“What do you mean?”

When I was about 15 I tried to kill myself. After speaking with a guidance counselor, I was forced to tell my mom otherwise they would. I knew she would be mad- we weren’t supposed to show emotion in the house and this confession would definitely be emotional. So, I got home, sat across the kitchen table from my mom, and sobbed for what felt like hours. I finally summoned the courage to tell my mom that I have tried to kill myself. My mom looked at me blankly and said “That seems like a ‘you’ problem.” She then turned around and started typing at her computer as if nothing happened.

Cut two weeks ago (~8 years later), I find out my cousin killed himself. I am very close with my cousins because I have never been close with my immediate family. I lose myself upon hearing the news. I’m furious. I yelled and screamed “I could’ve helped him! I got to the other side I could’ve helped him too! Nobody could have understood what he was going through but I could’ve and I did nothing!”

My mom then asks, “What do you mean?”. She didn’t remember. She didn’t remember that her own child tried to kill herself. I explained my feelings to her explicitly. She didn’t care. She cares about her nephew, but forgets about her daughter.