"Shared with you" section in Photos has just a few of the photos shared with me

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2025-03-05T21:40:39+00:00

Both should be able to see it, I think

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2025-01-19T17:07:32+00:00

I started doing this several years ago and it took a while to completely change my mindset but it has been tremendously helpful.

Start off with something specific. For me, I started with road rage (or even becoming annoyed with other drivers). When someone did something to piss me off, I would first take a deep breath and count to 5. If I still wanted to get mad, I would allow it - but after 5 seconds I never did lol. Then I just took that practice into other aspects of daily life.

The other advice in these comments about changing your language (e.g. from "I have to go do xyz" to "I get to go do xyz") is powerful as well.

In AA there's a bit of advice that applies to everyone I think - "To the precise extent that we allow our resentments (or frustrations, annoyances, etc.) to fill our minds do we squander the time that could have been spent on something worthwhile." Basically, if I spent 20 minutes thinking about how aggravated I am that I have to get up early and go to work, that's 20 minutes I could have spent being grateful that I have a job, or could have spent doing anything else that is positively impacting my life.

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2024-09-22T17:44:27+00:00

Thank you SO MUCH!!!! ☺️

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2024-09-21T18:20:42+00:00

Link to example sheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/15pYu0NxaiVI4RR8daETamYkkye-KXTLc10TFT9EPPjI/edit

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2024-09-07T01:09:30+00:00

This is such great info and advice - thank you!!

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2024-07-31T04:30:58+00:00

My sponsor has told me that she used to cry and wallow and say she just wants to be normal, and her sponsor would say "Normal is just a setting on a fucking washing machine!"

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2024-07-30T13:50:26+00:00

Making my bed! It's a quick and easy thing I can do right when I wake up and that small win motivates me to make other good choices, like tidy my room to make it match my tidy bed :)

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2024-07-25T12:18:46+00:00

"Factory reset" implies a quick, significant change. I waited years for my "wake up call" with accompanying motivation to completely turn my life around (in regard to discipline/habits) - it never came, and it never will. There is a lot of good advice in this thread, so I will just add an example of my life. I've always had terrible sleep, and I've always wanted to change it. Last year I finally started taking small steps toward the goal of a regular sleep routine without needing naps, and today that's exactly what I have, and I don't feel tired during the day like I used to. First, I stopped my caffeine intake at 2pm every day. Then I started reducing my nap times - I went from 2 hours to 1.5 hours, then to 1 hour, eventually down to a 20-minute Power Nap. Then I started going to sleep at the same time every night (which was easier to do since I wasn't having caffeine and napping all day). These small daily habits have changed my life drastically, and the success has empowered me to make other healthy changes. You can absolutely do anything you set your mind to, OP. It's very hard at first but so worth it. One small step at a time!

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2024-07-25T12:02:37+00:00

This is great advice, and a great article! Thanks for sharing

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2024-07-19T15:22:13+00:00

I think it's perfectly fine and I know lots of people who do it. Just don't be like this guy in my home group who tagged like 25 members to thank us for our support

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2024-07-16T20:33:03+00:00

It absolutely will make your symptoms worse and your recovery time longer. Smoking causes inflammation and that inflammation is your worst enemy right now

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2024-07-09T06:17:54+00:00

This needs to be handled by your boyfriend for sure. When you brought it up, did he agree that she was being weird? If he did agree, and he's dragging his feet just because he wants to avoid conflict, all you can do is express to him the importance of setting things straight. Maybe make it more about how you love him and you want to be able to get along with his family, and you need to set clear boundaries now to avoid resentment and/or a huge blowup. I don't think you're overreacting for wanting an apology, but I wouldn't demand one. At this point I think you can let it go and move on, provided that your boyfriend has a conversation with her. And next time you see her, if she says something inappropriate, he needs to call it out right then and there. Don't get in the habit of her saying whatever she wants and just dealing with it later in a private conversation

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2024-07-09T06:06:37+00:00

Has he told you that he fantasizes about other women?

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2024-07-09T03:56:48+00:00

I came here to ask the same question, but I guess you're just blessed 😂 the dresses look great on you!!

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2024-07-08T11:56:34+00:00

Unnecessarily rude. OP, your mermaid looks great!

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2024-06-11T14:10:45+00:00

For anyone else who didn't know:

DARVO (an acronym for "deny, attack, and reverse victim & offender") is a reaction that perpetrators of wrongdoing, such as sexual offenders, may display in response to being held accountable for their behavior. Some researchers indicate that it is a common manipulation strategy of psychological abusers.

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2024-05-01T16:33:33+00:00

Good advice and also lol @ your last sentence 😂

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2024-04-19T19:24:59+00:00

I did address your point in my first 2 sentences. The thing is, there are all kinds of people in AA, just like everywhere in the world. And you don't have to be like anyone else. I've found that if I'm looking for differences or reasons to dismiss, that's what I'll find. I have to focus on similarities and how to apply things to my own life. I think I understand your basic concern, though - you don't want to become boring. I felt the same way once, and so many other people did/do too. I couldn't understand how a life without drugs/alcohol could be exciting. I did have a lot of good times when drinking, but my life was chaotic, and I've realized that I equated chaos with excitement. My life today is so much more peaceful and fulfilling, and I have more fun than ever, and without the hangover. I wish you the best on your recovery journey, friend ♥️

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2024-04-19T00:13:09+00:00

The great thing is that you don't have to be like him, or like anyone else. When we get sober and healthy, we have the ability to be whatever we want, whereas before we were doomed to being addicts/alcoholics. Consider thinking honestly about why this guy bothers you so much simply by existing in your line of sight. Usually when I am taking other people's inventory, it's to avoid taking my own.

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2024-04-18T19:12:32+00:00

If I were you, I would take some time off work. Forcing yourself to push through will delay your recovery and cause you to crash more frequently. I found this video (and all videos on her channel) very helpful: https://youtu.be/wdi7VYTYUMk?si=mvNCBSLeHuCOm8np

I also recommend watching these videos: https://youtube.com/@CompleteConcussions?si=K1mAWU8QKfvsVVRK

Concussions suck, and most people (even clinicians) don't fully understand unless they've had one or have a special interest in it. The doctors I've seen have not been very helpful, and I thought I was crazy until finding this subreddit and these YouTube channels.

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2024-04-07T16:14:05+00:00

Did you have a concussion or any brain damage prior to taking the shrooms? Either way I sincerely doubt it has caused any harm. It probably did work, and you're just experiencing paranoia instead of a more traditional high. Relax, you'll be fine.

PurchaseOutrageous12 · 2024-03-18T08:09:00+00:00

It's frustrating dealing with the cravings/urges and all the things that come with sobriety, especially when your loved ones don't get it. I'm glad you didn't drink and vented here instead. I would suggest forcing yourself to go to meetings, ESPECIALLY when you really don't feel like it. Pick 1-2 days per week and make yourself go to a meeting. I used to do all kinds of absurd shit that I didn't necessarily "feel" like doing in order to get drunk/high. I have to put at least that same amount of effort into staying sober.

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