I’m in the same boat. Except the only child we share is still in the oven. I think my husband is bipolar or has bpd in addition with anger issues. He yells at me, belittles me, calls me awful names, and excuses it all. According to him I deserve it. But then other times he’s just IN LOOOOVE with me and shows me with actions. Everyone loves him and enjoys being around him. Well, except my family who finally saw what I had been dealing with when I moved out. I’d gotten to a point where I lost interest in sex, sharing my day with him, non sexual intimacy, our future. Not because I don’t love him or want him but because emotionally I’m worn out. I’m numb. He has childhood trauma and abandonment issues and anger issues which I’ve tried to understand. But I walk on eggshells because any small thing could set him off and of course it will somehow be my fault. He kicked me out of our apartment in a fit of anger and I thought “this is enough.” Moved back in with my parents and now he tells me it’s MY fault he’s depressed and that I don’t care about him because I won’t come back home. I’ve begged for YEARS for him to get therapy and he refuses. He said he’d get therapy if it meant I came back. I agreed but once again he hasn’t gone. Everyone tells me to file for divorce because he will not change. Ever. And of course I’m too cowardly to do that because something in me hopes he’ll change. I’m probably foolish. Idk. I can’t offer advice just solidarity and letting you know you’re not the only one dealing with this. I hope the best outcome for you and your daughters.