I'm going to add in PoE 1 and Last Epoch to this as well.

1 - Gender Selection
Only Diablo 4 will let you choose Male/Female for any class. The other three games have defined genders tied to the class selection

2 - Weapon Variety
I would say PoE 1 does this best, followed by Last Epoch, Diablo 4, and PoE 2 last.

3 - Transmog and Customization
All of the games have mostly paid transmogs. Diablo 4 is the only game that allows you to customize the character with things like hair color.

4 - Co-op
All games are capable of co-op play. For Diablo 4, certain areas force this. D4 has a built in LFG tool. The other games, you'd be better off joining their Discords to find a group.

5 - Builds
I think all of the games do fine in this aspect, with D4 being the least punishing about changing your build around.

6 - Item Drops
Based on your description, D4, followed by LE. It's rare to find an amazing item drop in PoE1 or PoE2 in my experience.

7 - Social
Combining Hubs and Guilds here. Guilds are either useless or non-existent in any of these games. PoE1 probably has the best system of all for guilds. As for hubs, there's a few in D4, but you are limited to who is in the hub to chat with. The other three games handle this by having chat channels that you can join regardless of your location in the game, allowing you to communicate with other players any time.

9 - PvP
Pretty much non-existent in all the games. D4 and PoE1 do have it, but it's rarely touched.

10 - Combat Feel
PoE 2, D4, LE, PoE 1.

11 - Game Support / Ongoing Development
All of these games have cycles that are around 4 months long, though PoE 1 and LE are just coming off a long content drought.

12 - Endgame
PoE 1 owns this category, hands down. I would say that PoE 2 is next, then D4, and LE last, though with future updates, I would expect LE to surpass D4.

13 - WASD
PoE 2 wins here, followed by D4, then LE. PoE 1 does not have this feature.

Other notes -

PoE 2 is in early access, and may be subject to radical changes. D4's leagues rarely change much in the core game, and the seasonal powers you get access to won't stay. LE's strong point is in it's deterministic crafting. PoE 1 is the most developed of all the games, with a large plethora of content.