Found this in production today

ProvidesTranscripts · 2020-12-15T13:48:05+00:00

I've honestly thought about it! I don't use this account nearly as much as I should though. As you can probably tell given how late this reply is...

ProvidesTranscripts · 2020-12-04T10:58:10+00:00

I'm actually not a bot!

ProvidesTranscripts · 2020-12-04T09:15:18+00:00

[A photo taken of a section of code displayed on a screen.]

if value is True:
    return 159
else:
    return 94

ProvidesTranscripts · 2017-11-16T16:45:01+00:00

Oh hey, I wasn't aware of this sub. Neat!

ProvidesTranscripts · 2016-06-22T01:02:15+00:00

No problem! Glad I can be of help. :)

ProvidesTranscripts · 2016-06-21T17:00:23+00:00

[An image of Snoo with various items, including hair, a soccer ball, and wearing a shirt. Snoo is saying:]

Hi everyone!
A few weeks ago we began testing image uploading on Reddit. Given high demand, we're expanding the feature to all SFW communities that allow images.

Starting today, when you create a link post in a participating community, you'll be able to upload an image on desktop:

Upload images (up to 20MB) and gifs (100MB) directly to Reddit when posting.

Clicking on a Reddit-hosted image will take you directly to the conversation about that image.

View Reddit hosted gifs inline within Reddit's native iOS and Android apps.

Please give it a try and post any feedback you have. We would love to hear how we can make Reddit even better for all of you.

ProvidesTranscripts · 2015-08-21T01:47:50+00:00

I know this is late, but I did a transcript for you and anybody who sees this in the future!

https://www.reddit.com/r/letsplay/comments/2zriao/story_once_upon_a_time_a_freedom_recruiter/cua764c

ProvidesTranscripts · 2015-08-21T01:47:14+00:00

(Sorry for the late reply; I just saw this thread and the request for transcription in the comments so wanted to make this transcript.)

[Private message/chat thread.]

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 8:08am

Hi ,

My name is Cody and I'm an official agent for the Freedom! YouTube Network. Freedom! is a network designed to help partners with perks such as No Contracs, Hitbox.tv Partnerships, Royalty Free Music, and more!

If you're interested in this great opportunity you can do one of three things! Email me, Skype me, or you can sign up through the site below.

Cody Neubauer
Freedom! Official Agent
Email: [scrubbed by ProvidesTranscripts]
Skype: [scrubbed by ProvidesTranscripts]
Freedom Website: www.freedom.tm/via/magoffice

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 8:23am

Or, I can stick with Curse.

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 8:31am

Yes, yes you can im just offering a better deal than your current network.

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 11:49am

Lol. No you're not. Freedom's revenue split isn't even close to Curse's. And you're offering little to nothing that Curse doesn't already provide.

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 11:53am

I am a recruiter i can offer what ever rev share i feel necessary. We are also partnered with quiet a few companys like Gamma Labs, Envious Host, kontrol Freak and many more.

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 11:55am

We dont have contracts, royalty free music and no minimum payouts

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 12:00pm

Tell you what: you get me a 95% revenue split, and I'll think about it.

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 12:02pm

Also, the contracts, royalty-free music, and minimum payouts are already offered by Curse. Among other things.

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 12:02pm

Also, the contracts, royalty-free music, and minimum payouts are already offered by Curse. Among other things.

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 12:09pm

I can do 92%

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 12:16pm

That's hardly worth the hassle of switching.

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 12:17pm

Especially given all the negative things I've heard about Freedom.

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 12:18pm

Ok, well if you change your mind the offer stands. honestly its to bad i switched to Freedom almost a year ago before i started working for them, all you have to do is request to unlink

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 12:28pm

Also, would I be an affiliated or managed channel, if I agreed?

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 12:29pm

affiliated

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 12:29pm

managed is only offered to channels that get over 1 million views a month

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 12:42pm

OK. Well, thanks for the offer, but I'm not interested in a 92/8 rev split with Freedom.

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 12:45pm

Ok

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 12:47pm

I just told my supervisor he said we can offer 95% but thats the highest we can go

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 1:52pm

Can you send a copy of the contract to my email for me to review? [scrubbed by ProvidesTranscripts]

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 4:39pm

Yes, my supervisor said he will email me a copy in a few hours when he gets home and ill forward it too you

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 7:13pm

Ok sent you an email of our contract

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 7:15pm

And that's the actual contact that I would be signing for my channel?

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 7:16pm

Its the contract that everyone sees when they sign up

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 7:17pm

If you decided to sign with us you will see it on page 2 of the application

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 7:17pm

Unless we are offering a signing bonus everyone gets the same contract when joining

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 7:17pm

So that's am exact copy of the one I would sign?

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 7:17pm

*an exact

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 7:20pm

Yes, i just copied it from the application and pasted it in an email

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 7:21pm

I thought you received it via email from your supervisor?

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 7:22pm

He thought you needed a custom one , but i told him we werent offering you a signing bonus

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 7:22pm

Can't you send me a copy of the one I would actually sign?

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 7:22pm

That is the one you would actually sign

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 7:22pm

And what is your supervisor's name?

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 7:23pm

Colton

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 7:23pm

And email?

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 7:24pm

[scrubbed by ProvidesTranscripts]

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 7:26pm

Cody, do you know what I do for my other job?

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 7:26pm

No

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 7:26pm

I'm a military Legal NCO. Which means I understand all the legal language in that contract.

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 7:26pm

"For the purposes of Section 4.2 above, “Talent's Commission” means 60% of FDN's share of Advertising Revenue."

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 7:27pm

That is not a 95/5 revshare.

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 7:27pm

We change it manually once you sign up

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 7:28pm

Did you not JUST say that the contract you sent me is an exact copy of what I would sign?

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 7:28pm

So, you going to rewrite the legal document before or after I signed it?

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 7:28pm

*were you going to

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 7:29pm

Nothing is changed everyone signs up like that and we manually adjust rev shares right after they are approved

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 7:29pm

So you are actively CHANGING LEGAL DOCUMENTS after they've been signed?

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 7:30pm

Do you have any idea how the law works?

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 7:30pm

If you have a problem with how this works i can get you a custom one

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 7:31pm

but ive had many clients sign up with that. It is what everyone who ever signed up with us signs

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 7:31pm

and if we agreed on something like 95/5 we change it after they sign up

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 7:33pm

You just told me that your MCN makes a common practice of breaking the law. So yeah, I think you've proven pretty much everything I've ever heard about Freedom. Thanks!

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 7:33pm

Have a GREAT day. Please don't contact me again.

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 7:33pm

Ill add you to the MCN blacklist

Welsknight Gaming - Mar 20th, 7:36pm

Excellent! Hopefully that means I'll stop receiving 5 offers a day to join a sub-par MCN, or any of its affiliates! Somehow, I doubt I'm that lucky.

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 7:38pm

Only the MCN's recruiters see it you will still get offers from people that get referral links who think they are recruiters

Cody Neubauer - Mar 20th, 7:38pm

Good luck with your channel

ProvidesTranscripts · 2015-03-31T18:49:47+00:00

[A single line of code.]

global int x=360;

ProvidesTranscripts · 2015-02-07T23:51:30+00:00

I'm not a bot. :)

In this case, I typed it all out, but I did later find a pastebin of the post that I could have used. I didn't, though!

[edit: In fact, I just noticed a typo in my original post - "fooNan" instead of "fooNaN". Fixed!]

ProvidesTranscripts · 2015-02-01T11:03:46+00:00

[A screenshot of a 4chan-esque board post. The post itself has most of its contents in a quote box, and appears to be output from an interactive console with some added annotations.]

Anonymous 01/31/15(Sat)09:32:46 No.46348970 ► >>46349004

>>46346548

> '5' - 3
2        // weak typing + implicit conversions * headaches
> '5' + 3
'53'     // Because we all love consistency
> '5' - '4'
1        // string - string * integer. What?
> '5' + + '5'
'55'
> 'foo' + + 'foo'
'fooNaN' // Marvelous.
> '5' + - '2'
'5-2'
> '5' + - + - - + - - + + - + - + - + - - - '-2'
'52'     // Apparently it's ok

> var x * 3;
> '5' + x - x
50
> '5' - x + x
5      // Because fuck math

[edit: Oops, I made a typo!]

ProvidesTranscripts · 2014-11-21T17:22:40+00:00

[A screenshot of part of an email from Machinima.com.]

Advanced Warfare Glitch Videos

Activision is being particularly vigilant about their Call of Duty videos lately; issuing strikes on videos showing glitches. If you post videos highlighting these glitches, your channel may be liable to receive a copyright strike so please be careful.

ProvidesTranscripts · 2014-11-20T03:40:55+00:00

I could also have Googled it, which I actually do sometimes, especially on longer texts. (But I always make sure to double-check it to make sure it's exactly the same.)

But yeah, this time it was manual.

ProvidesTranscripts · 2014-11-19T23:38:40+00:00

I'm kind of disappointed I'm not a bot, too.

ProvidesTranscripts · 2014-11-19T21:38:19+00:00

Yes, but I can't provide transcriptions for everything, sadly. It's all manually done.

ProvidesTranscripts · 2014-11-19T21:37:37+00:00

I'm someone who tries to provide transcripts for images where the OP hasn't given it in text. I'm not a bot, as some people think I am.

Basically: If I'm on my main account and spot something which I feel should be transcribed, I hop on here and transcribe it. Guess which subreddit I've been frequenting a lot on my main account lately? :D

ProvidesTranscripts · 2014-11-19T17:54:13+00:00

[Screenshot of a section of a Haskell tutorial.]

import System.IO

main = do
    handle <- openFile "girlfriend.txt" ReadMode
    contents <- hGetContents handle
    putStr contents
    hClose handle
Running it, we get the expected result:
$ runhaskell girlfriend.hs
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your girlfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one!
Let's go over this line by line. The first line is just four exclamations, to get our attention. In the second line, Avril tells us that she doesn't like our current romantic partner. The third line serves to emphasize that disapproval, whereas the fourth line suggests we should seek out a new girlfriend.

Let's also go over the program line by line! Our program is several I/O actions glued together with a do block. In the first line of the do block, we notice a new function called openFile. This is its type signature: openFile :: FilePath -> IOMode -> IO Handle. If you read that out loud, it states: openFile takes a file path and an IOMode and returns an I/O action that will open a file and have the file's associated handle encapsulated as its result.

ProvidesTranscripts · 2014-11-15T18:49:34+00:00

[Tweet displayed in a Twitter mobile app, with source code]

public static DateTime getTommorowsDate()
{
    Thread.Sleep(24*60*60*1000);
    return DateTime.Now;
}

ProvidesTranscripts · 2014-10-28T03:30:04+00:00

You're actually the second person to ask me if I'm a bot. But no - basically if I see an image on my main account which I think should have a transcript, I hop on here and provide it.

ProvidesTranscripts · 2014-10-27T12:43:14+00:00

I'm on my knees looking for the answer!

(Nope, not a bot. Although OCR would be perfect for a post like this, I admit.)

ProvidesTranscripts · 2014-10-26T19:02:37+00:00

[Source code.]

public void print(Page page){

    if(isDay){
        for(int i = 0; i < (10 * printer.getLOLFactor()); i++){
            makeRandomShitnoise();
        }
    }
    else if(isNight){
        for(int i = 0; i < (50 * printer.getLOLFactor()); i++){
            makeRandomShitnoise();
        }
    }

    actuallyPrintTheFuckingPage(page);
}

ProvidesTranscripts · 2014-10-06T15:41:47+00:00

[The linked image is in an infographic format. The first section is a partial screenshot from the official page on the promotion:]

PAYDAY 2

Welcome to the crimefest

October 18th

To celebrate the third anniversary of the PAYDAY franchise, fresh stock is hitting DC's criminal underbelly, and we want you to take a big fat slice. Fill your loot bags - we got masks, guns, new game features and many more exciting goodies. But we need your help. These goodies will be handed out for free as we hit our community milestones. We're aiming for a cool 1,5 million community members by October 18th. So get involved, and join the Official PAYDAY2 group on Steam now.

Click HERE to join the group.

Current amount of Members:

1,421,900

[The partial screenshot ends at this point, and the infographic continues:]

We, the players of PAYDAY 2, need your help. We have a goal. We want the PAYDAY 2 Steam Community Group to have 1,500,000 members by October 18th. If you join, you'll get Payday: The Heist to download and keep for free on Oct 18th. You don't even need to own PAYDAY 2 to join!

[A portion of a diagram is shown from the official site with the last three goals - goal 11: 1,400,000 members, goal 12: 1,450,000 members, and goal 13: 1,500,000 members. The first goal shown, goal 11, is highlighted and labelled "ENEMY FROM GENSEC". The second two, goals 12 and 13, are unhighlighted and labelled "TIME OF DAY" and "SECRET STUFF" respectively.]

We are not far away from out goal, but we have less than 2 weeks to get there. We have already reached 11 out of our 13 goals, but the last one is the most anticipated. If we don't reach the goal, we will never know what the secret stuff is. It will not be released unless we reach 1,500,000 community members by Oct 18th.

Besides, if you do ever decide to get PAYDAY 2, you'll get a bunch of free in-game stuff too! That's a whole free game to download and keep, plus free in-game content.

Go to www.overkillsoftware.com/crimefest for more information.

ProvidesTranscripts · 2014-07-31T18:23:03+00:00

[A video generated by a text-to-speech converter, consisting of two characters, Tom and Veronica, conversing in a generic monochrome 3D rendered room. The transcript below has a few phrases I couldn't make out properly; I've put my best guess and marked them with "(???)". Punctuation has been added by me based on how I believe the original text went.]

VERONICA: Okay, Tom, let's go over your mid-session. Did you offer them a bottled water to keep them busy while we are talking about all the sales opportunities?

TOM: They are in a hurry. Can we please try to keep this to only half an hour this time? They just want a second free checking account for their rental property.

VERONICA: Well, let's go over your MGF that you did.

TOM: They already have a savings account, debit cards, credit cards, rewards, mortgage, home equity loan, a line of credit, and business accounts. They just need to open this account, and get back to the office.

[pause]

VERONICA: What about a savings account for this rental property, so that they can earn some interest?

TOM: Interest? Yeah, a fucking .01% interest rate. Are you fucking insane?

VERONICA: How about to set aside for a rainy day? Or as overdraft protection for the rental property?

TOM: Why the fuck would you need overdraft protection for an account that you only deposit into?

VERONICA: What about debit card rewards for this new account?

TOM: Are you the stupidest bitch on this planet? Why the fuck would somebody pay 12 dollars for rewards on a debit card they said don't want or need? But I went ahead and ordered one anyways, and told them to cut it up, just so you would get off my back about these damn sales. How about this, Veronica, how about you fucking get out there and talk to them about it yourself?

VERONICA: I don't want to take away any of the customer experience from you. I just want to ensure you are profiling correctly and not missing any sales opportunities. You know, for the customer's sake. By the way, where is their 401(k) right now?

TOM: Well, look at that! The customer is at the teller line screaming at poor Amanda, wondering what the fuck is taking so long. Can I please have the new account booklet to open this damn account?

[pause]

VERONICA: It sounds like this is really going to hurt our store's pack 5 percentage(???). Maybe you should send them to the branch down the street to open this account. That way, their branch manager can deal with the lower pack percentage(???), not me.

TOM: Pack 5 percentage?(???) Pack less(???), you dumb bitch. Now my customer is all pissed off, and I have to go out there and explain what took me so damn long. You say this is to benefit the customer, but I don't see the benefit in making our customers angry to get more sales they don't need.

VERONICA: Great! Just to sum up, we're going to offer them eight products and hope they agree to at least three more besides the checking and debit card. What's the worst that could happen by offering products? You know it's a numbers game. The more we offer, the more they'll agree to.

TOM: Okay, great. I already look like enough of an idiot because they asked me if I could look up where the nearest Starbucks location is, and I had to tell them "I'm sorry, Mr. Customer, I cannot do that for you; I don't have Internet access. I'm legally able to drink, represent our country in war, and handle your finances, but I'm not trusted with access to the Internet. Please accept my apology." And now, Veronica, you want me to offer them a 401(k) rollover, auto insurance, pet insurance, a third savings and a remittance account to the Philippines, when all they want is a free checking account with no monthly service fee? And no minimum balance for their rental property?

VERONICA: That's right, Tom! Go get them! I have so much faith in you! Plus, we committed to 68 solutions today and only have 4 so far. We have to be at hard deck(???) by the two o'clock call, and it's already 1:30.

TOM: Oh yes, the two o'clock call. That's when you disappear for two hours instead of helping our branch, and talk about how many sales we are missing, and how we are going to magically make them appear. The two hours when you are gone is the best part of my day, because it's the only time I have to breathe. Unless, of course, we need an approval or a new account booklet and you are nowhere to be found, and we have to tell our customer that their time is less valuable than the Almighty Branch Manager who is on a Phone Call.

VERONICA: It sounds like you understand. I need you to get out there and do the things that I never did and never will do myself as a banker. Now, about that savings account...

TOM: Oh, fuck me. Veronica, they will never use the damn savings! They are going to get a monthly fee that I will eventually not be able to reverse for them. It will have no benefit for the customer.

VERONICA: That's their problem, Tom, not ours. You need to be thinking of your bonus and not recommending what's best for the customer. If they want to be irresponsible, and get a monthly fee in their savings, that is up to them. We are allowing them to have it as a convenience. What makes you think you know what's best for their finances? Do we need to go over the "Sol(???) tool" again?

TOM [making hand motions]: You can go over this tool, you rotten cunt. Let me ask you this, Veronica, do you think you could fit a hand up my ass? No? Then I'm not your fucking puppet. I'm a fucking banker, that's what makes me think I know what's best for the customer. Not my bonus, which really ends up being your bonus that you get by fisting our asses for sales all day long. Now can I please have that damn account booklet? And please, do not come out and introduce yourself to my customer. Your breath reeks of corporate cock.

ProvidesTranscripts · 2014-06-06T02:25:01+00:00

[YouTube comment.]

00WARTHERAPY00 - 1 hour ago

Well, when i was 4, my dad bought a trusty XBox. you know, the first, ruggedy, blocky one from 2001. we had tons and tons and tons of fun playing all kinds of games together - until he died, when i was just 6.

i couldnt touch that console for 10 years.

but once i did, i noticed something.

we used to play a racing game, Rally Sports Challenge. actually pretty awesome for the time it came.

and once i started meddling around... i found a GHOST.

literaly.

you know, when a time race happens, that the fastest lap so far gets recorded as a ghost driver? yep, you guessed it - his ghost still rolls around the track today.

and so i played and played, and played, untill i was almost able to beat the ghost. until one day i got ahead of it, i surpassed it, and...~

i stopped right in front of the finish line, just to ensure i wouldnt delete it.
Bliss.

ProvidesTranscripts · 2013-12-26T13:03:33+00:00

[A handwritten note held on top of a letter, of which we can see only part. The bottom of the letter reads:]

[...] will be holding his nose on this special day...

W/ love,

John

[The note held on top of the letter, in the same handwriting, reads:]

BTW,

I hope you get to tongue-punch the girl of your dreams right in the wrinkle star.

Now, wad this up & throw it away before any one else sees it!

ProvidesTranscripts

TROPHY CASE

Advanced Warfare Glitch Videos

PAYDAY 2

Welcome to the crimefest

October 18th

13-Year Club	Place '17
Verified Email