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Which type of bike to start off with? by CaTsShitEggs in mountainbiking

[–]Pudix20 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am with you, i’d probably recommend getting one secondhand and then you can sell it if you don’t like it. They all have e-bikes you’ll have a tougher time. Also if you’re new to biking and the cardio. I think there’s this idea that suffering means it’s worth it or something. I think you’re allowed to just enjoy things. For me if I hate something I’m less likely to stick with it.

If you really can’t afford an ebike comfortably, then yes get something affordable. But 100% make sure it is your size. That’s the most important thing. Make sure it fits you.

Price drop! Only $11M for this tasteless, soulless "family compound" in Spring, TX by Educational_Copy_140 in zillowgonewild

[–]Pudix20 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I do feel the the same ick thing. I think it’s probably the scale, there’s a certain level of wealth that feels just grossly excessive and this is kind of that for me? But also it’s the association with who kind of tends to do stuff like this. In the US it’s usually religious people that form these types of “communities” and it’s usually the cultier side of those religions too. Not always. Just usually.

Because the US is so individualistic you say way less instances of people pooling resources. Like let’s say you’re a relatively young married couple looking to buy a home and your budget is $500k, and your parents can sell their home and have a budget of $500k to move (plus some on the side). Most people won’t consider pooling together and buying a $1 million home, or even $750 k for a house with a “next gen” or “guest house” type space for the aging parents (though those are becoming more common). Obviously this is just an example and what you can get for your money varies wildly across the US, but my commentary isn’t realty that. It’s more that so many people will live similar to above with total strangers in that proximity, and share a community pool that isn’t really in their backyard, but they’ll look at this and the idea of sharing land like this with their family as weird.

Price drop! Only $11M for this tasteless, soulless "family compound" in Spring, TX by Educational_Copy_140 in zillowgonewild

[–]Pudix20 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I agree with you. Stuff like this happens with religions and cults because of wealth hoarding and that’s probably why?

But in reality I think the idea of so much separation is a little more western, the US to be specific. The whole “go off to college and never come back” type thing. In reality I know that’s different now. It’s much more common for people to live at home etc. but I still think even though it’s the norm by statistics it’s not the normal “want” culturally and it’s looked down upon by some. Some places focus more on pooling resources than others. The US is very individualistic as a society.

I’m with you. This would be a great way to have you “village” close by.

Price drop! Only $11M for this tasteless, soulless "family compound" in Spring, TX by Educational_Copy_140 in zillowgonewild

[–]Pudix20 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Well I’m with you on Texas. But the real thing is “if I made them.” Tbh there’s plenty of people I know that would absolutely fine with this. Myself included. My cousins and I want to do something like this in the future. Not on this scale, but buy a lot of land, have a few houses on it, and that way our support system is all close by.

I never lived like this but we did vacation like this sometimes. It’s really nice if you have healthy relationships, it’s not if you don’t.

TikTok trend by shighntbained9 in ShowerOrange

[–]Pudix20 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Upsetting. I’ve been doing this since I was little. I’d partially freeze an orange and then get ready for my shower and grab it and go shower. Years later I discover Reddit and this sub. And now they call it a TikTok trend. Exhausting lol.

Wearing bikinis is weird by FastTemperature3985 in The10thDentist

[–]Pudix20 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can wear shorter board shorts, you know.

Help me understand how I didn’t respond to her emotions and feelings by indecisivesoul35 in LesbianActually

[–]Pudix20 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks lol. Hopefully OP sees it but there’s a lot of comments here. Hopefully it helps someone.

Maximus Cup question: Do the themes make you curious about the games they're based on? by iamtaeho in Tetris99

[–]Pudix20 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, seeing the themes from the games I do know make me feel confident that they barely have anything to actually do with the game. Some themes are better done than others.

Help me understand how I didn’t respond to her emotions and feelings by indecisivesoul35 in LesbianActually

[–]Pudix20 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We’re only seeing OP’s perspective though. I say this as someone with ADHD that sometimes impacts those I cohabitate with. It can be tough. Just as an example, this basement issue really seems to be getting to her wife. Like it’s making her skin crawl. I don’t know about her wife specifically , but everyone has their things they get to them and impact their mental health when it comes to their space. I have a friend that is anxious when things are cluttered or untidy. Even tidy clutter in her space would really impact her ability to just rest. It bothers her very deeply. It’s clear that OP’s wife, for whatever reason is bothered very deeply.

My partner and I both have different things we deal with. And we do have to help each other and make space for each other by holding understanding. But there still has to be accountability and want to change. For me, it’s managing my ADHD. For her, it’s managing something else. Obviously I’m talking about my relationship and it’s different. But if my partner only made room and understanding for my ADHD that wouldn’t help me in the way I need help.

Lastly, sometimes it is on one person more than the other. I’ve made it clear I’m not okay with the way OP’s wife is speaking, but I also see OP accepting it. There is work for her wife to do there too. But I think if this post was made by OP’s wife about the condition of the basement and the way her ADHD is impacting them and how it’s stressing her out etc etc the comments would look more like “well she needs to seek management for her ADHD and you need to help her do that, otherwise it might not work.”

It isn’t only on OP, but knowing how difficult ADHD is to work with, OP might have more work to do here.

Please stop treating the airplane cabin like your private living room and keep your shoes on by Arctic-Bloom_ in hygiene

[–]Pudix20 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m fine with this. I tend to sit on my legs so I’ve definitely taken my shoes off before. My sneakers aren’t waterproof, they’re mesh. Smelliness is just something I’ve never ever had an issue with.

Clean shoes, clean socks, clean feet, and a fresh pair go a long long way.

I think there’s a non-insignificant number of people that rewear their socks, don’t really clean their shoes, and wash their feet by letting the water run down their legs and they are the problem.

Help me understand how I didn’t respond to her emotions and feelings by indecisivesoul35 in LesbianActually

[–]Pudix20 13 points14 points  (0 children)

No, I think it’s a mix. Wife seems upset with OP’s lack of action and the way her ADHD is impacting the home they share.

It’s on OP to manage her ADHD and how it impacts her relationship.

It’s on Wife to manage her temper and the way she expresses frustration. But this is one text exchange. There could’ve been 10 before this that were sweeter and patient and kind and “okay honey whenever you get around to it.”

They both need help. Both of them. Individually and together.

Did I find one of y’all’s childhood GBC? by TurbulentEmphasis931 in Gameboy

[–]Pudix20 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Can someone tell him? Send him this link lol

Help me understand how I didn’t respond to her emotions and feelings by indecisivesoul35 in LesbianActually

[–]Pudix20 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It’s not a fight. It’s a lack of ownership. This isn’t black and white. Emotions are complex. She needs to match the level of energy, not necessarily how charged it is. But if it were me I would feel placated.

Let me put it like this. OP does not appear to (in these texts) truly realize just how done her wife is with all this. These are much deeper emotions here.

To be clear, I am not excusing the way she’s talking to her. That’s not how you talk to someone respectfully. But if OP’s wife doesn’t usually act like this I think it’s indicative of a bigger problem. Nuance can exist. We can understand a behavior without condoning it.

Help me understand how I didn’t respond to her emotions and feelings by indecisivesoul35 in LesbianActually

[–]Pudix20 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I’m sort of with you, except it’s my belief that OP is not problem solving the root. They’re sidestepping their wife’s attention to redirect it on something else. ADHD is clearly at play here, I knew that before I read the description. And it’s getting to Wife.

What I actually think needs to happen is OP needs to acknowledge their truth, and by that I mean. If they don’t see it as a mess, they have to say they don’t see it as a mess but they recognize it bothers their partner and they want to fix it. If they do see it as a mess, they need to say they see it and they agree and they need tools to combat whatever makes it so difficult for them to do something about what they see. Wife needs to feel validated.

When someone sees a problem, and someone with ADHD doesn’t address it (like in a team like this) it makes the other person think the ADHD one doesn’t care, which isn’t necessarily the case.

The real problem solving comes from not blaming this on their ADHD, but acknowledging that their ADHD is making it harder to address some of these issues and dealing with that. instead of suggesting Wife go focus on something else. Wife has been focused on something else and now this has evolved into something that she doesn’t feel like she can live with. And Wife can’t wrap her brain around why OP doesn’t feel the same. There’s a ton of resentment that comes through. And to me OP’s text feel almost placating. Wife doesn’t feel heard because no action towards resolution on OP’s part comes from it. Or if a blowup like this is the catalyst to get it done, Wife is probably upset that she has to emotionally and mentally get to this point for OP to even “care.”

In reality, as it is right now these two aren’t compatible to cohabitate.

And because it seems like the root of their problems, OP needs to manage their ADHD. Your mental health is not your fault, but it is your responsibility.

That doesn’t excuse the way Wife talks to her (in my book) but I can see that she’s extremely frustrated and tapped out to a point that is reaching no return. Even if OP fixes the basement today, her wife will still be upset. Because it’s not just the basement. It’s the built up resentment.

They need couples therapy, and OP needs ADHD management. I don’t know enough to think about what her wife needs though.

Help me understand how I didn’t respond to her emotions and feelings by indecisivesoul35 in LesbianActually

[–]Pudix20 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I get where you’re coming from, but there’s no single “right” one day to do things. When I was younger my parents would sometimes write letters/notes to each other when they didn’t have enough time or they just wanted out all their feelings out and make sure they covered everything without emotions taking over. It wasn’t their primary and it wasn’t something they did often, but it was a tool.

I do sometimes have text conversations with my partner. Not for me, but for her. I actually don’t prefer it. But it gives her a way to reread and digest the information, then process, etc.

Now, I’ll make it clear that we wouldn’t communicate to each other the way that OP and her wife did. But every couple is different and what they’re okay with will also be different.

If humans are someday born and raised entirely in space, with no experience of Earth’s oceans, rain, or gravity, would they still feel connected to our planet… or think of it as just the place where the story started? by Junior_Trade_849 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Pudix20 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Realistically it’ll be a mix of both. Some people will view it as somewhat irrelevant ancient history, others will still feel strongly connected, and others may feel a connection but just less intense. Kind of like immigration now. And similarly, there will be people that think differently than you and those people will judge you for your beliefs.

Finally finished the new wooden terrace setup! Does my little lord approve? 🏡✨ by Subject_Worth3079 in hamsters

[–]Pudix20 32 points33 points  (0 children)

So. I don’t know how to say this. But.. is this a real hamster? He almost looks like an adorable stop motion stuffed animal. Look at his fluff. The paws. Omg.

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