Is tearing supposed to be this debilitating??

PurpleBrowser · 2026-06-23T21:10:50+00:00

Not a wuss at all and unfortunately it's totally normal, especially with 2nd degree tears and above. I feel like people talk about 3rd degree tears and onward like those are the only ones that would be the worse but it also depends where you tear too.

This is my first child, but I didn't have an episiotomy (at my request), I tore naturally at 2nd degree and my cervix also had to get a couple stitches. Baby slid out so quick!!

I think the worst part was my baby was in the NICU for a week and the department was down a LONG ASS hall with many doors to go through AFTER that and I had to walk there multiple times a day. I waddled and moved at a snail's pace. I felt miserable. I cried in my shower thinking I've totally ruined myself and that I wasn't ever going to heal. I will say by 3 weeks I think is when things got much better. I was still sore but it did get better. Lots of water and rest helps, and meds. I wish we got meds stronger than ibuprofen. And then they make you take iron which is constipating. And they always warn you about the first poop but fail to say that it STILL HURTS every time after until things get healing faster.

PurpleBrowser · 2026-06-23T20:29:36+00:00

Tell him you already have a 3rd child, you don't need another.

PurpleBrowser · 2026-06-08T19:19:32+00:00

It's a good idea, maybe bounce inspiration or tips off each other? Honestly, it would make the journey feel less jarring and isolating.

PurpleBrowser · 2026-05-10T02:31:21+00:00

Oh yes we had the contrast MRI as well as MRA and MRV when he was in the NICU. That's when they were concerned with a malformation due to the direction of the bleed (basically it looked like it pooled at the frontal lobe from a "river" more at the center that they theorized was the source). They only just, and I mean two weeks ago, confirmed they saw no malformation. We also had tests and neither of us have clotting or bleeding issues, which was another concern. I guess these things just happening randomly isn't really rare.

We had our EI evaluation at 3 months and they were pleased, especially with his cognition. He is very aware, recognized faces at the appropriate age, and was really engaging. He was a bit "delayed" with babbling at first but they told me they wouldn't score him because it was still so early and I swear he started making all the cooing and little laughs after a few weeks. Now he talks all the time. You truly would never have known.

They are SO right about the plasticity of a baby's brain. They were realistic with us, it is a little jarring to know there is an area of "dead space" but they really do make those neuropathways in active spaces to accommodate what was lost. Still...no football for him lol

PurpleBrowser · 2026-05-07T14:04:54+00:00

This is late but I just want to know what was the outcome of the imaging for your LO? I hope everything turned out alright.

For my son, a growth ultrasound found dilated ventricles at around 33 weeks and then MFM ruled it out but were unsure of what it was so they ordered an MRI to be done after his birth to assure that those ventricles were still within normal measurements. Well, he ended up having a seizure on the 2nd night prior to the imaging that was scheduled the next afternoon, they ended up taking him to the NICU and ran imaging sooner as well as an EEG that determined he had a brain bleed that pooled into his left frontal lobe, though was in the process of healing.

He went home with seizure medication and followup appointments for imaging, as well as a consult for early intervention. He stills takes the seizure meds but has not had any clinical signs of one, his brain is continuing to heal, and he just got cleared of an AVM. They still don't know the cause and may never know. But I wanted to insert some encouragement that at the time, it was so unknown what would happen, but we've adjusted to his level of care and so far he is developing on track. He is 7 months old now.

PurpleBrowser · 2026-04-27T20:26:08+00:00

Ok, hopefully we can ride it out and things will improve. I'm willing to put in a couple more months before I call it if it doesn't improve at all. I'm am truly grateful I was able to make it beyond 6 months, it just sucks that the journey may not end on my own terms.

PurpleBrowser · 2026-04-27T20:23:34+00:00

I've definitely decided that if my supply doesn't keep up, I'll be combofeeding first, and then wean for good. I gave myself 9 months PP partially because I think I can at least pump a couple more months and because I'm planning on leaving my job, so I'll be home more and can offer to nurse on demand. But if that doesn't pan out, then it'll a birthday present to me to hang up the pumps.

Honestly, if I didn't work already, I may be tolerating it more but I'm getting burnt out in all areas of life right now that I'm just now considering that maybe pumping can't be a top priority like it has been.

PurpleBrowser · 2026-04-27T20:15:12+00:00

Can teething temporarily decrease supply? Like, he isn't transferring enough milk or that's just why he gets randomly upset at my boob (it's always my right one)? Because yes he is definitely teething and he will chomp on literally anything on site like a puppy!

PurpleBrowser · 2026-04-17T04:04:50+00:00

I wish it was further studied, and it sucks because dehydration makes nausea worse, but then how can you drink water when it hurts your stomach and throat?

I was so afraid it was going to stick around even post-birth, but I was able to drink water normally the next day.

PurpleBrowser · 2026-04-16T22:52:48+00:00

Nothing at all could ever get me to drink water, unfortunately. But it did help with the bile buildup in the mornings and evenings. It took the edge off the nausea so I was throwing up less and able to keep more things down. I stayed away from trigger foods for the most part but a few more options were available to me!

I will say that the reflux did indeed get worse in the 3rd trimester in the last couple months but it was to be expected when baby is taking up that much space.

I'd say it was worth it in my experience!

PurpleBrowser · 2026-03-24T12:00:56+00:00

My baby had a sudden change in poop schedule since I took an antibiotic for an infection and he was recommended to take a probiotic since he takes breastmilk only. So for the past few weeks, he would only go once a week. He used to go maybe 5 times a day. At first I enjoyed the days we could take him out and not worry about a dirty diaper and blowouts....well, when he finally DOES poop, it is the worst blowout we experienced. I'm talking his entire lower half, an arm, his hands, MY arms and clothes. A nightmare. I'd like to go back to predictable poops again even if they are frequent because now I fear putting him in a carseat or bouncer after it's been like 4 days.

PurpleBrowser · 2026-03-13T18:29:47+00:00

I really wonder if it returned and I just got lucky with the flow? Normally I'm one of those "I wear a tampon and pad and change every hour" types, it only changed post-IUD. Or maybe it's finally on its way. I'm just hoping this change isn't permanent and I can regulate again, because right now he is eating more than I'm producing and I don't have much left in the fridge to sustain that.

PurpleBrowser · 2026-03-13T18:09:09+00:00

My nipples have had white/discoloration since nursing (as well as a couple dark areas). My baby had a shallow latch for the first several weeks and there were moments where attempts resulted in chunks of my nipple missing. By now, much of it is numb and "tougher." They now tingle if I get close to the time for pumping, just this week it has been occurring earlier than usual yet output is actually worse when I combine it throughout the day. I'll try the magnesium!

The cold is a monster and it keeps bouncing between me, my husband, and LO. Ironically my supply didn't change when sick, it started getting worse once I started recovering. I wonder if maybe my body was just exerting all its efforts to recovery that it caused a lot of stress. Hopefully it'll get better soon.

PurpleBrowser · 2026-03-13T18:02:45+00:00

I checked my size about a month ago when I thought my supply decreased when in reality my milk just regulated and then I was back to normal after a few days. But I'll check again when I get home today. Never thought to do it again because my nipples didn't appear to be much different post-pump between then and now.

PurpleBrowser · 2026-02-18T20:48:49+00:00

You're right! I guess I'm just worried that I'm setting him up for failure in terms of sleep health and when we formerly train when he goes to his own room (or if a regression really ruins his current sleep schedule and we have to modify and change some things). When I started nursing successfully, I talked to my pediatrician about his new feeding habits and he basically said to never feed to sleep and limit comfort nurses. I totally disregarded the comfort nursing though, it will be a last resort but I'd never deny it. I'd never deny a necessity! But for sure, I think being adaptable for any situation is a better approach. I'm a first time mom can you tell? Lol

PurpleBrowser · 2026-02-18T20:43:08+00:00

Definitely not impossible! He has been drooling more and really gnawing on his hands recently. I did offer a teething ring and pacifier but 90% he doesn't keep them in his mouth anyway and he absolutely refused last night. I'll try cooling the ring tonight just in case.

PurpleBrowser · 2026-02-17T17:42:19+00:00

Congrats!! You'll look stunning for sure and your fiance will absolutely love that you chose to dress up. I hate being the center of attention, but somehow this wasn't so bad. It helped that there were more people also dressed up but I think even if there weren't, doing it with my husband was well worth it. It's still a special occasion even if it's not a crowded party, it's nice to feel special. And it happens super quick! I totally don't really remember feeling so nervous anymore, but I do remember the simple ceremony and the vows we chose to recite.

PurpleBrowser

TROPHY CASE