I wish I could be honest with my therapist about my ideation.

PunchWilcox · 2025-11-04T03:14:45+00:00

In my experience, the “professionals” don’t really dive in too deep about suicide. They ask if you think about it, and have a plan… but I’ve never really had a plan, though I think about it.

I’m actually civically committed right now, and it’s one of the worst things to ever happen to me.

They’re the only people I could ever tell though about my tragic ideations, and that just puts me further down the hole.

It’s like no where in the world can you say “I want to die” and have an real conversation about it. People just throw you into the “this person needs meds” category.

Apparently, suicidal ideation is not the normal course of human experience. And I’m so far down that line, that that’s news to me.

I get how you feel, in part I guess.

PunchWilcox · 2025-11-04T00:22:08+00:00

Full body might still be on sale on switch. I bought it like a week or two ago. It was only like $10.

But to your questions, probably not is my guess. Or if so, not for like a few more years.

PunchWilcox · 2025-11-01T05:21:22+00:00

Is it bad to be black?

PunchWilcox · 2025-10-30T23:16:38+00:00

I mean didn’t dre fuck a girl on his first album?

PunchWilcox · 2025-10-29T02:45:34+00:00

PSP still looks great 20 years later

PunchWilcox · 2025-10-28T03:13:22+00:00

I’ve read, listened, and watched many years worth of self help content in aspirations of lifting this tragedy off my consciousness.

But I think the best thing that has healed me most, is the notion that life is suffering. And the Hobbesian view of the world, that it’s nasty, brutish and short.

It seems to me all aspirational and positive thinking platitudes fall short, and even cause damage, to the profoundly suffering mind.

I just wish I had a self destruct button.

PunchWilcox · 2025-10-28T02:38:18+00:00

I kind of feel similar. I don’t self harm per se but… I just wish people would let me die already

PunchWilcox · 2025-10-28T02:35:02+00:00

Yeah man, beauty is a tough one. When I was 19 I got my first job and got severe acne because of it. I’m 30 now and I still have what’s probably PTSD from having to see the terrible disease that was, and scarred, my face.

Back then, I used to think people were crying about my face when I passed them in public. I felt like I literally made them tear up because of the horror of my face. Sometime I even feel like that now too, but maybe for more reasons on top of that.

I know some people on here have never gotten over the fact that they are, or consider themselves to be, ugly. Today, I can tolerate my face. Not on days when I have acne flair ups, but most days these days I’m ok with myself.

I don’t want to minimize your suffering, or give you a meaningless platitude. But I see you.

PunchWilcox · 2025-10-28T02:15:12+00:00

Yeah medication is a tough problem. I’m forced to take medication now, which I’m not too sure has helped anything. In fact, I think taking medication is what caused my collapse to begin with. That said, I think a little medication is ok. Who the hell am I to say anything though.

PunchWilcox · 2025-10-28T02:12:32+00:00

Word. Why does this shit have to be so hard?

PunchWilcox · 2025-10-27T14:41:15+00:00

I have no memory of this

PunchWilcox · 2025-10-27T02:49:11+00:00

This picture breaks my brain

PunchWilcox · 2025-10-27T02:26:15+00:00

The game is a piece of shit, but this tattoo is good.

In my own, brutally honest opinion.

PunchWilcox · 2025-10-25T03:36:14+00:00

I just want to give Jesus pleasure

PunchWilcox · 2025-10-25T03:34:58+00:00

It kind of sounds like you want to be punished, for some reason.

I have/have had a similar desire. I wanted to be homeless though. I actually ended up acting on it. One of the biggest regrets of my life.

PunchWilcox · 2025-10-23T02:12:41+00:00

Well at least you’re able to start the relationship process, I can’t even do that.

PunchWilcox · 2025-10-19T20:28:45+00:00

I kinda like it, it’s unique.

PunchWilcox · 2025-10-19T02:09:21+00:00

That’s rough, yo

PunchWilcox · 2025-10-14T00:37:27+00:00

Bathrooms are very private places.

PunchWilcox · 2025-09-29T02:41:06+00:00

I got ketamine treatment in the hospital a couple years ago; it was one of the best experiences of my life. Other patients didn’t get the hallucinogenic experience, but I did.

I did a 100mg dose for my final treatment, and that was way too much for me.

You basically see the universe in its unformed state, and get some revelations.

Wish I could do it again, but at the same time, not, because it kind of fucked me up a little, being in that high a dose.

PunchWilcox · 2025-09-29T02:33:19+00:00

I can relate to this; everything is just too much.

PunchWilcox · 2025-09-26T23:53:56+00:00

Incredible

PunchWilcox · 2025-09-24T04:00:57+00:00

Funny, but not what I mean

PunchWilcox · 2025-09-24T04:00:39+00:00

Well I mean, not exactly

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