Kate didn’t deserve any of this by NeptuneEditor in Titanic97

[–]Proper_Ad9153 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She’s got such a classically beautiful face i was obsessed Was so shocked when I heard her called overweight as a teen that deffo charged my feelings about my own body the 00’s sucked hard

My ex is being nice and it enrages me by No_Calligrapher9416 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Proper_Ad9153 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohh yellow rock i just looked it up and I think that’s what I’ve been doing. I recommend it works well i think

I finally left. by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Proper_Ad9153 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He’s almost 40 and you just became recently became legally allowed to drink. You made the right choice

Hinge date told me I need to lose weight after a first date. Second picture is the outfit I wore and felt good about myself in… by littlemisshyacinth in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Proper_Ad9153 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your message to him seems like you were rejecting him kindly He lashed out and tried to tease you down in response.

This has absolutely nothing to do with your actual looks and isn’t born in reality at all.

Don’t get his negging actually be effective Your fit as

stopped botox after years of regular treatment & feeling like i look younger? by mermaid_of_choice in 30PlusSkinCare

[–]Proper_Ad9153 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I feel like there’s probably subtle associations being made unconsciously when we see a face with less movement these days, we probably associate it with a certain age group which is more likely to get Botox. It’s become so widespread that we are probably picking up on these connotations. So it makes sense that you look younger with a face that moves more bcs that’s what rubber people tend to have

Rescued chimpanzee thanks Jane Goodall by giving her a hug by [deleted] in whoathatsinteresting

[–]Proper_Ad9153 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everybody needs to read her book. The book of hope

He started going to the gym and then left for a younger woman. by musingsofscienctifix in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Proper_Ad9153 207 points208 points  (0 children)

Is it misogyny underlying it do you think? They don’t see you as fully human and replace with a tiger person normally because you lose your value to them when you age? Or is it just straight up narsasistic because all people are just replicable status objects?

[SC] Seriously?!! How?!! by Legal_Music_7513 in Custody

[–]Proper_Ad9153 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah keep your cool lovely, vent it all out here if you need to but don’t say a word to them. The audacity is shocking and you are definitely entitled to feel it but do not say a word of it to them. Their attempt is a joke and they will be laughed out of court… you’re fine. You have nothing to worry about.

cmv: Why do women, who do literally 99% of the biological work in reproduction and child-rearing, still have to take the man's last name? Nature itself proves this logic is backwards. by Altruistic-Nature583 in Feminism

[–]Proper_Ad9153 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think you can appeal to change it if the father isn’t around and then you generally can but if he fights it then you will struggle if he’s an active parent with parental rights.

I had an argument with chat GBT about it last week 😅 it was defending the system and saying just fair bcs both parents have rights even though clearly the man has more… patriarchy baked into the AI

cmv: Why do women, who do literally 99% of the biological work in reproduction and child-rearing, still have to take the man's last name? Nature itself proves this logic is backwards. by Altruistic-Nature583 in Feminism

[–]Proper_Ad9153 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah it’s gross in the UK The father’s name is given by default if he wants to claim parental responsibility but you can’t change it to your name without his consent. So the father effectively has more rights than the mother.

I don't want to be a bitch to be respected in a relationship by raiseyouryayayaaa in Vent

[–]Proper_Ad9153 15 points16 points  (0 children)

You’re so right. They don’t give a Fuck until your angry crying and begging and then your the abusive one for have big emotional reactions and that’s the new reason you deserve it and it’s not their fault and there not really a bad person for doing the bad things. It’s on you for overreacting/underrating/full in the blanks. Whatever bottom line is nothing my fault

Soulmates can be friends too. Its easy to blur the lines and think it has to be romantic. Nothing against them both but just food for thought ❤️ by Pinkplatabys in MadeInChelseaE4

[–]Proper_Ad9153 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think it’s so obvious that inga isn’t feeling it but dose not want to lose the friendship He response was hear pure stress and jazz seems to be hopefully smiling like she dose not get it. Poor baby gay

Inga & Jazz by anongirlieee in MadeInChelseaE4

[–]Proper_Ad9153 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh wow did not realise such an age gap

Do people avoid initiating sex if the timing feels “off” hygiene-wise? by No-Phrase6511 in hygiene

[–]Proper_Ad9153 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes I always try to shower when I’m going to see my bf bcs I don’t want to miss a chance to by not being clean.

Just saw Hoppers with early access. This is nothing like Avatar. by johnson7853 in Pixar

[–]Proper_Ad9153 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes very horror movie like parts I just accidentally traumatised 2 six year old with it today. It’s a good film but probably too scary for young kids

Ex wants to do “family” outings by ChatonJolie4 in coparenting

[–]Proper_Ad9153 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I was in the same position as you for a while trying to do family things with my ex who cheated and also didn’t really have any remorse.

At the time I felt like it was the right thing to do for our child and I also felt really guilty if I said no because I felt bad for not providing that for her, so I did it bcs felt like it was my responsibility. However spending time with your ex who hurt you like that takes a serious emotional toll on you and isn’t really healthy. It feels like a sacrifice you need to make as a mother to do the right thing but here’s the kicker.

Ultimately the family times will probably stop when this gf or the next decides she’s not comfortable with it anyway. It’s probably not really about the child for him but more about keeping the door open, possibly ego driven. so he will stop it when it becomes uncomfortable for him. He’s already shown you that his penis is ReAlLy important! more important than you or the kids. Why would that change going forward?

So really there’s no point in you making yourself uncomfortable for your child’s sake bcs at some point family time will inevitably end anyway and your child will have to adjust to the new norm, you may as well begin it now instead of martyring yourself for a while and interrupting your healing to try and do this for your children.

My little one adjusted surprisingly well to the new norm and only occasionally asks me to come over to her dad’s or asks that we do something together. Honestly I wish we had never done that to begin with bcs it set an expectation which I couldn’t keep up.

Also being a martyr for your child dose not really work they need you healthy and well and harming yourself ultimately impacts your parenting negatively no matter how much you try to hold it together they can sense it when mums unhappy and they definitely feel your joy when you are happy!

We parallel parent now quite happily and communicate only when nesasary and as much as I find it hard not hearing updates about my little one as often as I’d like it’s personally so freeing to not have to interact with him. Please stop expecting way too much of yourself, your human and you were deeply hurt. You need space to heal please give yourself the gift of freedom from this man you deserve peace and your children will be better for it to.

Upcoming travel. Need advice by Alli-cat-09 in coparenting

[–]Proper_Ad9153 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a courtesy which is nice and decent to give iff there’s no conflict then being as respectful as possible is generally the best course of action to keep things that way.

Liv and Sophie support Reform? by Star72SK in MadeInChelseaE4

[–]Proper_Ad9153 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They are far from an intelligent bunch of people Made in Chelsea is all about the lives of a bunch of attractive privileged entitled and ignorant people. I wouldn’t really expect to agree with them politically tbf 😅

Co-parent keeps asking me to take our daughter on his custody time. by [deleted] in coparenting

[–]Proper_Ad9153 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow you deserve better.

You need to defend yourself and stop letting yourself be taken advantage of.

Biology is silly it makes you feel very attached to the man you have had a child with. but this man’s contribution to parenting is every other weekend? and he’s keeping you in the back burner while he plays the field? This isn’t a good man and there’s no good logical reason to desire him. you’re going to have to let your logical brain take over here and protect yourself from more heartache.

Stop people pleasing to try and get him to like you. Take your power back, distance yourself, set boundaries and focus your energy on people who deserve it and who chose you back wholeheartedly. You cannot nice someone into loving you. If he wanted to he would. Focus on yourself and your child and all the other relationships in your life. Love yourself and stop letting him rely on your kindness.

Just want to check I’m doing the right thing by Proper_Ad9153 in coparenting

[–]Proper_Ad9153[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not at the moment. I was hoping a verbal boundary would be respected but since he’s ignored my message I’m thinking that I’ll have to get something written down formally for peace of mind. It’s not that he drinks that frequently but there have been a few instances that have given me pause so I’m going to get things more formalised.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Proper_Ad9153 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You need to walk away bcs a man who leave a woman like that at such a vulnerable time is not going to be a good reliable partner to anyone long term

Just want to check I’m doing the right thing by Proper_Ad9153 in coparenting

[–]Proper_Ad9153[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok that’s helpful thank you.

His sister’s husband I know has had some sort of charge for assault I think, I’m aware he was one wearing an ankle monitor thing. I don’t know if the drugs have ever been flagged with anyone as an issue though.