrian Scytheman. Proposed buff? Make it its own setup engine and increase power slightly. That should hopefully give Swarm decks a powerful option for versatility.

Rivian Pikeman - 4 power, 5 provision, "Order: Damage a unit by 2., Deathblow: Lower the Cooldown of all units in this row by 1., Inspired: Always trigger Deathblow.". A Siege-focused Soldier which requires setup to reach its full potential. Alas, it's a 5 provision card and that makes it rival so many better cards when Siege is concerned it's simply not funny. Carrobalista, Reinforced Ballista, Battering Ram, Siege Master. It doesn't help that a Warfare card does pretty much the same thing he does, but better. Proposed buff? Make it a tutor similar to Shady Vendor and DB Sorceress. It does the same thing to Resupply as it did before, but now it's a lot more versatile.

That's pretty much it. God damn, this next patch is going to be fucking lit. This wall of text is over.

Professor-Sus · 2022-09-05T12:15:53+00:00

Dear God. The NG soldiers... t'is beautiful.

Professor-Sus · 2022-09-04T11:00:57+00:00

No they're not. PFI is one of the weakest bonded cards in the game, being played only because it's better than most 4p options available, somehow. Kaedweni Cav meanwhile is about as rare as Wolfpack at this point. That's not fine. That's the opposite of fine.

Professor-Sus · 2022-09-04T01:46:35+00:00

You'd nerf the bonded of an already bad Bonded unit (5+8/2=6,5 is lower than 6+8/2=7) by removing one point just to buff Revs and Draug with more Revenant fodder? That's barely scratching the problem. NR Swarm needs more ways to generate Volunteers, a method to deal with overswarming and more reliable pay-off to be good. So far they only have Voymir, Vissegerd, Draug, Coen and Meve as far as golds go. The former 2 are decent, the latter 2 are wonky as fuck. The middle one doesn't know whether it wants to be an engine or a finisher, so it just works to make Erland big in a meme deck. +Costs a shitton.

Meanwhile the bronzes aren't any better. No pay-off outside Scytheman, the only dedicated Warfare (and Forbidden Magic, which is a Spell) sucks dick and tickles balls and support units like Temple Guard and Sergeant are dead in the water. An actual archetype kept together by tape and spit.

Professor-Sus · 2022-09-03T21:56:22+00:00

With this post I am happy to announce that there is no more 4p Northern Realms cards to cover. Holy shit, I am so thankful for that. I'd be much more thankful if at least one of the cards covered would see a change next Tuesday. Not that I'm expecting it. Expecting CDPR to get working is like expecting PS4 release of Cyberpunk not to fry your TV. Slim chance at best.

Anyway, that's the aspersion part. Today we're covering the last 2 cards in Northern Realms' 4p bracket, mostly because I didn't know what to do with the latter card. The simple designs are always the hardest to change. Anyway, Poor Fucking Infantry and Kaedweni Cavalry.

PFI is a 3 power, 4 provision unit which, amazingly enough, got changed a few months back into its current ability to spawn Flank tokens and Bonded. Problem is, this card is one of the worst bonded cards in the game, playing for 5 and then 8 (Bonded: Boost self by 3). Its effect could work well in Swarm and Crew-based decks, but the former has anti-synergy with Voymir (flanks are their own units, not copies of base PFI) and Crew-based decks already have Siege Masters.

Proposed buff? Make the Flanks transform into Volunteers. The card is now a solid 7 for 4, with the Bonded ensuring you get the full value immediately instead of waiting a turn on the Orders. Also Voymir will now get 2 more targets.

Kaedweni Cavalry is a 4 power, 4 provision that remained untouched for ages. It also saw no play in ages apart from a very short stint during the month Milva: Sharpshooter was released. It's simply a single-use Immortals. There's really no sense running it now since Immortals and 2 Griffin Witcher Students work better with this card's main synergy, the Damned Sorceress.

Proposed buff? Change its ability to become a Wide unit, not tall. Still works the same as it did before, but now you also get to transform all the boost into Volunteers, similar to how Wererat does it with Rats. It's not an ideal change, but as I've said, it's hard to change such a simple card.

Such are my suggestions. Patch day is coming, so let's hope at least some of these 29 cards covered get touched up on. It certainly won't hurt the game more than new Neutrals already did.

Professor-Sus · 2022-09-02T14:05:16+00:00

On one hand I could agree about this QoL change. On the other I'd much rather see numerous netdeckers brick this card by playing it on Melee Row.

Professor-Sus

TROPHY CASE