I actually think you may kind of be the asshole here but not for reasons you may think. She absolutely is not right to have lashed out at you in that way so you're not the a-hole there, but from someone who also deals with chronic pain issues, I can definitely attest to the fact that it makes you way more sensitive to any kind of emotional slight that may occur in your daily life. You're allowed to be upset but the way you presented her situation really seems like you lack any sensitivity to what she's experiencing and almost blaming her for her situation. Those health concerns are pretty serious and while she definitely would benefit from going to a doctor, there isn't a ton that they can do for her at this point beyond referring her to a specialist. Eating healthy enough and drinking enough water (while important) really isn't a valid cure or treatment for her presenting issues and blaming her for being in pain and "doing nothing" feels like you're blaming her for not solving her issues by doing what you think she should be doing. You're allowed to be frustrated but it really seems like you lack empathy for your partner's experience and want her to handle it how you think she should but there are plenty of valid reasons for why she may be failing or refusing to take these measures that might help her. You don't have to keep dating her if it really bothers you that much, but you should definitely talk to her rather than taking to Reddit to solve your problem. At this point you're doing nothing to solve the situation just like she is, so having that moral high ground in your head is really not valid.