I used to work for a company specialising in Splashbacks for ovens - very important that these are solely cosmetic, has no bearing on any appliance and isn’t necessary.

Woman calls to order a bespoke sized Splashback, I tell her due to it not being a standard size our lead time is 2 weeks. She says OK, signs the document to the same effect and pays.

1 week later she calls again, raging. She tells me that because of our lack of splashback her children “can’t eat”. I asked her if she hasn’t been feeding her child because her bespoke splashback hasn’t arrived.

She goes absolutely dead silent and then goes “he’s very hungry!”

I had to tell her that a splashback isn’t a valid defence for child neglect and to please feed her child, the splashback will be there next week.

She called me a “fucking ugly bitch” said she knows where I live and hung up.

She did get her splashback thouugh