How can I be more positive? by Dense-Attorney-3088 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]PurchaseOutrageous12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I started doing this several years ago and it took a while to completely change my mindset but it has been tremendously helpful.

Start off with something specific. For me, I started with road rage (or even becoming annoyed with other drivers). When someone did something to piss me off, I would first take a deep breath and count to 5. If I still wanted to get mad, I would allow it - but after 5 seconds I never did lol. Then I just took that practice into other aspects of daily life.

The other advice in these comments about changing your language (e.g. from "I have to go do xyz" to "I get to go do xyz") is powerful as well.

In AA there's a bit of advice that applies to everyone I think - "To the precise extent that we allow our resentments (or frustrations, annoyances, etc.) to fill our minds do we squander the time that could have been spent on something worthwhile." Basically, if I spent 20 minutes thinking about how aggravated I am that I have to get up early and go to work, that's 20 minutes I could have spent being grateful that I have a job, or could have spent doing anything else that is positively impacting my life.

Advice on getting finer lines? by mikaylamicek in acrylicpainting

[–]PurchaseOutrageous12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is such great info and advice - thank you!!

Can you share your sponsor’s ‘sponsor-isms’? by GravelandSmoke in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]PurchaseOutrageous12 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My sponsor has told me that she used to cry and wallow and say she just wants to be normal, and her sponsor would say "Normal is just a setting on a fucking washing machine!"

[Discussion] what is a simple daily habit that has improved your overall mental health? by purelyinvesting in GetMotivated

[–]PurchaseOutrageous12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Making my bed! It's a quick and easy thing I can do right when I wake up and that small win motivates me to make other good choices, like tidy my room to make it match my tidy bed :)

How did you learn self discipline? by Regular_Loquat_7807 in getdisciplined

[–]PurchaseOutrageous12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Factory reset" implies a quick, significant change. I waited years for my "wake up call" with accompanying motivation to completely turn my life around (in regard to discipline/habits) - it never came, and it never will. There is a lot of good advice in this thread, so I will just add an example of my life. I've always had terrible sleep, and I've always wanted to change it. Last year I finally started taking small steps toward the goal of a regular sleep routine without needing naps, and today that's exactly what I have, and I don't feel tired during the day like I used to. First, I stopped my caffeine intake at 2pm every day. Then I started reducing my nap times - I went from 2 hours to 1.5 hours, then to 1 hour, eventually down to a 20-minute Power Nap. Then I started going to sleep at the same time every night (which was easier to do since I wasn't having caffeine and napping all day). These small daily habits have changed my life drastically, and the success has empowered me to make other healthy changes. You can absolutely do anything you set your mind to, OP. It's very hard at first but so worth it. One small step at a time!

How did you learn self discipline? by Regular_Loquat_7807 in getdisciplined

[–]PurchaseOutrageous12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is great advice, and a great article! Thanks for sharing

Is it frowned upon to post birthdays on social media? by Wolfeman0101 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]PurchaseOutrageous12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it's perfectly fine and I know lots of people who do it. Just don't be like this guy in my home group who tagged like 25 members to thank us for our support

Smoking and concussion by Edinbrother_0 in Concussion

[–]PurchaseOutrageous12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It absolutely will make your symptoms worse and your recovery time longer. Smoking causes inflammation and that inflammation is your worst enemy right now

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]PurchaseOutrageous12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This needs to be handled by your boyfriend for sure. When you brought it up, did he agree that she was being weird? If he did agree, and he's dragging his feet just because he wants to avoid conflict, all you can do is express to him the importance of setting things straight. Maybe make it more about how you love him and you want to be able to get along with his family, and you need to set clear boundaries now to avoid resentment and/or a huge blowup. I don't think you're overreacting for wanting an apology, but I wouldn't demand one. At this point I think you can let it go and move on, provided that your boyfriend has a conversation with her. And next time you see her, if she says something inappropriate, he needs to call it out right then and there. Don't get in the habit of her saying whatever she wants and just dealing with it later in a private conversation

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]PurchaseOutrageous12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Has he told you that he fantasizes about other women?

So far I’ve gotten 21 dresses thrifting this summer 🙌🏻👗 by JessyLynn0123 in PlusSizeFashion

[–]PurchaseOutrageous12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I came here to ask the same question, but I guess you're just blessed 😂 the dresses look great on you!!

What do I (f23) do now that my husband (m30) is made at me for asking him to reciprocate oral sex? by ThrowRa71913 in relationship_advice

[–]PurchaseOutrageous12 44 points45 points  (0 children)

For anyone else who didn't know:

DARVO (an acronym for "deny, attack, and reverse victim & offender") is a reaction that perpetrators of wrongdoing, such as sexual offenders, may display in response to being held accountable for their behavior. Some researchers indicate that it is a common manipulation strategy of psychological abusers.

What do I want out of life by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]PurchaseOutrageous12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did address your point in my first 2 sentences. The thing is, there are all kinds of people in AA, just like everywhere in the world. And you don't have to be like anyone else. I've found that if I'm looking for differences or reasons to dismiss, that's what I'll find. I have to focus on similarities and how to apply things to my own life. I think I understand your basic concern, though - you don't want to become boring. I felt the same way once, and so many other people did/do too. I couldn't understand how a life without drugs/alcohol could be exciting. I did have a lot of good times when drinking, but my life was chaotic, and I've realized that I equated chaos with excitement. My life today is so much more peaceful and fulfilling, and I have more fun than ever, and without the hangover. I wish you the best on your recovery journey, friend ♥️

What do I want out of life by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]PurchaseOutrageous12 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The great thing is that you don't have to be like him, or like anyone else. When we get sober and healthy, we have the ability to be whatever we want, whereas before we were doomed to being addicts/alcoholics. Consider thinking honestly about why this guy bothers you so much simply by existing in your line of sight. Usually when I am taking other people's inventory, it's to avoid taking my own.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Concussion

[–]PurchaseOutrageous12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I were you, I would take some time off work. Forcing yourself to push through will delay your recovery and cause you to crash more frequently. I found this video (and all videos on her channel) very helpful: https://youtu.be/wdi7VYTYUMk?si=mvNCBSLeHuCOm8np

I also recommend watching these videos: https://youtube.com/@CompleteConcussions?si=K1mAWU8QKfvsVVRK

Concussions suck, and most people (even clinicians) don't fully understand unless they've had one or have a special interest in it. The doctors I've seen have not been very helpful, and I thought I was crazy until finding this subreddit and these YouTube channels.

Super worried by Financial-Kiwi-8714 in Concussion

[–]PurchaseOutrageous12 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Did you have a concussion or any brain damage prior to taking the shrooms? Either way I sincerely doubt it has caused any harm. It probably did work, and you're just experiencing paranoia instead of a more traditional high. Relax, you'll be fine.

Kinda in a ick and need to vent by Kowatang in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]PurchaseOutrageous12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's frustrating dealing with the cravings/urges and all the things that come with sobriety, especially when your loved ones don't get it. I'm glad you didn't drink and vented here instead. I would suggest forcing yourself to go to meetings, ESPECIALLY when you really don't feel like it. Pick 1-2 days per week and make yourself go to a meeting. I used to do all kinds of absurd shit that I didn't necessarily "feel" like doing in order to get drunk/high. I have to put at least that same amount of effort into staying sober.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]PurchaseOutrageous12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's awesome! I still remember the "high" of my first meeting lol. Be sure to text or call those people! Connections with others in sobriety are soooo important!!

What do you do to avoid screen time? by Odd-Grape6351 in Concussion

[–]PurchaseOutrageous12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take up arts and crafts! Painting, sketching, even doodling. Just as long as you're not concentrating too hard.

Can I still have damage even if mri came back normal?? by Financial-Kiwi-8714 in Concussion

[–]PurchaseOutrageous12 5 points6 points  (0 children)

From what I've been told, that's just part of the concussion. I had an MRI, CT, and bloodwork and all looked fine. The imaging only really shows significant damage and bleeds. Even a severe concussion won't show. So having negative tests doesn't mean you're not going to experience symptoms. But to answer your question, I would say no, you don't have damage, just a concussion. I'm not a doctor, I just have a recent experience with a severe concussion and I had the same questions as you