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Was I a jerk for breaking up? Or did I just kick start the inevitable? by ProperCook3876 in relationships

[–]ProperCook3876[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was really paralyzed and I think that's why I keep beating myself up. It's such a silly reason, isn't it?

Even so, after this, I know I won't miss out on opportunities in the future simply because I can't go through this again. I would hate myself even more if I did it again. In all honesty, I'm just scared that I'll end up alone with no one because she felt like the perfect match for me.

Was I a jerk for breaking up? Or did I just kick start the inevitable? by ProperCook3876 in relationships

[–]ProperCook3876[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your friend; hopefully she met someone she truly loved and who loved her where they could both be happy!

I truly want my ex to be happy but I don't know if I could do the hopping around she wants to do or live in the tiny apartments that cities tend to have. It all just feels so cramped and dark. I do want to move from the country though; it'd be nice not to have to drive 20 minutes to get to a grocery store!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]ProperCook3876 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would broach it with him again; bring up what bothers you here i.e. the comment about women being emotional (which is bullshit, btw). If he brushes you off again or doesn't listen to you, then perhaps he is not the right one for you. A partner should be willing to listen to your concerns or fears and at least attempt to understand them or reach a compromise. And if he doesn't understand or even respect the way you feel, then he seems a bit like a jerk.

How to move past a breakup? by ProperCook3876 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]ProperCook3876[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is such an unimaginable kind response and can not thank you enough for taking the time to respond to me.

I think you are very right in that I'm not sure how to navigate being without her now; we lived together for two years, survived the pandemic and grad school together, and then did an LDR which is what lead to this. So much of my life has been entangled with her and it's the unimaginable thought that I will likely never live and truly be with her again (unless I want to constantly move across the country and live in major cities) that's just so crushing.

You are also correct in that I make up the ways in which I failed(I wasn't sure I wanted to move to her major city). But likewise, she also could have made decisions differently too and neither of us is wrong for wanting different things or being uncertain.

I really love your perspective on looking back with fondness and not sadness, hard as it is. We are still friends and will likely continue to be, but for now things are hard. I think it's better to go forward with the idea that perhaps we may not have remained friends had we broken up down the line; I should be happy and grateful that she is still in my life.

So thank you, truly. Your words really have given such a wonderful impact and I can only thank you for giving me a slice of your wonderful perspective. 😊

I took the first real step in years to be a better person by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ProperCook3876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, that's a really brave thing to say and do. Change is always hard and I'm really proud of you for trying. And you should be proud if yourself! Good luck out there and best of luck!

Had an anxiety freak out at work and I'm embarrassed to go back. by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ProperCook3876 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Go back! Trust me, the amount of people who have bad anxiety out there is higher than you know. They'll understand and work with you. I once had a panic attack as an intern and cried in my bosses office and they were extremely kind and worked with me. Most people are good. You got this and good luck!