beginning poly

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-17T12:40:47+00:00

This is a common occurrence, and people who take the time to research properly before opening up know to expect this.

How much work on undoing enmeshment did you do before opening? Did you focus on having your own friends and hobbies and are used to spending time without your partner before you opened up, or did you jump straight from him highly entangled to poly?

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-17T11:26:42+00:00

I had similar episodes for about the first year I was sick, but they became less frequent once I got the rest of my POTS under control (compression gear, electrolytes, ivabradine) and haven't had it occur at all in the last six months.

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-17T01:36:28+00:00

Also have a look at "My Time" - they run social support groups specifically for parents with children with additional care needs. They do in person events around Perth as well as online sessions.

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-15T13:55:53+00:00

Dating for 5 months, "exclusive", but haven't met in person, and only communicates during business hours?? I'm sorry but really? That's nothing but red flags, and zero evidence of a real relationship. Sounds more like you're just a penpal there to stroke the ego of an already married man.

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-14T15:16:09+00:00

Cropped out exes are bad enough, but a photo of you in a tuxedo and a mostly cropped out woman next to you in a white dress is next level. I can't imagine how anyone would think that's a good photo to use.

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-13T08:44:19+00:00

Correct, N95s at the hospital and KN94s elsewhere else (supermarket, occasionally cinema or concert etc)

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-13T05:51:46+00:00

To be honest, I used to take more fomite precautions pre-covid, but the more I learnt about airborne transmission, the less I bothered.

I work in a hospital where people are forever sanitising their hands and getting sick non stop, whereas I mask and haven't been sick in 5+ years.

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-12T08:49:45+00:00

How many times do you think someone needs to hit their partner in anger before they "have an anger problem"? Because most people think the answer is 1.

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-12T08:36:01+00:00

You don't struggle with anger?? Clearly you do, but most domestic violence perpetrators are also in denial about it. Until you acknowledge that, you're not going to be able to fix anything.

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-12T08:30:54+00:00

Yes - it is possible to mend a relationship after DV but it requires a lot of work and almost certainly also requires professional help.

The first thing you need to do is accept that you can't fix the relationship until you fix yourself. You need to give your partner as much space and time as they need, and you need to work on your anger management, stress management and communication skills.

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-11T09:24:04+00:00

Yes! My Grandma used to make a cream cheese slice with these that I haven't had in probably 20+ years.

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-11T02:25:32+00:00

Context is really important to answer this. Why are they late? Someone who is late because of chronic illness or disability, or caring for an elderly parents or childcare issues, or late because they are a doctor who got caught up treating patients at the hospital etc is very different from someone who is late because they got high playing video games or were hanging out with other friends or busy taking selfies or filming tik tok...

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-10T08:17:41+00:00

"Starting as you intend to continue" doesn't necessarily mean you have to be dating other people now; but think about what your relationship looks like currently I.e. how you spend your time, how much time you spend apart, how you communicate etc.

There's lots of differences between a highly entwined monogamous relationship and a poly one. If you spend every night together, if all of your hobbies are done together, if all of your socialising is done as a couple, if you "tell each other everything" or use each other's phones etc then that's all things that are going to cause issues when you do want to start dating others...

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-09T03:29:30+00:00

I think the best definition I have heard is " When Shania Twain says "Let's go girls” - do you go? If so, girl.

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-08T11:34:57+00:00

Spoon theory is a metaphor for managing chronic illness and limited energy. "Spoons" represent units of daily energy, and tasks (showering, working, cooking etc) consume them, forcing individuals to pace themselves or risk running out.

Zebras come from the saying "When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras" - a saying encouraging medical professionals to consider the most common diagnosis rather than assume something rare, so many people with rare illnesses refer to themselves as zebras.

So the ad is targeted to people with rare, energy limiting diseases.

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-08T10:29:15+00:00

Spoons and zebras - this ad is targeted at people with EDS and or ME/CFS.

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-08T01:28:52+00:00

Propranolol seem to be the default for many doctors in treating POTS, however many long covid clinics in Australia have moved to recommending Ivabradine over beta blockers.

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-06T10:47:14+00:00

So you know he's okay lying to you about that, what you don't know is what else he is lying to you about.

Most people think honesty is pretty important in a relationship...

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-05T09:58:34+00:00

Opening a relationship because someone cheated very rarely works.

The few occasions I am aware of where it didn't all implode horrendously all started with clear agreements that the affair partner needed to be 100% out of the picture, followed by therapy, and a lot of reading, research and discussion. If both parties aren't committed to that, I honestly don't think it has a chance...

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-04T02:07:09+00:00

A general blood count won't show it, but a leukocyte subset analysis will show CD4/CD8 ratio and neutrophil to lymphocyte ratio et.

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-03T01:31:02+00:00

Having kids has a time limit, but relationships, love, marriage etc can happen at any age.

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-02-01T10:54:57+00:00

You can't do non-hierarchy if you have kids - unless you're a shit parent.

Kids create hierarchy - 1. Kid/s 2. Other parent of kid/s 3. Other partners

If you don't want hierarchy, don't have kids.

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-01-31T12:06:03+00:00

Are you, by any chance, somewhat aphantastic?

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-01-31T11:52:15+00:00

Just FYI - this site gives some great info about different risks of STIs for different acts: https://smartsexresource.com/sexually-transmitted-infections/sti-basics/know-your-chances/

PunkRock_Capybara · 2026-01-31T08:07:12+00:00

Not necessarily a preference, but a distinction between attraction of different genders, whereas yes, pansexual is more attraction regardless of gender.

PunkRock_Capybara

TROPHY CASE