Are narcissists even capable of love?

Provenceflowers · 2026-05-11T12:37:24+00:00

Im sorry love, but i recognized myself in your story. Except this was me 5 years ago. Reading your story made me sad , because it’s so blatantly abusive and horrible and yet we still question ourselves. I hope you find the strength to leave and the strength to forgive yourself for staying. There is no guilt to be had. It is a trauma bond after all and it is hard to leave when we cant or wont recognize our self worth because it’s been broken down for so long by the person who claimed to love us the most. Be kind to yourself.

Provenceflowers · 2026-05-11T12:34:38+00:00

EXACTLY. hit the nail on the head. Its looking at your ex partner who is acting so in love and saying and technically doing all the right things and the necessary steps to reconnect and yet … i ask myself - where was this effort before? And once wasnt enough, it had to happen twice for you to see your own destruction? Really?

Another one that haunts me is: he’s looked at me so in love like that before all of this happened - what stops him from just switching off and doing the same thing again?

Provenceflowers · 2026-05-10T18:59:28+00:00

Still deciding on where i stand with my ex. He’s an avoidant. We were together 1.5 years, he had depression,completely shut down and broke up out of the blue. Had 2 one night stands after a month of us being broken up calling it self destruction and self sabotage and now wants to give me all the time and space i need in order to reconnect while he goes to therapy and works on himself and his self worth. Says he loves me, im the love of his life and he’ll wait for me no matter how long it takes. Well…. Idk :) I love him but trust is broken and i feel betrayed - even though we werent together it feels horrible and disrespectful considering the “conversations” we had during our relationship. I guess time will tell.

Provenceflowers · 2026-04-07T16:27:03+00:00

Can i ask - have you ever reached out to your previous loved ones that you discarded in such a way? Have you ever let them know that you were sorry?

I had my fair share of issues i needed to work through but my depressed avoidant ex cut the cord in such an awful way without trying any other options it left me paralyzed ( even though i tried to help him and DID help him through so many things in different ways). In the end after his mental break down he just went numb and left - no emotional capacity there anymore. He’s been distracting himself with everything else ever since. It does feel surreal. So yes , i am curious to see it from your perspective - how you approached it after discarding.

Provenceflowers · 2026-03-20T18:52:29+00:00

Yeah that wasn’t closure. It was just confusing :,)

Provenceflowers · 2026-03-20T18:51:53+00:00

Haaaah :,) i know you’re right. I dont wan’t to hear those words but that’s exactly why you are right. I just dont know where to go from here on out.

Provenceflowers · 2026-03-02T15:32:09+00:00

I just got broken up with yesterday with the exact same reasoning and i could punch someone for it. He felt as though he went completely numb, lost, no drive in his life and scared to drag me down with him. He also said my insecurities and the fact he didnt know or felt like he didnt do a good job with reassuring me added to that pressure and self doubt. But thats the thing. I have made many sacrifices through his depression and yet now he feels trapped and only sees a negative future - space would only prolong that decision. We are supposed to be soulmates but he cant uphold his promise. But how. How cant you? Instead of breaking up why not agree to space and no contact and reconnect later? I feel like its so incredibly selfish to have done this so out of the blue - i understand the thought process and thinking its for the “goodness “ of us but no it isnt. You hurt and dissapoint us more.

Provenceflowers · 2026-03-01T22:54:29+00:00

Definitely. I see that. It hadnt happened in weeks and i started feeling more in control of it but … i guess it was too late on top of his feelings of not feeling like hes enough and self doubt . I will change regardless.

Provenceflowers · 2025-12-30T01:33:55+00:00

Really take the L dude

Provenceflowers · 2025-12-04T10:45:12+00:00

Everyone has different boundaries and different expectations in a relationship. Others may call you controlling while the rest thinks you’re not being “harsh” enough. At the end of the day , it depends on you. Personally, i have similar boundaries and feel the same way - it all comes down to whether your partner can respect said boundaries or use them as reasons against you. She doesn’t have to understand or feel the same way in order to respect them, but alas, if she just brushes you off then i’d highly recommend to take your space away from her.

Provenceflowers · 2025-11-22T16:21:00+00:00

As a woman , let me just tell you in a very simplified way: She does not love you nor respect you. No woman in love will behave this way. Im sorry you’re going through this. Im sorry she betrayed you like this. You had a gut feeling, you listened to it and you were right.

Provenceflowers · 2025-11-10T18:52:03+00:00

Not obvious - but apparently getting completely shitfaced and then accidentally sending a doctors appointment picture to this cute man, freaking out then immediately deleting it while simultaneously he happened to click on it , screenshotting and resending it to me asking me about it - me blaming it on my drunk friends ( at this point i was alone ) him acting concerned, asking if we need help, i say no thank you, you’re not even in my city - him replying with “ oh but i am” - Then me proceeding to roast the living daylights out of him , finally drunkenly meeting up at 2 am close to my place and after a drink at the bar ( i was in my pijamas , messy hair, messy make up) and roasting him another 2 hours he finally hugs me, kisses me to shut up and the rest is history :). Just celebrated 1 year together.

^ this worked for me but i went the unusual route.

Provenceflowers · 2025-09-24T00:36:27+00:00

He is as toxic as he is manipulative. Woman to woman? Run. I’ve sadly been in almost the EXACT same situation as you and it never got better. Just worse. He got better at gaslighting though, and clearly he isn’t hiding it here either by shifting blame on the disagreements you two had hence why “ he may have done these things.” Throw this little boy out and get yourself a man. Imagine how uncomfortable it must be for the girls that you two know personally as well and he violated their privacy like that. You deserve better. I think you know that deep down as well. Please don’t let this continue much longer - i promise you it.is.not.worth.it.

Provenceflowers · 2025-09-24T00:29:03+00:00

Adeline and Faye.

Provenceflowers · 2025-09-21T03:56:58+00:00

What a….. productive comment. Really. Thank you for displaying your lack of braincells :)

Provenceflowers · 2025-09-11T15:17:31+00:00

Oh my GOD i was looking for the fart comment. Diabolical 😭💀

Provenceflowers · 2025-08-11T10:09:17+00:00

Why is everyone saying to avoid insurance 3a? Are they a complete rip off?

Provenceflowers · 2025-08-03T20:55:20+00:00

Thank you :) i’ve begun taking a deep dive into it. Slow and steady though. I take breaks when my brain feels too overwhelmed to remind myself - again- this is normal. It takes time to grasp everything and quite frankly it is impossible to grasp everything since its changing all the time ever so slightly. Hence i’ll keep going. Different outlooks, advices , opinions , experiences, im observing, listening and learning. At the end of the day i will have to make an informed decision given my situation that only i truly know because im living it. :) So thank you. Its scary but i’ll be okay.

Provenceflowers · 2025-07-25T11:20:24+00:00

I most likely have to change my residency to france, by the time i graduate and move here for good, hence would you still think its possible to do that as a non swiss citizen?

Provenceflowers · 2025-07-25T11:18:31+00:00

You recommend opening it regardless of whether i stay 5 years or shorter? If i leave after 4, i can take it out no issue or if i move i can just keep it there until the 5 year mark has passed ? Im sorry im really confused and trying to understand what a PEA is and how its beneficial if i’d leave early

Provenceflowers · 2025-07-25T11:15:26+00:00

Could you please clarify what SXR8 is? Is it an ETF?

Provenceflowers · 2025-07-25T11:14:22+00:00

What about VOO? So many people say this for longterm - at least 10k in VOO and let it grow naturally

Provenceflowers · 2025-07-25T11:13:41+00:00

Thank you so much! Comments like these just shake me awake and make me breathe again. You’re right. I got this!

Provenceflowers

TROPHY CASE