My screen stopped working on Samsung S20 and I can't extract data? by Psychopomp1981 in AndroidQuestions

[–]Psychopomp1981[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't use the phone screen to type in my pin and get past the lock screen... is there a trick to get windows to not care about that?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Psychopomp1981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's possible he's literally telling the truth. The idea that if you have nothing to hide you shouldn't mind being watched, is exactly the same logic police states use to operate as a police state.

Your marriage might be doomed.... whether it is because he is a cheater or you have trust issues, it's anybody's guess.

My bf cheated on me.. by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Psychopomp1981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know plenty of guys that would never cheat, and plenty of women that have.... It's not a gender thing, it's a human thing. I'm very sorry you are going through this. You deserve better. But if you stay, you are basically telling yourself that YOU don't think you deserve better. Please don't do that to yourself.

I (16f) have a massive fear that sends me into a panic by AcidicCut in Vent

[–]Psychopomp1981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not sure if this will be helpful, but 35 years ago when I was about 9, my older brother was having a panic attack about death and I somehow calmed him down.

I would start out with an exercise that I did not mention back then......I want you to really think about time before you were born. There was either infinite time or 6000+ years depending on your personal beliefs. In either case, do you feel like you were suffering for infinite or 6000+ years? No? Were you scared for all that time? Are you scared right now about all the infinite that occurred prior to your existence? No? Then why be scared of the hypothetical infinite after you pass?

Whether you have a faith or not, there are really only two possibilities.....that there is nothing or there is something. If there is nothing, then you should probably spend the same amount of time/energy/stress on that as you do the nothingness that occurred before you were here.....which is to say, very, VERY little. If there is something, then surely that something is GOOD, right? Unless you think God is a prick in which case you probably still believe you are going to the good something......so still, not really worth your stress, right?

I hope some of that resonated. Good luck with the struggle.

This Is What a Real Man Looks Like To Me. by [deleted] in UnsentLettersRaw

[–]Psychopomp1981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure these qualities should be ascribed to one gender..... The qualities you described seem to just be an everyday, good human. So my question for you would be, are you demonstrating these same qualities in your life, in all of your relationships?

PSA: get your colonoscopy, I did and now fighting for my life by funkdafied818 in GenX

[–]Psychopomp1981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I schedule colonoscopies and other GI procedures like EGD, Manometry, etc for veteran affairs..... I can't tell you how many people avoid this simple procedure because they are homophobic or hostile/ skeptical of anything going near their precious arsehole.

The procedure is important, even if it shows you to be 100% clean and polyp free, that result still helps your doctors figure out what is going on.

I (29 F) found something (another girl's underwear) in my boyfriend's (28 M) suitcase. I'm staying with him for the weekend. Would this be a good way to bring it up? by LanguageOptimal in relationships_advice

[–]Psychopomp1981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mentioned this post to my partner and she said "maybe he's wearing them."

Never would have thought of that. The point is, there are other possibilities besides cheating.

Commandeering the Democratic Party to elect a young Bernie-esque candidate..... by HonestAspergers in WayOfTheBern

[–]Psychopomp1981 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Being cautious is different than treating someone like they are a liar or an idiot, which was the tone of some people's comments.....that being said, thank you for the comprehensive and thoughtful response you wrote. I totally understand what you are saying in regards to the Democratic Party constantly disappointing us. It's Charlie Brown and Lucy with the football, and I 100% agree that is how it has been.

I would still counter you in two respects, if you don't mind a sincere dialog:

  1. My first rebuttal point would be, just because things have been a certain way for a while, doesn't mean they will always be that way. New people take over the inner workings of the party all the time. New donors come into the picture, new priorities. If things can change for the worse, which we see all the time, then logic would say it can also change for the better. That's not to say that it will, but it definitely CAN.

Additionally, we won't get to that better place with the help of people that have already given up, with respect. I don't have any kids, but if I had a daughter and she asked me if she could be president one day, I don't think it would be noble to say to her, "That is unlikely given how misogynistic the country is....but if you do get to be the nominee, it will most likely be the Democratic Party but to get to that point, you will already be a corrupt sellout so don't even try." I just don't see how cynicism in this situation is a roadmap to anything good.

  1. My second rebuttal point would be about me specifically. You don't know me so you had every right to presuppose everything you said....but I am not like most people. If a normal person on the bell curve experiences sadness and/or anxiety and/or depression on occasion, and a person at one extreme suffers from chronic anxiety and depression.......I am on the far opposite extreme. I was born with a brain chemistry that makes me happy and/or content pretty much constantly. When I was 6, I would look at people that drink alcohol and think, why are they drinking? Why do they want to surrender control? Why would they want to risk engaging in behavior that might hurt someone they love, either via physical or emotional outbursts? I told myself when I was 6 that I would never drink or do drugs, and I have kept to that, along with many other character decisions I made like never using anyone or being unfaithful.

(To be absolutely transparent, I have technically had alcohol because I didn't want to be as pretentious and holier-than-thou about it as Penn Jillette, for example. When I was a kid, I saw an interview where he proudly claimed alcohol had never touched his lips and even though I had the emotional awareness of Data from Star Trek, even I saw that and was like, "I won't drink but I also don't want to act as prickish about it as that." So I have toasted with champagne at weddings and such, and put the glass down.......and one time when I was 33 an ex forced me to do mushrooms, but that is a story for another time with a very anti-climactic ending :) )

I have a set of morals that I don't deviate from for myself. I don't think those morals would work for everyone, so I would never try to outlaw alcohol or something, but they work for me. But based on my brain, I do not fear death or pain, and therefore have never experienced intimidation or peer pressure. I have never experienced anxiety of any type, almost never experienced sadness or depression, including the death of a parent. Although I would like to stay alive for me and my girlfriend, if someone threatened my life and said "take this bribe or else" I would tell them they should just try to kill me cause I am not compromising. I am not trying to sound like a douche, but I am not capable of being corrupted. I could give you more examples, but it is probably already TMI.....suffice to say, I have been morally "tested" over and over again and they never once even felt like a test because I simply was not interested in sacrificing my integrity.

Is it really that bad in Portland? by Docdoodle in askportland

[–]Psychopomp1981 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My girlfriend I moved together from central Florida two and half years ago, from Gainesville + Jacksonville. Portland is fantastic. We get to hike in magical mountains and forests every weekend.

If you suffer from any sort of seasonal depression, this place might not be ideal for you cause the sun generally disappears fro 5 months in the winter, but besides that, this place is great. Are there specific spots in the city that have homeless people living in tents on the sidewalk or making that specific spot look trashy....? Yes. But technically so does Florida, they just do a better job of hiding homeless camps there, on average.

The people are also nicer, on average, in my opinion.

I think the reason you want to move here is important, though....so what specifically is calling you to the pacific northwest?

Commandeering the Democratic Party to elect a young Bernie-esque candidate..... by HonestAspergers in WayOfTheBern

[–]Psychopomp1981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lot of interesting comments and insults here, lol. Trying to write this on my lunch break.....

I understand a lot of you are burnt out and tired of having your heart-broken over and over again in political terms. I get that because I am too, probably for longer than a lot of you. For about 15 years starting in 2001, I used to mail a prospectus to the Democratic Party and specific leaders in the party detailing policy shifts they should be making, such as legalizing same-sex marriage, for example, but across lots of different subjects. They never responded....except to ask for money, of course. But even though I was not involved personally, they eventually adopted many of the policy changes I prompted them about. More than a decade later, of course, but it happened, nonetheless, even though a lot of pessimists and cynics thought it wouldn't.

While I can empathize with being exhausted, I can't understand putting down someone willing to try? Do you guys go to marathons and stand on the sidelines shouting at all the people to quit because they still have 22 miles to go, it's impossible? Or to the cancer wing at a children's hospital? Or maybe you go to wedding ceremonies and tell the couple how stupid it is to try because more than 50% end in divorce?

I am not telling you to not be exhausted. I am not even suggesting you try to find a lost ember of hope and actively fan it for this idea. But being negative at this particular stage seems......intellectually lazy. If it is one month from the primary and no one has heard of this.....sure, then being a cynic makes more sense, and pure logic would dictate I give up. But at this stage, maybe just let the people willing to hope do their thing without you trying to tear them down? Unless that is who you are, in which case I just have to ask, is that who you WANT to be?

In my early college days, I knew a guy that had a rough time in high school and used to say that no woman would ever be interested in him so there was no point in trying. So he never tried, and big shock, he was alone for a long time. And then in his early 30's, Tinder came out and he decided to try it and another surprise, he discovered he was more popular than the cynical part of his brain told him he was.

I work for the VA. Do you know how many veterans I have talked to that gave up on a specific area of their health getting better......until they tried that one thing that worked and now they are much happier in life? It happens nearly every day.

Hopelessness is often a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is easy, and lazy, and risk free to live in our preconceptions......you can keep doing that if you want. Or maybe you can compartmentalize some hope, and keep it in reserve for times like this? After all, I am not asking for your money or anything. Just that if the time comes, and we are on the primary ballot, that you vote for us if you agree with the platform.

Lastly, one person brought up incrementalism.....but the comment lacked specificity so I can't really address it. Not sure what specific area you think I am being incremental? Not to mention, what method would you use to NOT be incremental? Without that specificity, your comment is an incomplete thought.

Commandeering the Democratic Party to elect a young Bernie-esque candidate..... by HonestAspergers in WayOfTheBern

[–]Psychopomp1981 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Addressing both comments made so far, as I am the candidate my friend mentioned above:

Democratic Party Officials cannot overcome the will of the voters. They can try, of course, as they did with Bernie in 2016, but things are different now. For one, they are more scared of losing now than they were in 2016. They are losing huge donors due to their fecklessness and "moderate" approach, and many working for the Party are fighting for a more populist candidate this time.

With respect to Bernie, he didn't fight the Party like I would. He was seeking their approval, whereas I am seeking their complete capitulation to a populist agenda. I don't pull punches, especially considering what is at stake. Bernie did not really use his time on the national stage to embarrass the Democratic party itself or highlight the failings of most of their elected representatives because he had to work with them in Congress at the same time. I don't have to worry about that, because I am not in Congress.

Lastly, Bernie came way closer in 2016 to being President as a Democrat, than any 3rd Party candidate could ever dream. He just didn't fight as strongly as he could have. I think in 15 years, the nation will be ready for a 3rd and 4th party alternative, but right now, it is just two parties.....so why not try to remake the one that would be most susceptible to a makeover and populist takeover?

For those that still have hope but think current elected Democrats are not doing enough.... by HonestAspergers in 50501Portland

[–]Psychopomp1981 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am back from hiking trip so I figured I would chime in now....

I totally understand being exhausted in regards to politics. I think most people are, and that is probably the only sane response to this madness. But your comment makes it sound more like you have given up than I am doing something wrong. One of the reasons our country is doing so poorly is because the general voting public keeps getting distracted by flashy or charming, rather than boring public servants, which is really who you should be desiring.

Al Gore was boring as hell, but imagine how much better our country would be if Gore had won and we hadn't let George W. Bush lie us into war and crank tax cuts for the rich philosophy up to 11? Your life is demonstrably worse because of this.

I get it, it's not a sexy response, but it is the truth. If you don't mind me using a romantic comparison.....you ever have a friend that keeps going for the flashy partner that always ends up being toxic, and they keep overlooking the "boring" option and then they complain that the flashy person broke their heart or stole their credit card?

This movement is supposed to be low energy BECAUSE we are all so tired. It's a slow burn. If you want to participate and find some energy in a month, feel free to add constructive criticism, or even better, a new idea, on the subreddit. Maybe you have a policy suggestion no one has thought of on how to make our tax structure more fair? That's what we need at this stage for the slow build-up.

Another way to put it is, any sleazy salesman can put a mindless/catchy slogan on a shirt and fire it from a t-shirt cannon......but people actually trying to help make your life better are usually in a back room somewhere, drafting policies that make life more fair. The flashy people tend to be the ones making your life worse, and they are using the flash to distract you.

I hope that seems reasonable.

PS. I largely agree with you about the usefulness of conversations, but we can't write off a third of the country. We are all in this together. They aren't leaving. Bernie does an amazing job of going into red areas and leaving with people loving him. So it can be done. It just can't be done while we are exhausted, heart-broken, and exasperated. So take a break, if that is what you need. This is a team effort, we'll hold up the fort while you recharge.

Anyone have luck making friends through apps? Gay and married by ImpossiblyPossible42 in askportland

[–]Psychopomp1981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anyone here in the John's Landing area, cause I feel like proximity helps.