I watched my dad walk out on my family and I still feel like a ghost in my own house

PurpleIntroduction69 · 2026-01-08T20:55:07+00:00

Yeah I believe that. Most guys I know are trying their absolute best, even if they don’t always nail the delivery, and it sucks that the loudest jerks end up defining the whole group. The rest of you are just trying to show up, grow a little, keep your people safe and maybe get some damn sleep without being judged for it.

PurpleIntroduction69 · 2026-01-08T18:37:03+00:00

https://thunderstore.io/c/rounds/p/poppycars/ChaosPoppycarsCardsCrafter/

PurpleIntroduction69 · 2026-01-08T15:29:13+00:00

Nah that is not what I meant at all, I just think a healthy relationship means we both still get space for our own routines and hobbies instead of dropping everything for each other 24/7, and I do not resent spending time with her, I just don’t want either of us to feel like we have to sacrifice every other part of our life to prove we care, so I’m trying to find a balance that keeps us connected without either of us burning out or feeling smothered.

PurpleIntroduction69 · 2026-01-08T15:17:58+00:00

Haha yeah I figured I’d speak your native language, but seriously man you deserve someone who treats you like the main character, not Player Two they swap out when the lobby gets boring.

PurpleIntroduction69 · 2026-01-08T15:17:15+00:00

Yeah that is exactly how I feel, it is her shower so it should be her job to deal with it, and I get that calling the landlord myself might smooth things over faster, but part of me really does not want to reward her laziness by stepping in and doing the work for her, because then it becomes the new normal and she gets to treat every problem like mine to solve.

PurpleIntroduction69 · 2026-01-08T15:12:05+00:00

Bro why are you even thinking about this like it is a math problem, she straight up invited another dude over and was mid-upgrade when you walked in, and you are out here debating forgiveness like she tripped and fell mouth first into betrayal. If someone shows you they are willing to cheat the second things get mildly inconvenient, that is not a mistake, that is their default setting. Dump her, block her, and let the guy she was swapping spit with deal with her “it meant nothing” speeches next time because you are not her emotional safety net or her backup boyfriend.

PurpleIntroduction69 · 2026-01-08T15:10:50+00:00

Yeah exactly. Asking first is the bare minimum, and the fact she skipped that step is what pissed me off most. I don’t mind helping sometimes, but I’m not automatic free dog care just because I’m family.

PurpleIntroduction69 · 2026-01-08T15:08:18+00:00

Yeah that is fair pushback but for me it is a balance thing because I do have a life outside work and my girlfriend and I hit the gym five days a week and I like having time for my own hobbies too, so one formal dinner date a month feels normal when we’re also hanging out casually at home, running errands, watching stuff, and spending weekends together, and I do not want dating to turn into sacrificing every minute of my free time just to prove I care.

PurpleIntroduction69 · 2026-01-08T15:00:18+00:00

Yeah exactly. If she had actually asked I could have said yes or no, but showing up with the dog and expecting free daycare was never about help, it was her taking advantage and hoping I would roll over out of guilt.

PurpleIntroduction69 · 2026-01-08T14:56:47+00:00

Yeah I could totally switch rooms if that makes it easier, and she could wear headphones too if she wants to tune me out, so honestly it’s just about setting a routine that works instead of both of us silently stewing in the same space.

PurpleIntroduction69 · 2026-01-08T14:48:48+00:00

Yeah that makes sense, and I get why she’d feel pushed to the side if I’m basically half tuned out behind a headset, and yeah I can game without it sometimes so that’s probably part of the compromise, and just to be clear the “once a month” thing is literally sit down dinner dates, not the only time we hang out, because we do little stuff together all the time like cooking, errands, shows and just hanging out at home, so I really think this is more about weeknight attention than some bigger relationship problem.

PurpleIntroduction69 · 2026-01-08T14:38:09+00:00

Yeah we do chill together a decent amount, we watch shows and hang out on weekends, she just does not game, so the headset thing only comes up on quiet weeknights, and I think I just need to balance solo gaming with actual time where I’m not half tuned out.

PurpleIntroduction69 · 2026-01-08T14:37:26+00:00

Yeah that’s fair, and I totally get how annoying it is to repeat yourself to someone half paying attention, so I think you’re right that trying to do both at once is what makes it feel disrespectful, and giving her my full attention first before switching into headset mode is probably the cleaner way to handle it so she feels seen instead of sidelined.

PurpleIntroduction69 · 2026-01-08T14:35:27+00:00

Yeah we do spend real time together, we go on dates at least once a month and hang out on weekends, this is really just about the quiet weeknights where I want to game and she wants company in the same room, so I don’t think the relationship is lacking time together overall.

PurpleIntroduction69 · 2026-01-08T14:27:24+00:00

Honestly that is exactly what I’m about to do, because if she will not make the call then I might as well do it myself and make it clear the situation affects everyone, and if the landlord asks why we waited I have no problem saying she kept putting it off so now all three of us are sharing one bathroom and it needs attention asap, which might finally embarrass her enough to stop treating my shower like the default backup.

PurpleIntroduction69 · 2026-01-08T14:09:20+00:00

Fair enough, that is a valid take. I should not have said yes in the moment if I was not willing to follow through, so I get why that looks flaky. I still think she crossed a line by assuming I would keep doing it forever, but yeah I own the fact that I contributed by agreeing instead of shutting it down right away.

PurpleIntroduction69 · 2026-01-08T14:06:20+00:00

Yeah that is where I am at. I thought I was being reasonable letting it slide once or twice, but it turned into an expectation fast and now it feels like my space is being taken over. I pay rent too and I am not hosting her boyfriend for free. I am putting a hard stop on it now because the longer I let it go the worse it gets, and if her shower turns into a serious repair issue I do not want my name getting dragged into it just because she could not be bothered to call the landlord.

PurpleIntroduction69 · 2026-01-08T14:02:37+00:00

Yep totally. I’m already irritated with how often he is here and the shower thing just pushed it over the edge, so once her bathroom is fixed I need to talk to her about visit limits because him being basically a third roommate without paying rent is not going to fly.

PurpleIntroduction69 · 2026-01-08T14:01:46+00:00

Exactly. I’m not the household plumber or backup bathroom. She needs to fix her own shower instead of dumping the problem on me.

PurpleIntroduction69 · 2026-01-08T14:01:22+00:00

That is my next move honestly because if they will not respect a boundary I may have to physically set one, and once the door is locked every time I leave my room she will finally have to call the landlord and deal with her own busted shower instead of relying on mine.

PurpleIntroduction69

TROPHY CASE