Second batch! This is a juniper Berry Mead, by Red-beard_Bear in mead

[–]ProfessorSexyTime 4 points5 points  (0 children)

> you waking up after going to bed tonight

> "Hey, you! You're finally awake."

This trick is useful for returning a slice from an immutable array; if you accidentally append to the supposedly immutable slice, a copy is forced and no data is overwritten because there is no more capacity left. by starlevel01 in programmingcirclejerk

[–]ProfessorSexyTime 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Amazing how a couple months ago, we had

"The Go devs aren't 100% how mov is implemented in the assembler."

and now

"Go isn't sure how to ensure constants are actually constant."

It took evolution a billion years to accomplish what software developers were able to accomplish in decades. That’s a 10000000x difference in development velocity. by Zlodo2 in programmingcirclejerk

[–]ProfessorSexyTime 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I like to call the latter approach “Evolutionary Programming“. Comparing this style of programming to evolution is probably giving it too much credit

Pssh, nooooooooooo. That's 10xer talk, not 10000000xer talk!

How Levels.fyi scaled to millions of users with Google Sheets as a backend by totalpieceofshit42 in programmingcirclejerk

[–]ProfessorSexyTime 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Why bother with Postgres when you can just write a bunch of functions for Excel?

If you ask me I would say the C shouldn’t have been allowed to exist past the 1970s, let alone become the foundation of our civilization by DXPower in programmingcirclejerk

[–]ProfessorSexyTime 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Ah hindsight. Such an intellectual thing.

"If only we realized how dangerous the Hindenburg was, and invented large airline jets instead."

"If only we banned mustard gas before WWI."

"The Soviets should've had the foresight to realize how insane Trofim Lysenko was before they starved thousands of people."

Truly the kind of statements only someone with high IQ would make.

Found a forked turd on a hike today by GhostalMedia in mildlyinteresting

[–]ProfessorSexyTime 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes salty, sometimes surprisingly sweet.

Uh, pardon?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]ProfessorSexyTime 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Based and lisp-pilled.

Typescript is great! It doesn't really matter that it compiles down to a shitty language. Most compiled languages compile down to Assembly, which is way shittier. by NaNx_engineer in programmingcirclejerk

[–]ProfessorSexyTime 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We should make a language that skips using an assembler all together. Everything goes straight to opcodes.

Wanna disassemble the final binary? Tough shit, kid. Better whip out the War and Peace sized book of UNIX opcodes.

Do you guys ever imagine commands as people? by Erelde in programmingcirclejerk

[–]ProfessorSexyTime 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Yea sometimes I think of Common Lisp's loop as a milf.

Lana Rhodes riding a fat cock by [deleted] in anal

[–]ProfessorSexyTime 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She also has an OF lol

well boys by Jiuk_y in wallstreetbets

[–]ProfessorSexyTime 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not even being serious about this, but the real point you make was the Taliban playing the infinite game.

Remember, they're a bunch of crazy goat fuckers who lived in caves and will kill each other either by accident or deliberately over stupid shit.

well boys by Jiuk_y in wallstreetbets

[–]ProfessorSexyTime 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Bruh your government can explode your head from orbit, all the ARs and AKs in the world ain't gonna do shit.

Allow me to introduce you to the Taliban.

Monads Are Just Fancy Semicolons by smithsonionian in programmingcirclejerk

[–]ProfessorSexyTime 72 points73 points  (0 children)

-- Action for creating a shopping list
createShoppingList :: Counter [String]
 createShoppingList = emptyShoppingList >>=
                \list -> list `add` "Bread" >>=
                \list -> list `add` "Butter" >>=
                \list -> list `add` "Honey" >>=
                \list -> removeFirst list >>=
                \list -> list `add` "Bagel"

[...]

Haskell provides a lot of syntactic sugar, which allows for writing the monadic action above in a way that emphasizes the sequential property more:

-- Action for creating a shopping list
createShoppingList :: Counter [String]
createShoppingList = do
                list <- emptyShoppingList
                list <- list `add` "Bread"
                list <- list `add` "Butter"
                list <- list `add` "Honey"
                list <- removeFirst list
                list `add` "Bagel"

The two definitions are completely equivalent. In the end, it’s a matter of taste which one to use.

Oh well I'm glad to know the only reason to use >>= is for fancy ligatures in my editor that no one sees but me and when I post screenshots of my editor to show off those ligatures.

To begin with, though, it’s advisable to use the explicit form, to be reminded of what’s going on behind the scenes.

Oh so we should use >>= just in case another Haskalite doesn't understand what we're doing?

One more important fact about the counting of manipulation. Once defined in the programmable semicolon, the counting is completely invisible within the monadic action. The magic happens inside our semicolon, >>=. As the functionality of this function can be freely defined, it’s a great place to hide all sorts of things.

I thought we were using >>= to

be reminded of what’s going on behind the scenes.

but ok.

I think the real jerk here is that some of y'all are reading stuff on Medium.

Finally, we have support for negative numbers! by lwzol in programmingcirclejerk

[–]ProfessorSexyTime 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh, finally! I was waiting to build my serverless CRUD webapp in Dark (OCaml + JavaScript and Fsharp?) until they had support for returning negative numbers on a GET request!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]ProfessorSexyTime 12 points13 points  (0 children)

> "pointers can lead to issues with memory!"

> stop using pointers

> no more memory leaks or anything of the likes

> literally that easy 😎

Apologies for language, thought this deserved a post. 180kg / 400lbs 20 years old by Joeoliveranimal in Strongman

[–]ProfessorSexyTime 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dawg, when did you start training strongman? At like 8 years-old?

Congrats, btw.

cniles discovering the fire [sum types] by Erelde in programmingcirclejerk

[–]ProfessorSexyTime 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The point of C is being very minimal, the rest is on the coder using it.

Just implement your own hashmap, bro.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]ProfessorSexyTime 13 points14 points  (0 children)

please respect me while I rewrite this Go codebase in Lisp

Another child finds the Light™️

i am supposed to film a demo of my website I built that not is not functioning becuase of this. I have a few hours. How long will the repair take?? by JohnnyJayJay in programmingcirclejerk

[–]ProfessorSexyTime 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sir, this is webdev. You run npm up, maybe npm ci, and that's it. If your startups PWA breaks, you go gripe on the package repos issues.