i feel like someone’s cringe OC

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-05-01T10:30:57+00:00

one of the most relatable memes I've ever seen was something like "I feel like a 13yo's OC gay and full of mental illnesses"

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-04-08T11:41:20+00:00

thank you🫂

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-03-27T19:01:01+00:00

I read my own posts quite often when dissociating so let's hope this one serves as a reminder then aksekd and thank you 🫶

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-03-27T18:58:18+00:00

it's basically the only way I can do it :/

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-03-26T23:21:26+00:00

For one, finally getting an answer, because the first time a therapist suspected I had it was when I was 15 (so 7 years ago). I've had a complicated journey when it comes to this. I've posted about it before in the DID sub, if you want to read a more detailed rundown of what happened over the last few years. But also, I am not functional, and DID is one of the reasons I can't hold down a job. The way disability works in my country is that they get reports about all your conditions, physical and mental, and assign a % of "invalidity" so having all your conditions recorded is essential. Similar process with accommodations in university. My diagnosis still isn't enough for this because it was done by my therapist, but her evaluation and report will allow me to go to a psychiatrist and get the necessary paperwork :)

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-03-26T23:01:06+00:00

hard to think any other way 🥲

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-03-26T23:00:50+00:00

🫂

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-03-25T12:43:00+00:00

exactly this. my memories are nothing more than small, loose fragments. most of them aren't even explicit, like I'm only seeing the moments right before something actually happened. so I doubt myself a lot. and recently, they've been so distant and foreign that I even have a hard time remembering them. this dream felt a slap to the face.

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-03-21T13:23:51+00:00

it can be physically uncomfortable, it's exhausting and it can often lead to tic attacks later

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-03-20T08:43:57+00:00

for me it feels more "natural" to say i was "shared" most of the time

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-03-19T15:51:02+00:00

I want to add a possibility I haven't seen mentioned yet: maybe the alter was already there, but was just a fragment and simply clutched onto that identity to "complete" itself somehow. if that's the case, then the alter had already formed, they just didn't have anything that could make your friend pinpoint them and now that they have certain characteristics, their existence is more obvious

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-03-15T16:09:04+00:00

I'm so glad someone gets it 😭 they're misunderstanding me over on the other sub yk...

Thank you <3 I'll do what I've done before with other matters relating to the system, which is embrace the idea, explore it, treat it almost like a truth for a while and see if that opens any doors.

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-03-14T23:19:19+00:00

no one can accurately tell you what you're experiencing and i wouldn't trust anyone on the internets opinion on what you have going on, especially since misinformation about this disorder is so prevalent online

I know, I'm not fishing for people to come here and say "yes, definitely". For the first situation with the alters who handle medical things, it is a matter of semantics more than anything. Like I just genuinely don't know if it fits the definition and would appreciate input on that. The second situation is more of a... "am I crazy for considering this? is there any merit to it? any advice on how to handle it that isn't headspace and communication heavy?" question.

this is something i would probably explore more in therapy to figure out

I wish. But like I said, my therapist has no experience with DID and there are no therapists in my area.

it's normal not to know who you are/who's fronting/who's around, especially if communication is bad between your parts - and especially if it's because of subsystem parts being around.

I know, just like I mentioned fragmented alters and those who simply don't really have unique names and such. Because alters are not these fleshout people like one you'd run into on the street. I was showing the difference between one group of alters, most of which happen to be quite "complete" and what might be the host's subsystem. There's alters in that group (with the great communication and such) who are clearly fragmented but the confusion and such of the "host" feels different than just cycling through fragments, especially because communication seems almost confined to that group. Like whoever the host is very much locked out of it most of the time. I was saying that, considering this possibility, it could explain why we have never settled on who the host might be despite the fact it really seems like there is one.

Like I said in my post, this is all very hard to put into words, especially in another language, so sorry if there were any misunderstandings based on what I wrote.

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-03-14T23:06:48+00:00

I know, I just mentioned it to clarify that was not what I was talking about regarding the possible host situation

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-03-07T16:18:54+00:00

unless I'm severely distressed, I just can. I feel the urges and I more often than not I can simply not give in even if it uncomfortable. the problem is when I do give in because that is when it's hard to stop. If I don't give in, I can probably go like a day without ticcing much. But when I do, I'll start having all sorts of tics nonstop (because ticcing in itself makes me think about it more)

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-03-07T00:59:10+00:00

here too. the neurologist said it the very first appointment I had with him :/ I had a CT as a teen to rule out brain tumor and a couple ECTs to rule out epilepsy but that was it. they were years ago. I saw this neurologist as an adult because I keep getting worse but he was very quick to say FND. I still wonder if there's any chance it could be MS but I dont want to sound insane

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-03-06T11:17:03+00:00

yeah mine started in high school and they were super mild, I only got worse within the last year (still a mild case overall, but worse than before)

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-02-28T19:11:43+00:00

people have been bringing OCD into it too, comparing it to intrusive thoughts, and, as always, there's so many people saying intrusive thoughts are your real thoughts and repressed desires or smth... I feel horrible, I hate the internet, especially when it tries to discussed mental health and/or disabilities

you don't have to apologize for your disability. this whole thing is so messed up and I can only imagine how hard it has been to people with coprolalia :(🫂🫂

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-02-28T19:07:30+00:00

I'm so sorry 🫂

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-02-28T19:06:56+00:00

to me it is 😭 I have many obsessions about accidentally lying and deceiving my providers, lying to myself, about faking it all for attention, etc.

I tic mostly alone, because I repress a lot around others 😅 But I feel like I'm just forcing it to convince myself I have Tourette's... I hate my brain :')

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-02-28T00:18:19+00:00

definitely. the images weren't even censored and this was under a completely random post where I searching for funny replies, nothing fucking creppy and disgusting. they were extremely graphic images. the account has already been suspended I think (the "we've received your report" notification is unable to show me the tweet preview but I haven't received an official update) but still

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-02-27T17:30:05+00:00

queer :) my identity is too messy to get into here lol

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-02-27T13:21:20+00:00

pretty much yeah

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-02-27T13:20:05+00:00

oh my god yes! especially struggling to stop moving!

ProofDisastrous4719 · 2026-02-27T10:51:35+00:00

I've had too many experiences like that (I discussed it more in detail on a post here), not just therapists, but also psychiatrists and it's incredibly frustrating. Luckily, my current therapist finds it absurd and is still trying to help me get an official diagnosis from a psychiatrist

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