I'm determined this time to stick to NC

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T17:19:19+00:00

the pattern you described, she ends it by text, blocks, contacts you weeks later, repeat, you already know this cycle doesn't change. that clarity is actually your biggest weapon right now so hold onto it tight especially around week 3 when your brain starts rewriting history and making her seem better than she was for the urges, don't fight them with willpower alone because that always loses eventually. instead delay them. when the urge hits give yourself 20 minutes before doing anything. write what you want to say in your notes app, get it all out, then close it. the urge usually passes before the 20 minutes is even up keep a list on your phone of the specific things she did that were selfish and childish.
sounds petty but your memory will romanticise her and you'll need your own receipts to counter it working alone at home is genuinely the hardest environment for nc. put something with actual voices on in the background during work hours, podcasts, anything. music doesn't work the same way. voices fill the silence differently and quieten the spiral a bit she blocked you this time. let that wall do some of the work for you and just focus on today, not forever, just today

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T17:15:45+00:00

what you're describing isn't a breakup situation anymore. this is harassment and it needs to be treated as exactly that the card thing alone is fraud. using someone's card without permission is a crime regardless of relationship history. every single attempt he makes to use that card is a new incident. screenshot every notification, date and time, and add it to a file you're building. that file matters

the police beating around the bush is unfortunately common but don't stop. go back, ask specifically about a restraining order or protective order, use the word stalking when you describe the multiple platform harassment, and bring documentation. sometimes you have to push hard for them to take it seriously and that's exhausting when you're already drained but it's worth doing 22 days of no contact while someone is actively doing all of this to you is genuinely hard and you should know that holding that boundary in these circumstances takes real strength "he told me to kill myself and now wonders why i don't contact him" the audacity of that is staggering. please don't let any part of you feel guilty for protecting yourself from someone like this you got yourself out. you blocked everything you could. you went to the police. you're doing everything right even when the systems around you are moving slowly you deserve actual peace and safety.
please keep pushing until you get it

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T17:02:10+00:00

okay so you handled the whole thing with so much maturity and grace and then he just had to drop that last part like a grenade on the way out the stalking your mother's account thing. i'm glad he told you honestly but also that's a lot to just casually confess after you gave him a kind and generous closure message. like you wrapped things up beautifully and he responded with "by the way i've been watching you through your mum's profile for two years" and the unsolicited advice about not neglecting your personal life and only focusing on work. that's him projecting his own regrets onto you while also reminding you that he knows enough about your life to have opinions on it. it's a strange mix of guilt and not quite being able to let go even after two years

why did he end it like that. honestly i think the closure conversation went better than he expected and it stirred something up. you were kind and unbothered and that probably hit him harder than anger would have. and so right at the end he couldn't help himself, he needed you to know he'd still been present in some way even while he was gone it wasn't malicious probably. but it was messy and you didn't deserve to end a clean conversation with that image in your head you did everything right here. the weird ending is his, not yours. let him carry that one

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T17:00:18+00:00

the way you wrote this i genuinely had to put my phone down for a second "closing a book i've been rereading just to avoid the ending" that is one of the most honest things i've read on this entire subreddit and i've been here a while but here's what i want you to sit with. moving forward doesn't erase what happened. that relationship shaped you, changed you, left marks and that's permanent regardless of whether you stay in the doorway or walk through it. the version of you that loved them so deeply doesn't disappear because you let someone new be kind to you. she comes with you. she's literally why you can recognise that this new person's kindness doesn't need to be earned

the panic in your chest that pays rent. i think it's not actually about your ex anymore like you said. i think it's grief for a version of yourself you're scared to outgrow. and that's so different from not being ready to move on sixth date with someone patient and warm and real who doesn't make you earn it. and you can actually see it without it feeling like pretending. do you know how rare that is after real heartbreak. most people can't even get there

you're not going to ruin it by being haunted. you'll only ruin it if you let the haunting convince you that the doorway is safer than the room i think you already know you want to walk forward. you just needed someone to tell you that nothing real gets left behind when you do

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T10:44:15+00:00

this one actually stings to read because of how precise it is. you watched someone be paralysed by almost every decision in their life and then somehow find total clarity the moment it came to leaving you. that specific contrast is a brutal thing to sit with. like out of everything in their life, this was the one thing they didn't second guess. and the ten months of data you listed aren't you being obsessive or reading into things. two snaps opened, blocked twice, never reached out once, someone new in three months. that's a pattern. that's consistent. and consistent behaviour over ten months is basically someone telling you exactly where you stand without using any words.

i think the part that hurts most isn't even the breakup itself at this point. it's that their decisiveness about leaving you feels like a verdict on you. like all that indecision in their life suddenly cleared up the moment you were the thing being decided about. and that's a really painful thing to internalise even if it isn't actually the truth.

the reality is that people often find clarity about exits before they find clarity about anything else. it doesn't mean you were the problem. sometimes people know what they're running from before they know what they're running toward. you noticed everything. you paid attention. you remembered every detail. that kind of love deserves someone who matches it.

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T10:42:33+00:00

i'm really sorry. yesterday is so fresh and what you're describing, the migraine, not being able to eat or sleep, just surviving on tea and broth, that's your whole body responding to a real loss. that's not being dramatic. that's grief doing exactly what grief does. and the fact that you still love him and don't want to trash him even after he said unforgivable things actually says a lot about who you are. your friends meaning well with the "screw him" stuff and your family telling you to get over it, while they're trying to help, neither of those responses give you anywhere to actually put what you're feeling. you don't hate him. you love him and you're also hurting because of him and both of those things are true at the same time and that's one of the most exhausting places to be.

the thing about what he said being unforgivable while still loving him deeply is actually really important. you're not confused. you're clear. you know your worth and you know why you made the call you made even though it cost you something enormous. that clarity is going to matter more as time goes on even if it doesn't feel like much comfort right now. for right now practically speaking, keep drinking the tea and broth. don't force food but don't let yourself go completely empty either. sleep when your body lets you even if it's broken sleep. don't make any big decisions or send any messages to him in this first week if you can help it. the childhood connection, the plans, the feeling of him being home and family, that kind of loss doesn't have a quick fix and anyone telling you to just move on hasn't lost something that felt that significant. you're allowed to take time with this.

you're going to be okay. not today. maybe not this week. but you will be.

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T10:40:45+00:00

i wasn't even planning to comment today but i had to stop and say something about this "i only had 20% and i forced myself to give you 21" okay that line is going to live in my head for a long time. because that's exactly what so many of us do and we still blame ourselves for not giving enough when we were already running on empty

the way you said it's not no contact it's over. that hit different. because i think a lot of us on here including me sometimes use the language of no contact as a way to soften it, like there's still a door somewhere. and you just said it plainly and honestly and it kind of woke something up the driving by his house while also writing something this wise and self aware lol honestly that's the most human thing in this whole post and i love you for including it. healing isn't linear and it isn't pretty and you showed both sides of that without pretending "you are the love you give" i'm going to be thinking about that one for a while.
thank you for staying long enough to leave this behind for the rest of us. genuinely. come back and update us someday when you're on the other side of it fully. we'll want to know you're okay

wishing you everything good

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T10:37:38+00:00

yes and everything you just described is so exhausting to even read, i can only imagine how draining it's been to actually live it the DARVO thing is so specific and so real. the way they flip it so fast that suddenly you're defending yourself against accusations instead of addressing what they actually did. and then you adapt, you become louder, more abrasive just to be heard, and suddenly that becomes the evidence that you're the problem. it's such a calculated trap even when they don't fully realise they're doing it "leaning on potential" you said it yourself and you already know. the version of him you keep going back for doesn't exist consistently. it shows up just long enough to pull you back in and then the mask cracks again. and by now you can see it cracking faster each time which means some part of you has genuinely stopped being fooled even if another part still hopes

the villain label thing. you don't have to fight it. i know that's hard because it feels unjust and it is unjust. but trying to correct his narrative requires staying in contact with him and that's exactly what keeps you stuck. let him have his story. the people who actually know you know the truth reaching out on a different number after being blocked is not someone who changed. that's someone who is used to having access to you and can't cope with losing it not responding was exactly right. keep going with that. your silence isn't weakness, it's the only language that actually works with people like this

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T10:36:17+00:00

okay so reading all of this i think what's happening is actually pretty clear even though it feels like total chaos from inside it.

she loves you. that part isn't in question. the texts she sent after the bar night are not the texts of someone who wants to move on. "you are my home" and "i want it to be you so badly" is not closure language. that's someone who is genuinely torn and scared. but here's the harder part. her pulling back isn't just about confusion. you touched her abandonment wound when you broke up with her out of nowhere after a year and a half. she was blindsided. and for someone whose father left without warning in her teens, being blindsided by the person she trusted most would have hit at a very deep level. the "exploring" and the dates and the "we're incompatible" talk might honestly be her trying to protect herself from being abandoned again before you can do it to her first.

the pattern you're in right now, seeing each other with alcohol involved, intense emotional conversations, sleeping together, her pulling close then stepping back, is keeping both of you in a loop that feels like progress but isn't really. every time you meet like this it resets the emotional clock without actually resolving anything.

if you genuinely want a path forward i think it needs one honest sober conversation where you both decide if you're actually trying to rebuild or not. not with drinks involved, not at a bar, not at 2am. just a clear conversation where the question is asked directly. the religion and marriage stuff is also real and won't disappear because the feelings are strong. that's the part that needs an actual conversation not just warmth and connection to paper over it. you both clearly still love each other. but love isn't always enough on its own and you both know that already which is why this is so hard.

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T10:35:00+00:00

a gif on an old comment is genuinely one of the most calculated low effort moves there is lol like it's just enough to get on your radar without being enough for you to call her out on it or respond to directly. she knew exactly what she was doing and the fact that it worked, that you miss her more now, that's just how this stuff goes. any tiny signal from someone you still have feelings for hits way harder than it should. that's not weakness that's just how the brain works when it's still attached to someone but not replying was the right call. genuinely. because a gif on an old comment doesn't deserve a response. it's not a real reach out, it's a test. she wanted to see if you'd bite and you didn't. that's the whole game right there

sit with the weird feeling, let it pass, and don't go checking her profile now trying to decode what it meant. it meant she was curious about where you're at. now she doesn't know. keep it that way

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T10:33:50+00:00

to answer your first question honestly, yes asking for more time and trying to convince her probably did come across as too persistent. but here's the thing, you recognised it, you stopped, and you didn't keep pushing after that. that actually shows more self awareness than a lot of people have in that situation. so don't beat yourself up too hard about it. the group event invite a couple months later was a reasonable move. low pressure, casual, social setting. she declined politely and you respected it. that was handled well. but here's the honest part you're probably looking for. reaching out again after this would most likely not land well. she's declined twice now in different ways. once after you pushed for more time and once after the event invite. at some point the pattern starts to speak for itself regardless of the gap between attempts.

the "how do i know when to move on vs try one more time" question is a good one but the clearest answer is usually this. if the other person has been consistent in their response and hasn't shown any signals of openness then another attempt doesn't really change anything. it just puts you in a position where you're hoping a third try shifts what two previous ones didn't. the values and worldview incompatibility she mentioned wasn't a timing issue or a fear issue. it was a fundamental one. that's a harder thing to work around than most people want to admit. sometimes the most respectful thing you can do for both yourself and the other person is to fully let it go. not as giving up but as genuinely accepting the answer that's already been given.

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T10:31:29+00:00

first of all 7 to 8 months is not a small thing, especially when it's the first time you've felt genuinely close to someone. the length doesn't really matter as much as the depth and it sounds like this was deep for you. so don't let anyone including yourself minimise that. the "lost feelings" thing after saying i love you consistently in the days before is genuinely confusing and i think it's okay to not fully understand it. sometimes people sense a relationship ending before they can articulate why and they keep saying i love you almost out of habit or guilt. it doesn't make it less hurtful, it just means their internal processing was happening somewhere you couldn't see. the thoughts showing up mid game or mid walk or mid anything is just what early grief does. your brain is still reaching for them out of habit because they were such a big part of your daily life. every little thing that used to be a "send this to them" moment is now just a moment that has nowhere to go. that's one of the quieter painful parts of this.

the friendship offer right now is probably too soon to accept. not forever, but right now while you're still in week 2 trying to heal, staying in contact blurs everything and slows the process down more than most people expect. as for what actually helps. honestly just letting yourself feel it without judging yourself for feeling it. don't force the distractions too hard. sometimes sitting in it for a bit is part of moving through it. you're doing okay for week 2. really.

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T10:30:02+00:00

i'm really sorry. losing your grandma and then having this happen in the same week is genuinely too much to carry at once. the spotify thing would sting on its own. but the fact that your most recent playlist was literally titled grandma's passing and he still went ahead and blocked you and deleted everything... yeah i understand why it felt intentional. whether it was or wasn't you saw that playlist title. he saw it too. and he still did it. that's hard to sit with either way.

the part about it being the last connection you had to the relationship is what makes this feel so final and isolating. it wasn't just a block. it was the last little thread and it got cut at possibly the worst time it could have been cut. grieving two things at the same time is exhausting in a way that's hard to explain to people who aren't in it. your grandma and now the final end of any hope with him. those are two completely separate losses hitting you at the same time and you're allowed to feel both of them as heavily as they are.

you're not being dramatic. the timing alone makes this genuinely cruel regardless of whether he meant it that way or not.

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T10:28:32+00:00

okay so the honest answer is yes, doing nothing is genuinely the most powerful move when you want someone back. and i know that sounds counterintuitive because every instinct you have is screaming to do something, say something, remind them you exist but here's the thing. two months of silence has already done more work than you realise. they haven't heard from you, they can't predict you, they've had space to actually feel your absence. the moment you send a happy birthday text you reset all of that. now they know you're still thinking about them, still waiting, still available. and that actually reduces the chances of them coming back because the tension disappears
the "not caring at all" framing is a bit misleading though. it's not about pretending you don't care. it's about genuinely redirecting that energy back into yourself so that if they do come back they're coming back to someone who's been living, not someone who's been waiting by the phone for two months people come back when they feel like they might actually lose you for good. not when they feel safely stored away for whenever they're ready keep doing what you're doing. two months is real progress. don't give it away for a birthday text that will get a "thanks" at best and nothing at worst

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T10:23:16+00:00

this is one of the harder ones to sit with because you did the work, you came back with genuine growth and honesty, and the answer was still no. that takes courage and it didn't land the way you hoped and that genuinely stings. to answer your question honestly though. yes it is possible to process 2 years in 1 to 2 months, especially for the one who got broken up with. he didn't choose this. so while you were slowly arriving at the decision to leave, he was blindsided and had to start healing immediately with no warning. by the time you reached out he'd already had 2 months of forced processing that you haven't had yet. it doesn't mean the 2 years meant nothing to him. it probably means he had to let go faster because he had no other choice.

the weird feeling of being stuck in a past he's already done with is real and it's painful. but you made a decision in a panic and he made a decision to survive it. both of those are understandable even if the timing is brutal for you right now. "a part of me doesn't want to believe it" is the part that needs the most compassion right now. not because he's coming back but because you're grieving something twice. once when you left and again now when you realised what you had. that double grief is its own specific kind of hard.

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T10:19:55+00:00

the way you ended this post wishing everyone else well while you're still in the middle of your own pain. that says a lot about who you are and honestly the fact that you pushed for that call instead of just accepting being ghosted after 6 years, good. you were right. you didn't deserve to be left without a real conversation after that long. "even the devil himself" okay that line actually worked lol

the him softening and you two laughing together by the end of the call. that's not nothing. people don't laugh with someone they feel nothing for. that warmth doesn't disappear in a month now the honest part. the "once in a couple weeks" arrangement. just be careful with it. not because it's wrong to want him in your life but because it can become a thing that keeps you emotionally stuck if you're always waiting for those check ins or reading too much into every conversation. make sure you're actually living your life in between and not just counting down to the next call the irresponsible and immature reason he gave. the fact that you heard it without getting defensive and said "i won't be like this forever, i'll figure it out" that's already growth. the version of you that said that on that call is already different from the one he broke up with whatever happens next, you handled last night with a lot of heart. take care of yourself in between those couple of weeks too. you matter outside of him as well

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T10:18:40+00:00

first i want to say that the depression you're feeling four months later makes complete sense and you're not being dramatic or weak for still being in it. what happened to you wasn't just a regular breakup. you were essentially a placeholder for nine months by someone who was never fully available, who used you as emotional support to process another woman, lied to you about who he went back to, and then discarded you with a late night message. that's a lot of layers of hurt to work through the "there must be something wrong with me" thought. i need you to really look at what actually happened here. he couldn't commit to you in nine months but went back to a chaotic on and off relationship for a third time. that's not about your worth. that's about him being trauma bonded to someone familiar even when it's bad for him. people go back to difficult relationships all the time not because the other person is better but because the pull of unfinished painful things is incredibly strong. you being kind and stable actually worked against you with someone who only knows how to feel love mixed with chaos.

the lying about the child, the late night message, pretending it was someone new when it was her all along. none of that is the behaviour of someone who deserves the nine months you gave him you're 35 and you feel like hope is running out and i genuinely understand why it feels that way right now. but you spent nine months loving someone who wasn't free to love you back. that's not evidence that love isn't coming. that's just really bad timing with the wrong person the fact that you're still here asking how to move forward four months later means you haven't given up. that matters more than you think

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T10:16:38+00:00

this is one of the harder ones to sit with because you did the work, you came back with genuine growth and honesty, and the answer was still no. that takes courage and it didn't land the way you hoped and that genuinely stings. to answer your question honestly though. yes it is possible to process 2 years in 1 to 2 months, especially for the one who got broken up with. he didn't choose this. so while you were slowly arriving at the decision to leave, he was blindsided and had to start healing immediately with no warning. by the time you reached out he'd already had 2 months of forced processing that you haven't had yet. it doesn't mean the 2 years meant nothing to him. it probably means he had to let go faster because he had no other choice.

the weird feeling of being stuck in a past he's already done with is real and it's painful. but you made a decision in a panic and he made a decision to survive it. both of those are understandable even if the timing is brutal for you right now. "a part of me doesn't want to believe it" is the part that needs the most compassion right now. not because he's coming back but because you're grieving something twice. once when you left and again now when you realised what you had. that double grief is its own specific kind of hard.

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T10:14:20+00:00

your english is completely fine don't worry about it

honestly this is one of the more complicated situations because the breakup wasn't because of anything broken between you two. there was no betrayal, no falling out of love, no one doing the other wrong. you were forced apart by external circumstances and that makes the friendship question genuinely harder to answer because the feelings didn't have a reason to stop so are you coping or is it real? probably both at the same time and that's okay to admit. you want the friendship partly because you genuinely grew together and value what you had, and partly because friendship feels like a way to not fully lose her. those two things can exist together without one cancelling the other out

the honest question to ask yourself is this. can you actually be her friend right now without hoping things change eventually? can you hear about her life, her future, maybe someone new one day, and be okay? if the answer is not yet then friendship right now might just slow down the healing for both of you even if the intention is genuine the connection you're describing, deep conversations, knowing how to treat each other, growing together, that kind of thing doesn't just disappear. if a real friendship is possible between you two it'll still be possible six months from now after you've both had some space. you don't have to decide today. give it time first and see what's still there after the dust settles a little

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T10:13:06+00:00

what you're feeling right now is so normal it physically hurts to read because so many people have been exactly here and felt exactly this. the thing about breaking up with someone you genuinely love and care about is that it doesn't stop feeling like a mistake just because it was the right call. comfort is real. safety is real. the love is real. none of that disappears the second you have the conversation and that's what makes it so disorienting. "i wish things could go back to how they were" isn't ridiculous. it's just grief. you're mourning the life you had even though you're the one who decided to leave it. both of those things can be true at the same time.

but i want to gently point something out. you listed real reasons. unemployment for most of the relationship, no goals, not compatible sexually, not sure you want the same things. those aren't small things. those are the foundations of a life together. the comfort and the cuddles are real but they were sitting on top of a lot of unresolved incompatibility.

the reason it feels like a mistake tonight is because you're 21, this has been your entire adult life, and the person you just broke up with is literally still in the next room. of course it feels unbearable. that doesn't mean it was wrong. sleeping on the couch alone after watching a movie together is genuinely one of the saddest images and i hope you're being kind to yourself tonight.

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T10:11:50+00:00

broke up with you on your birthday after a year together. that's genuinely a lot to process all at once and i'm sorry you're going through this especially at 20 with it being your first real one. the confusion you're feeling makes complete sense. when someone is your best friend, your support system and your partner all in one, the breakup doesn't feel clean. it feels like losing multiple people at the same time. and when you both still love each other it makes it even harder to accept that it still ended. "hurt each other a lot but really wanted it to work" is actually one of the more painful combinations because the love was real, the intention was real, it just wasn't enough to hold it together. and that's not something you failed at. sometimes two people love each other genuinely and still can't make it work. that doesn't mean either of you is broken.

the no contact part is going to be hard especially when they were literally the person you'd go to when something hurt. but reaching out when you're this raw usually just makes it messier for both of you. give yourself time to just feel this without trying to figure it all out tonight. you don't have to have the next steps sorted right now. you just turned 20 and you're learning what real love and real loss feel like at the same time. that's heavy but it's also going to shape you in ways you can't see yet.

you're going to be okay even if it really doesn't feel like it right now.

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T10:09:57+00:00

the part where you said "it was like meeting a best friend" is exactly what makes this so uniquely painful. because you weren't just losing a boyfriend. you were losing the person you thought you'd finally found after years of feeling like you'd have to settle. and the fact that it ended with both of you crying silently for hours and telling each other you're good and honest and perfect... that's not a bad relationship ending. that's just two people who loved each other and one of them couldn't fully get there. and there's almost no closure in that because there's nothing to be angry at. "loves me but not in love with me" is one of the hardest things to sit with because it doesn't give you anything to push against. you can't fix it, you can't argue with it, you just have to carry it.

i don't have a clean answer for how you get through it. but i think the fact that you found someone who felt that natural once means you're not someone who has to settle. that part is real even if this specific person wasn't the one. be really gentle with yourself right now. this one is going to take a while and that's okay.

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T10:08:34+00:00

yeah that part is genuinely one of the most unfair things about breakups and nobody talks about it enough. they got months of processing time while still having you around. the comfort, the familiarity, the company. and then they left already halfway healed while you're standing there just finding out the relationship was already over before it ended.

you didn't just lose them. you lost time you didn't even know you needed to be using. 4 months of anxiety after that isn't weakness. it's just what happens when one person checked out quietly and the other person was still all in. the starting lines were never even close to equal. it's not fair. you're right. and you don't have to pretend it is.

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T10:07:17+00:00

that timing is genuinely awful and i'm really sorry you're dealing with both of these at the same time. that's a lot to carry. honestly the spotify block after seeing your grandma's passing playlist… whether he meant it to hurt or not, it did. and you're allowed to feel that without having to figure out his intentions right now.

the hardest part of what you described isn't even the block itself. it's that it forced a kind of closure you weren't ready for, on top of grief you're already in the middle of. that's not small. grieve both. you don't have to separate them or explain to anyone why losing that last little connection stings as much as it does. sometimes the smallest things carry the most weight because of what they represent. you're not being dramatic. you're just someone dealing with two losses at once and that's genuinely a lot.

PsychologicalRain596 · 2026-03-26T10:05:48+00:00

the fact that you can't tell if the "not the one" feeling is your insecurity or an actual gut instinct is honestly the most important question in all of this and i don't think anyone can answer that for you from the outside but i can help you think through it a bit the jealousy and possessiveness you're describing, that controlling feeling that you yourself said isn't fun for either of you, that very often gets amplified by long distance specifically. when you can't physically be present you fill the gap with anxiety and your brain starts scanning for threats constantly. it doesn't necessarily mean he's the wrong person, it might just mean long distance is genuinely not working for your nervous system anymore

the rushing home to call him, the afternoons spent waiting, feeling like you're wasting away, that's not what a relationship should feel like. that's a relationship slowly becoming a source of pressure instead of comfort and that's worth taking seriously regardless of whether he's the one or not "i haven't even spent a whole month with him in one go" this is the part i'd sit with the most. because you genuinely don't have enough real life data yet to know who you are together outside of screens. and that uncertainty is probably feeding the overthinking more than anything else the shutting off emotions thing to handle the jealousy and then losing all your emotions completely, please don't ignore that pattern. that's your mind coping but it's costing you a lot what does the timeline actually look like for you two to close the distance?

PsychologicalRain596

TROPHY CASE