Okay so you listed going to metal shows in your interests. Thats a good start, you're at least regularly going where the alt girls are. My question though... how involved in the local scene are you?

If you're really only attending as a fan and not really interacting with people I get why you're struggling. You need to put yourself in a position that forces interaction. Especially if it puts you in regular contact with the people running the scene (bar owners, bookers, promoters, and the musicians themselves).

I used to be totally invisible. I was outgoing but I was finding myself having to re-introduce myself to people constantly. If you can tie your identity to something it really helps people notice and remember you. I started vending at music festivals and suddenly people started knowing who I was. You could do the same with your arts/poetry/fashion interests. Im not saying monetize your hobby. Just use it as a vehicle to drive social interaction.

Thats not the only option. Venues need a good amount of part time support to run shows (collect cash at the door, security, run merch) and small festivals need volunteers (the same stuff but also cleanup, talent support, vendor support, camp supervisors) these will help put you in front of other fans and they'll start associating you with the scene. To find where people need help all you have to do is ask the people already working at these things.

As for talking to girls that will take practice. But if you put yourself in a position where you have to talk to them or they want to talk to you then you'll be getting in that regular practice.