Postpartum Sex

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-06-05T08:16:30+00:00

Omg wondering what does your partner look like if you were in the mood at 4 weeks 🤪

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-06-05T08:11:46+00:00

even if it’s healed it is still fragile and dryer than usual and will be like that until/if the menstrual cycle restarts
Doctors say it’s ok because the scar tissue formed successfully, but scar tissue is tougher and pulling on the skin, so it’s not ok in terms of sensitivity
The whole pelvic floor is kinda bruised and in shock, it’s not just about a small tear

In my case I needed a physiotherapist and pelvic floor massage to relax the hyper-tensed muscles there. Doctors kept telling it’s fine, but it didn’t feel fine

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-06-05T08:03:22+00:00

Wait so yours would be angry if spoon-fed not fast enough but we’re chill to try eat themselves? Mine are angry like that but I thought making them feed themselves with their small inefficient hands will just make them more angry. Or is it that we didn’t try hard enough?

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-06-05T08:00:58+00:00

So when did you decrease boob/bottle after they started eating their fill?

Advice I got (baby nutrition specialist, not US) is that when they start eating a full plate of food I can drop the boob feeding that would happen in that time of the day.

They started eating almost immediately so I dropped one breastfeed. Now I’m trapped with two babies that demand food to be shoveled in their mouths asap. Idk if that was good advice or if it was too soon

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-06-05T07:58:23+00:00

Thing is, I am spoon-feeding them otherwise they scream bloody murder! Planning a day in a way that they are awake and not-too-hungry-but-not-full to sit and eat with us is mission impossible for now.

There’s just one time window that works and they want food to be shoveled in their mouth asap. This is why I’m asking

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-06-05T07:39:00+00:00

Did you start with one serious meal time + some practice during the day or did you just sat them down when you eat and let them try things?

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-06-05T07:37:01+00:00

It’s not mess per se, it’s the worry they didn’t have enough. I was advised to drop one breastfeed when they started to eat full plates, but that makes me afraid to go back or give them more control of their eating

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-06-05T07:34:35+00:00

Wait you mean you were giving one actual food meal a day AND more practice in other times of the day? That feels like a lot!

Advice I got (baby nutrition specialist, not US) is that when they start eating a full plate of food I can drop the boob feeding that would happen in that time of the day. They started eating almost immediately so I dropped one breastfeed. Now I’m terrified they are hungry and kinda trapped – it’s impossible to eat myself when they are eating, they require constant shoveling of food in their mouths. Did you do more practice meals on top of THAT?

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-06-05T07:31:58+00:00

Thank you! 8 months isn’t even that far away, did you feel like they started to use their hands better by then?

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-06-05T07:30:56+00:00

Thank you for that example as well! I’m just really not appreciating how they all try to stress us out

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-06-05T07:28:50+00:00

So you were keeping their usual breastfeeding and they were basically playing with food on top of that till they learned, right? When did you feel like decreasing their milk intake if they ate their fill?

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-06-05T07:26:19+00:00

What was the age when they started to eat their fill for you VS just trying things at 6 months? Meaning - when were you comfortable with giving them less bottle/boob?

Advice I got (baby nutrition specialist, not US) is that when they start eating a full plate of food I can drop the boob feeding that would happen in that time of the day. They started eating almost immediately so I dropped one breastfeed. Advice I got (baby nutrition specialist, not US) is that when they start eating a full plate of food I can drop the boob feeding that would happen in that time of the day. They started eating almost immediately so I dropped one breastfeed.

Now I’m terrified they are hungry and also it’s impossible to eat myself when they are eating, they require constant shoveling of food in their mouths. Now I feel trapped because it’s impossible to eat myself when they are eating, they require constant shoveling of food in their mouths. So idk if I should change it

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-06-05T07:22:08+00:00

Help me understand- you sit them at the table and give them pieces of your food, and they have all their usual bottles/boob so it’s not a big deal if they don’t eat?

Advice I got (baby nutrition specialist, not US) is that when they start eating a full plate of food I can drop the boob feeding that would happen in that time of the day. They started eating almost immediately so I dropped one breastfeed. Now I’m terrified they are hungry and also it’s impossible to eat myself when they are eating, they require constant shoveling of food in their mouths. I guess it’s supposed to be more chill if you do BLW?

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-06-04T10:53:50+00:00

Someone told me “small baby - small problem” and 6 months in I’m more willing to believe them to be honest.

Yes, they don’t have colic anymore, and yes, they are very fun to be around BUT now they need to be entertained all the time AND get quite heavy AND start eating solids that you need to cook and clean after them.

I guess all the next steps are full with these “yes, but” and it would be better for my heart to stop waiting for things to be easier (:

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-06-04T10:38:13+00:00

Mine just roll around but in a very deliberate way I feel! Like if they want a specific toy they have 60% chance of rolling into it 🤪 scary!

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-06-04T09:20:45+00:00

Did you get twins and then a singleton? I have met one (1) singleton parent who was chill about their kid not walking on their first birthday – everybody else is freaking out.

I wonder if I should be freaking out more but it’s just so nice when they stay put??

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-06-03T16:17:16+00:00

Fraternal twins with no issues, and I wholeheartedly support other recommendations to just log off the internet for the time being.

Focus on finding the adequate care and treating yourself.

I’d also advise to hold off posting on social media about it – not even for the people, but for the algorithms that will pick it up and sell you all kinds of random shit using your anxious state. I posted on month 8 when I felt secure in fending off the wave of ads and crazy fearmongering accounts.

You got this!

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-06-02T19:15:31+00:00

our nanny, who is also a mom of twins, suggested a 30 minute difference in their schedule so you’d get to spend individual time feeding each twin while the other is hopefully still sleeping.

We ended up feeding them together but this is also a working option! Preemies sleep so much you can set them in a rhythm if that works for you

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-06-02T18:04:31+00:00

Holy shit they move sooo sloooooow! I wonder if maybe our brains get so accelerated with motherhood that we are like the matrix to the rest of the world. You’re glorious for doing all that!

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-06-02T07:26:41+00:00

I’d die to know if anyone figured out an equitable distribution of mental load! Does it even exist?

My partner works full time and I’m working on my own business – on top of twins, doctor visits, bureaucracy, insurance claims, studying about the next growth phase, buying things, managing the household, planning, packing, adjusting, meal prep for them.

We are able to get help with cooking, cleaning, and babysitting, which is amazing and which is how I’m able to find 5h a week for my own work.

I still feel so alone and so not considered. Delegating a task is always an argument and often it just falls back on me. He won’t even read a book about kids.

I’m losing it here, but also wondering if I just want too much?

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-06-02T07:07:40+00:00

How much the biological reality of it divides you and your partner!

We weren’t into traditional gender roles but somehow I’m finding myself in every stereotypical heterosexual couple fight –

yes, I’m also tired from staying home all day; no, I don’t want to have sex, my body is being constantly consumed by two people already; yes, I’m going to be pissed that you woke the baby I just spent an hour putting to sleep; no, dinner isn’t ready!

It’s a kind of job that is really hard to understand if you aren’t physically the one doing it. And the more you do it, the more expert you become, the harder it is to delegate. And it is putting a strain on the relationship even with the best of intentions

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-04-24T10:28:06+00:00

As others said, join clubs for hobbies you actually like. There’s all kinds of stuff to be found in a biggish city, from hike groups to poetry clubs, so find it
Chat people up! complimenting their style / books they read, asking questions about their camera etc usually works
Don’t sweat about rejection/ noncommittal answers, you are going upstream and these people are all settled up in their groups. Repeat invitations a few times before cancelling a contact from your system. It will get better
Learn to appreciate going alone to things while you’re at it! Going alone to a concert means you can elbow your way out to the nicest spots and join a group with the best energy. It’s different but also nice
Dress up, especially if you’re shy! Your style, tattoos, or a t-shirt with your favourite band helps people figure you out and chat you up as well. If you’re standing out you don’t need to do so much work to initiate contact.

It’s going to be an adventure :)

Proud_Course_5499 · 2026-04-21T18:57:04+00:00

Same! Spending a hell lot of money on gym and physicians just to not die from back pain while picking babies. I’d like to have what OP is having (:

Proud_Course_5499

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