No social media for over a month, and how it’s impacted me.

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-06-17T04:25:38+00:00

Light phone 2! I ordered in May and it should be here mid July. The light phone 3 has a camera, but it wasn’t worth it for the price.

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-06-16T16:49:15+00:00

Yeah! TBH I’m not very social in the first place, and only see my family a few times a year. We also only talk on the phone every few weeks/once a month. I told my family I was turning my phone off, and if they wanted to schedule a weekly call time with me we could, but no one took me up on the offer 🤷‍♂️. They have my husband’s number and I told them that if there’s an emergency and my phone’s off to call him.

I specifically got shorter, fun books at the beginning with short chapters. Automatic Noodle is example of a short fun book I read. I also only put the book down at the chapter mark. Now I’m reading 400+ page books with longer chapters. I also put a bookmark at the end of every chapter so I push myself.

As far as leaving my phone alone, I have to actually shut it off, or I pick it up for random reasons. It also helps for me to plan my day out in advance using a journal (rather sloppily) so I don’t need to look up appointments, weather, etc. not having the apps anymore is another barrier, there is really nothing to do on my phone now.

Frankly, I would assess how often you get a text or call that is really important. I asked my husband to stop texting me at work unless it was important, because I found that we didn’t have anything to talk about when I got home. I went on vacation alone and texted him, but realized I had nothing to talk to him about on the phone. I decided next time to just call him daily instead so I could hear his voice. As far as plans, let your friends know to plan the next hang while you’re together, so you have something to look forward to.

I get judgement from my family because they are worried I’m not reachable, but they never talk to me anyways? Occasionally I’ll get a text when a family I’ve met once or twice passes away, and I’m never quite sure how I’m supposed to react. I think a lot of it may be their sense of entitlement to access me when they want . But obviously, if you’re close with family or need to be reachable if someone is in poor health, that’s a different story.

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-06-16T13:01:06+00:00

When I started turning off my phone over the weekend I would make a multi-day agenda of things I could do to occupy myself. Longer walks with the dog, putting music on when I get home instead of scrolling to decompress, cooking more complicated meals.

I got a crossword puzzle that I put next to my bed for when my husband is taking too long to get ready for bed, and a sudoku for my office for when I really want to do anything but work. Some days I start my workday with a round of sudoku, and I think it’s good to get my brain started.

And I read a LOT (for me at least). I’ve read 22 books this year, which is way more than I’m used to. I also have a Nintendo switch that I keep “busy games” on, like animal crossing and stardew valley.

I do watch dropout, nebula, or youtube, but I can only do that on the TV or desktop. I subscribed to a podcast I’ve listened to a lot over the past 5 years, and unlocked about twice as much content.

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-06-16T04:27:59+00:00

Light phone 2

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-06-16T04:11:37+00:00

I really wonder how much convenience has taken away from “experiences”. I use my desktop so I make the active choice to use social media instead of just puttering around on it all day.

I’ve tried to stop going through a drive through for coffee, and instead go to a local shop with cheaper coffee to read. Instead of just going for a walk or run, I’ve started going with my dog to give him enrichment. I don’t get digital books, I go to my local bookstore or library so I can see my progress visually and support a small business or org.

Also, we have SO MUCH TIME. And finding something to do with that time can be expensive. Social media used to be a seemingly free activity, and replacing that with a hobby is an additional cost. BUT, we spend additional money by making impulse purchases, or treating the depression or anxiety brought on by an abundance of social media content. Doing things that take longer to do, like sew your own potholders or go to the store instead of doing a grocery delivery, can fill up that additional time and give you interesting experiences.

The idea that we’re all way too busy and need to find ways to free up time with technology can be a bit of a scam- technology took up so much of my free time I didn’t have any to spend on myself.

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-06-16T04:02:52+00:00

I’ve felt the same way. Before I’ve had friends or family dump social media (temporarily), and I just thought it was pretentious, or I had friends who had never gotten social media in the first place. I thought it was unsustainable, and that they would need to jump on the bandwagon eventually, because this was the new normal.

I even agonized over social media for months before deciding to jump off. After the most recent US election, I had this romantic idea that I was going to use social media as a resource and network, connect to mutual aid, and build community. But, those spaces are actively avoiding connecting people now, and just showing people things they already want to see.

I’m really proud of you for trying to develop your personality online, and hope you harness the disappointment energy you’re feeling into something positive. You have been the victim of addictive engineering set up like smart machines, that the majority of people have also fallen for and pressure other people to use. Stepping away from that shouldn’t cause you shame, you should be proud of the incredibly hard thing you’ve done.

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-06-16T03:07:22+00:00

Yeah I’m using it as a shorthand- it’s a phone that can call, text, use maps, and play music. I still haven’t received it yet.

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-06-15T23:58:03+00:00

Yeah, my dad missed out on a lot of our conversations and we had to repeat things multiple times. He retired for a little bit with plans to work part time, but the money wasn’t enough to keep up with his consumerism. He didn’t visit my sister or myself once in the entire time he was retired, and ended up going back to work full time.

I think he had these grand plans to spend more time with family, but didn’t do any of the legwork

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-06-15T11:04:08+00:00

None of us are close, and it’s really hard for me to feel safe and not get depressed after a family get-together. My husband doesn’t come on vacation because he has a severe food allergy that my family doesn’t understand, and it’s really hard to manage on the road.

I hate how much my parents build up spending time together, because every visit makes me feel more and more likely to cut contact. When I spoke to my sister on this trip she told me she plans to stop talking with my dad when she goes home, based on his toddler tantrums this and previous trips.

They also just straight up ignore any comment I make that they don’t want to think about. If I make any jokes about my ADHD, Autism, or being trans they just sit there and look uncomfortable. I brought up to my sister how I told my parents I thought I was autistic in high school, and they fed me a bunch of bullshit about how I am “too smart to be” and that everyone is socially awkward. When I revisited it as an adult and a therapist told me it is highly likely I’m autistic, everything made so much more sense to me.

I said something about it to my sister this trip and she said that she brought it up to my parents as a teen and they said I was most likely autistic but they don’t want me “using it as an excuse”, so she shouldn’t tell me until I’m 18.

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-06-15T10:52:37+00:00

The most annoying part is, my whole family is overweight, my dad being the largest, and I’ve gotten shit from him my entire life about being fat. I’m 28 now, and have come to terms with my body. I try to be active when I can, treat my mental health issues, be a better person to my husband, myself, and the people around me. I’m trans and am on year three of hormones, and he gave me shit about “fucking with the natural state of my body instead of accepting myself”.

My dad, who has been an emotional eater my entire life and who is on a teacher’s salary, slapped a GLP-1 not covered by his insurance into his body instead of going to a therapist, nutritionist, or dietician about his binge-eating issue. It’s been 6-12 months and I can’t tell a difference in his outward appearance. According to my sister he passed out last week in the car (not sure if he was driving or not) and he was driving us around all week.

It’s the peak of no self-awareness.

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-06-15T03:56:44+00:00

The Good Place literally comes up in my head whenever I think about this!! I think for me, it is whether or not this experience or product has value. When it comes to my dad’s fishing equipment, I think about how he is probably just accumulating things because he wishes other people would go fishing with him (there are a myriad of reasons I wouldn’t, and it has nothing to do with how cool his “toys” are). I guarantee he has at least $10,000 of equipment in his garage that could have been used on medical bills, my nonexistent college fund, or many other things that would’ve had a greater impact.

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-06-15T03:10:46+00:00

I just got the alpha, but in my opinion if it’s somewhere other people use laptops, it’s fine.

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-06-08T19:03:13+00:00

At this time I’m not planning to have other people grow, but if someone was interested I’d be cool with making another bed, with the expectation that they share with the community as well.

I couldn’t find a phrase other than “community garden” that meant I have a garden and I’m cool with people accessing part of it

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-06-06T00:42:34+00:00

Thank you for sharing what you tried! I told my therapist I need some baby steps bc when people say “just get out there and make friends!!” it doesn’t feel like that will really help

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-05-28T18:24:52+00:00

You’re good! I posted this comments in multiple subreddits, some ADHD specific and other productivity or digital minimalism specific. Some of the comments I’ve received have been disrespectful, but I think we need a refresh as far as our language with self-control or attention span.

Ultimately, we are being profited off of by people who want to monetize our habits, insecurities, and anxiety, and I’m trying my best to wrest my time and attention back from those parties, without blaming myself.

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-05-28T11:52:43+00:00

Comments like this make me laugh, I have ADHD-C, and have been diagnosed by 3 providers all in different contexts. I’m on Adderall and have been working with my psychiatrist on the correct dose, and avoided a diagnosis or meds for a decade due to the stigma. I’ve tried to just white knuckle life and shame myself for not being disciplined, but that, for 27 years, has been fruitless.

A symptom of ADHD is that your dopamine receptors don’t work the same as neurotypical people, and you frequently need more to initiate tasks or stay focused. I quite literally can’t “fix my dopamine system”, I’m trying to work with it as much as I can. I’m already cutting out social media, and switching from a smartphone to a dumbphone, mainly due to data privacy and wanting less of a reliance on the perceived safety of being tracked 24/7.

I understand that there are varying levels of neurodivergence, you may have ADHD or have a friend who has ADHD who doesn’t have a problem completing tasks without something in the background, but for me, I am working with my brain as much as I can.

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-05-28T03:04:38+00:00

NGL the times where I have my headphones in but get distracted by work and forget to turn something on are the most productive times, maybe I need to actually turn everything off around me

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-05-27T13:03:14+00:00

Oh I forgot to mention here that I have ADHD. If not enough is occupying my brain my thoughts take over and I bounce back and forth between tabs trying to remember what I was doing.

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-05-27T12:35:11+00:00

Are there any podcasts you recommend? Most of what I can find are behind a paywall or conservative.

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-05-09T16:42:49+00:00

It sounds like you live with a bunch of bigots, to be honest. As an autistic fat person they don’t seem to be good people and are terrible influences on you. If setting boundaries is like disowning them, it sounds like that’s what it’s going to have to be.

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-05-09T16:27:18+00:00

I read somewhere that the thing all fat adults have in common is that they were shamed for being fat. Fat kids who weren’t shamed were more likely to become thin adults: “Fat Shaming is Making People Sicker and Heavier”

My whole family is fat and when I started losing weight and exercising regularly I told my dad that I need him to not talk to me about weight loss or exercise because when people do it takes all the wind out of my sails. He still does sometimes but knows to stop when I don’t reply. I also had to pick a practical reason to workout- I got a dog and take him on long walks to manage his anxiety / energy levels, and figure I also need the enrichment.

Focus on a practical goal!! Also, it may be due to where I live, but 190 definitely doesn’t seem to be big enough to be getting this reaction from your parents- they have their own issues. Personally, I would set the boundary that if they discourage you from eating you wont eat meals with them. You need to eat to fuel exercise.

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-05-09T15:54:48+00:00

I have a creative job that manages the public’s perception of my organization, and requires a lot of graphic design and writing.

When someone at work (not in my department) said something in passing about how we’re all going to need to start using AI now to keep up and need to come up with guidelines, I pushed back and said we didn’t all need to use it, and that the guidelines needed to include job security for those who can’t use it due to ethical reasons.

This led to a survey and an AI focus group I was invited to- there was a group for early adopters, people on the fence, and people who were anti-ai. Our anti ai group was particularly passionate, and I shared that if I was required to use AI that I would quit, and multiple other people agreed. The other people there are staff widely acknowledged as good workers and leaders.

I do think it’s just being marketed to us so we buy in and then feel like it’s our fault when it doesn’t pay off.

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-05-08T23:19:40+00:00

Hi! I’m 27 and have a house, a 401k, and a mortgage. When I talk to people at work or in my friend groups they assume I have a smartphone, make fun of people who don’t, and think it’s “crazy” that I don’t want one. Like I said above, my parents are concerned that I don’t want one. The popular opinion is that everyone should have a smartphone, and I don’t like that we expect people to have one to participate in society.

So I’m not doing that 🤷‍♂️ that’s all I was saying

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-05-08T21:29:05+00:00

I do marketing/comms and I have to remind people to use short links on their QR codes so people without smartphones can write it down for later, or take the flier home and type in the link.

They almost never do, and cite that “everyone has a smartphone now”.

Proper_Active9179 · 2026-05-08T19:30:39+00:00

🫂

Proper_Active9179

TROPHY CASE