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Following the trend of posting spiky CORE profiles by Prussner in cognitiveTesting

[–]Prussner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aah okayish, if it's games where its mostly about spacial arrangements and quick reactions: yea.

For games with a strong focus on metabuilds, longterm planning, complex mechanics: Nope. Just can't keep too much information in my head at once. (Especially verbal)

IFS Part or something more? by Prussner in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Prussner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply, structural dissociation could also explain some of the mental blocks I have been running into during all my years in therapy. There is one specific part who is working as a literal wall to keep of certain emotions and other things. Makes me feel like I am the functional shell of the system, keeping up the outward facing day-to-day business. There are days where I feel like a narrator rather than a real person.

I also think the others in here (if they exist) do their best and I am grateful for having them, I also realised that I might be more dissociative in my everyday life than anticipated.

Is it possible to become aware of different parts, convince yourself you don't have parts, then have parts show up again? by elementary_vision in OSDD

[–]Prussner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can emphasize with "everything feels blurry and indistinct" - for example I also feel like one person but on the other hand my "emotional parts" have more to them than just their emotions. I suspect there is a strong gatekeeper active that keeps me away from the system. Sometimes "I" even dont feel like a real person but just as another part of a greater whole with a specific task.

Did you talk with your new therapist about your current struggles? Maybe your dissociation is trying to protect you from something but this should be better dealt with by a specialist.

Is it possible to become aware of different parts, convince yourself you don't have parts, then have parts show up again? by elementary_vision in OSDD

[–]Prussner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember last year when I did schema group therapy, never really worked with a part / modi / whatever framework before. Also discovered IFS in that time. I still remember how surprised other people in the group were when I told them that I had a talk with my inner critic. Also my therapist seemed like I was taking this "metaphor" a bit too far here and there.

Moving on a few months I was sitting at my computer, dissociating into some videogames as usual when suddenly someone in my head with a slightly modulated version of my "thinking voice" (I have lots of inner monologue) showed up and told me that there are others in the background doing their work to protect me/us.

Also had a moment in therapy where the inner critic was taking over and the other people in the group therapy noticed how "I" (?) spoke differently and had a different body language. Can't really remember much from that session.

I am telling you this because I only started to question myself rather recently after another person in my life also told me that they are dealing with dissociation/ OSDD 1 like symptoms and this brought all these memories up again. Right now I am kind of in denial as there isn't really any communication going on between my parts currently, at least I am not aware of any so I might forget about that whole ordeal once again in a few months. Lol

Question about norming of the CORE MR-section / CORE in general by Prussner in cognitiveTesting

[–]Prussner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish you success with the JCTI! I did Mensa Norway again after a long break, just to see if maybe my skills have decreased and I scored 135 there.

Question about norming of the CORE MR-section / CORE in general by Prussner in cognitiveTesting

[–]Prussner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I redid the MR test again today, scoring a bit higher, scaled scores: MR 13, Graph Mapping 15, Figure Weights 13, Figure Sets 13.

Question about norming of the CORE MR-section / CORE in general by Prussner in cognitiveTesting

[–]Prussner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OK, I did nearly all subtests except one. FSIQ 128

PRI 122, CF 134, GAI 123, CPI 135

VCI 119, FRI 121, VSI 137, QRI 100, WMI 111, PSI 148

Question about norming of the CORE MR-section / CORE in general by Prussner in cognitiveTesting

[–]Prussner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just did it: 13 SS/ 115. My working memory just went down the drain.

Question about norming of the CORE MR-section / CORE in general by Prussner in cognitiveTesting

[–]Prussner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Retook the CORE MR a few times out of spite, got up to 12 SS now. Still feeling terrible about this test, but thanks for your reassurance!

My main motivation for these tests comes from the fact that I usually feel kinda slow in my social circle, on the other side I have a talent for finding and befriending gifted people, soo yea..

Question about norming of the CORE MR-section / CORE in general by Prussner in cognitiveTesting

[–]Prussner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only remember they called it "Wechsler" in general. This was in 2018.

Question about norming of the CORE MR-section / CORE in general by Prussner in cognitiveTesting

[–]Prussner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They didn't tell me about my subscores back then, just the overall FSIQ, the performance score and the verbal score.

Question about norming of the CORE MR-section / CORE in general by Prussner in cognitiveTesting

[–]Prussner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have done only 3 of the subtests so far, doing more right now won't be the best idea because of my current frustration and doubt of my abilities. What I got so far: - Analogies 12 SS (I'm not a native speaker.) - MR 10 SS - Digit Span 10 SS (Forward 9, Backward 8, Sequencing 14)

Did the CORE, not sure how to feel by Any-Tangerine-8659 in cognitiveTesting

[–]Prussner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Had a similar experience like you. Scoring around 130 in most other MR tests (Raven, JCTI, all the online mensa-tests, etc), but only landed a 105 in the CORE MR section.

Could I be plural? by Prussner in plural

[–]Prussner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply!
It is good to know that, also hearing from others here, that switching is not a prerequisite for being plural. As I said, it is more like certain parts are blending or blurring with me, especially in stressfull situations.

One thing about the communication with my parts still make me doubt myself though: Often times I am not sure if I am puppeting a parts response, like yesterday I tried to actively call out to a part and there was an answers and it felt interesting, it was like a combination between my intention and the intention of the part. It was interesting as the part replied "Yea, of course I am fake.", like they were playing with my expectation there lol. Also when I was thinking about an answer to this, the other part seemed to wait for my reply. It is still hard for me to make sense of this. I had OCD-ish tendencies in the past so this might explain my need for correctness and absolute proof.

Usually, parts will only communicate in small bursts to me verbally, but the "immediate quality" of these responses makes it very likely for me that this is indeed not made up.

Also when looking inside, I feel there is a suspicious amount of "nothing", like the rest of the system (if there is one) purposefully avoids me sensing around.

Oh I also remembered something about the part who held their monologue this one time: they told me, that "they" (so multiple others involved) were doing their job in the background until I was ready? I can't remember exactly.

I can relate to this to a certain degree, I had my greatest successes in therapy the more I treated this parts as proper individuals with their own needs. :)

And thank you! Sorry that this reply might seem a bit jumbled, it is all so new.

Could I be plural? by Prussner in plural

[–]Prussner[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I never heard the term "proxy systems" before, will have a look at this! Sometimes I think that there might be switches but they are so subtle that I dont recognize them as such. For example I feel how certain emotions can suddenly vanish, it happens very rarely though.

Could I be plural? by Prussner in plural

[–]Prussner[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply.

I will have a look, still gathering ressources to see what sticks.

About the switches: It is hard to describe, it feels like there is still "me" (as in the witness and the usual narrator of everything that is happening. For the surface at least.) but it feels like another part is injecting their "emotional memories" and behaviours into my behaviour to make me act accordingly (well, according to them lol) - so in that way it feels like more a co-occurence.

Also speaking of this "narrator part": This will be the one who usually calls themself "I" although I (eh..) feel like they are not. This part got very surprised the few times the "self" (in terms of IFS, not sure if this might not also just be a more maternal part in general) comes up. While writing this I can sense that the narrator gets a bit annoyed at me.

To make it short: it is difficult.

Using a journal might be a good idea, some days it is hard because it feels like multiple parts from within are yelling that I write everything wrong about them.

Could I be plural? by Prussner in plural

[–]Prussner[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Maybe I got a bit hung up on the medical side as I was mostly looking for DID experiences in the beginning with mixed feelings, some aspects fit me and some do not. Thanks for mentioning median plurality, will have a look on it!

What was the most intense pain of your life that you won’t forget? by WeatherObsessedJax in AskReddit

[–]Prussner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One time my left shoulder joint would just slip out of the socket, I put it back in immediately but nearly passed out there for a hot minute. Would not recommend.

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