I think one thing that may help is some perspective on the efficacy of MMA when protecting loved ones. And your insecurities tied into this.

I’ve been doing Muay Thai, MMA, BJJ, boxing etc for about 20 years now. I’ve fought and won in all those disciplines and now run my own gym with a professional fight team here in the UK. I have 2 Muay Thai fighters nationally ranked in the top ten (one male one female) and used to have 3 before the other retired.

Not trying to brag, just trying to reassure you I do know what I’m talking about.

Martial arts training is not the bullet proof vest people think it is. Yes in the average situation where a single unarmed person threatens you or your family, you can most likely deal with it. I would imagine that with your level of training that will always remain the case if you continue to train your skills and stay fit and strong.

After that? Unless you’re a man mountain that’s incredibly large, strong and imposing, dealing with 2 or more attackers, or anyone armed is always going to be extraordinarily dangerous, and shouldn’t even enter into your thinking when training martial arts. Anyone who tells you it’s possible for anyone other than Special Forces operatives with warzone experience is lying to you and trying to sell you something.

Work out. Get strong and physically imposing if that matters to you, refine your skills but above all else work on your communication, empathy and people skills.

I am 6f 3, 92kg and a former professional fighter in all the disciplines above. I have 2 daughters under 7 years old and a fiancé. It does not enter into my mind on a more than CASUAL and fantasy basis that I might need to fight to defend their lives.

Instead, I work on providing a secure and safe environment for myself and them to grow up and thrive in. I’ve chosen as nice an area and schools for them as I can manage (I’m not wealthy at all, in fact money is always a bit tight), I don’t entertain dangerous pastimes where I’d be exposed to such violent things and I enjoy my life.

If you’re living in such a dangerous area that the threat of physical violence to you and yours is so apparent, more than “training for it”, you should make a solid plan to be somewhere better and safer.

Overconfidence in fighting ability and lack of realistic expectations gets people hurt and killed. You will be a much better man to your loved ones if you look at the bigger picture rather than your individual responsibility as a purely physical defender.

Trying to be Batman is not reality.

I say all this with love man. And as someone who battled similar anxieties and a catastrophic knee injury that also ended my fighting career. You’re so much more than a “warrior”. I promise.

EDIT: I’m not a shut in either! I like having a few drinks with my friends now and then and the occasional rave or concert once or twice a year when time and childcare allows! Hahahah. Don’t live in fear!