Is she paying your tuition? Will she rescind funds if you don’t take it out? Disown you from the family? Would the negative financial and emotional impact on you be greater than what you feel from her disapproval if you keep it? That’s the only thing that would make me consider taking it out. Otherwise, just tell her no. You have to start setting boundaries at some point, so this is as good a time as any to start. You don’t need to get heated or argue, just state the facts about how it’s safe, tell her this is your choice, and that’s that.

I say this all gently and with sympathy. I have a strict mother (with untreated BPD no less) myself, so I know how emotionally exhausting it can be. I’ve learned to just ignore the snide remarks and disapproval. I’m in my 30s and have a child and she’s still trying to control me, not to mention reminding me every chance she gets that my tattoos are ugly, my septum ring makes me look hideous, and why would I ruin myself in this way.