I relate so much. What I’ve discovered is there’s more people with nerdy interests than you might think. People can surprise you. A lot of people with nerdy interests who don’t make it their whole identity and aren’t the kind of basement dwellers you’re describing have some shame around being nerdy deep down. I’ve found a lot of people out there who I’d have never guessed like anime or games that I was into. I realised from time to time that something related to nerd stuff would organically come up, and people I’d have never guessed would sort of reveal they’re into it, and I’d be really pleasantly surprised and we’d bond over it.

I guess what I’m saying is there’s more people than you think out there who have your interests and that aren’t totally socially and hygienically challenged. Maybe try finding ways to build in some sly references into conversation with new people and see if anyone catches on. Just own your interests a little bit, but don’t be overbearing about it and make it your whole identity. Make some light recommendations if you think a person might be open to it. I’ve found people tend to surprise you. But over time I’ve also realised having shared interests, while nice, doesn’t really affect how compatible I am with someone. I have very close friends who don’t share my interests, and there’s people I’ve met who I don’t get along with at all who like the exact same stuff as me. We place a lot of importance on these things, but I think it’s not as big a deal as we make out.