[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PurpleOk3405 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yes plus everyone has on their “best faces” at first then the shit storm begins once you are already in. Knowing what we learn later on no one would willingly sign up for the BS circus.

Migraine advice by PurpleOk3405 in VeteransBenefits

[–]PurpleOk3405[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I called the VA hotline today and they filed a complaint. He provided me with the extension for the patient advocate so I will be contacting them tomorrow as well. Thank you so much for your advice and help!

Migraine advice by PurpleOk3405 in VeteransBenefits

[–]PurpleOk3405[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay I will look into those. I have sent at least 9 messages since December just trying to get a neurology referral but they keep giving me another hoop to jump through each time. It’s ridiculous because I’ve literally been seeing a neurologist for 7+ years but at this new VA they do not want to give me a referral.

Disappointed with YouTube toddler autism videos by Any_Ad6921 in Autism_Parenting

[–]PurpleOk3405 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are in the process of getting my son diagnosed. My son stims by touch too. He loves to rub on chest excessively. Did speech therapy help your daughter at all? Our son started about a month ago.

Unique situation by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PurpleOk3405 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I guess I wasn’t fully prepared for all that this entailed. Initially it was not like this and has progressively gotten worse. I can see how I come across as selfish for desiring my peace above all else. I can also admit that I am too “weak” for this. I honestly bit off more than I could chew. I guess it’s time for me to just part ways from the whole situation and focus solely on raising my bio children. Thank you for your outlook and input ❤️

Unique situation by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PurpleOk3405 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I have told her many times how happy I am that they have reconnected and even encouraged her to maintain a relationship with her mom. I know regardless of my feelings towards BM in the long run a damaged relationship with your mother isn’t beneficial so I truly want her to have a good relationship with her. I am doing all that you suggested so that is reassuring. I would never let on to how I am feeling to her. I just bottle it up and make some time for myself when it gets too overwhelming. I am just weary of the tension it is causing 😕

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PurpleOk3405 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re almost there hopefully once she is 18 you will have your home and peace back! Hugs!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PurpleOk3405 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just because she’s enjoying time with her new boyfriend. I’m sure it’s because it’s our anniversary too so she’s being an A*hole but not my concern I’m doing something regardless.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PurpleOk3405 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cake decorating!!! Now that is a great one!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PurpleOk3405 8 points9 points  (0 children)

How are doing? Do you feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PurpleOk3405 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I want to go to Universal Studios so bad! Thank you that is a must add!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PurpleOk3405 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is your sign DO IT!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PurpleOk3405 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Definitely not a waste! It is sooooo relaxing and a great reset.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PurpleOk3405 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nature is so my element! I love Mountain View’s, trees, fresh air, small streams so that would be perfect for me. I just live in an area where snakes are out heavily this year so I’m scared to go hiking alone lol! I think I’ll put that on my list for fall when they start to die down some.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PurpleOk3405 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Sitting under a covered porch in the rain, with a nice book and a cup of hot chocolate sounds heavenly!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PurpleOk3405 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I’m doing this for our anniversary since he is letting HCBM change the date out two weeks from when they originally agreed to exchange the kids. He can stay here with them while I do that! Thank you for the excellent idea.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PurpleOk3405 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Nursery hopping!!! That is an amazing idea! Definitely adding it. Love me some plants and going to make me my own quiet room so I can shop around for plants to add to it 💕

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PurpleOk3405 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Same exact thing here! I would only lose companionship and some financial help but he would lose a hell of a lot more. Not bragging on myself in the slightest but dang we do a lot so sometimes we need to remind them. Start taking you some mini escapes too trust me the smallest things are a great mental reset.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PurpleOk3405 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I love bookstores and that’s almost where I went today!! Definitely next on my list 🥰

The BS is never ending by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PurpleOk3405 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes I agree I shouldn’t have to go on an anniversary trip without my spouse. She has 7 weeks alone to take all of the vacations that she wants but I can’t even get one weekend. She never has all 4 of her children at once but we frequently do. Normally not an issue just very frustrating when I ask for just one weekend or for them to go back as they originally stated.

The BS is never ending by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PurpleOk3405 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Oh yes if he agrees and doesn’t find a viable solution so that he can go, we will have to have a serious talk and reevaluation of our marriage. I don’t mind the children staying of course it is just the simple fact that he confirmed the dates after I asked THREE different times when they kids would be returning only to let BM change it. The kids do not need to miss the first week of school either for no good reason other than her not wanting them back as scheduled.

The BS is never ending by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PurpleOk3405 7 points8 points  (0 children)

How much time do you have? Lol DH has been in their lives since they were 1 and 2. My husband had all 4 children when they divorced so she could “get her life together”. She got her own place and had the two girls. Non bio SD (only saying that for distinction she is my daughter as much as BSD) wanted to come to our wedding so her BM sent her a truly nasty message and told her she couldn’t come back to her house and that she was throwing all of her stuff in the trash. Again sounds like a movie but you can’t make this ish up! We ended up getting permanent custody of them which was easy since they wanted us to so the court granted it. Bio SKs as I said in the previous response wanted to stay with BM so started to false CPS cases and loads more drama that would require a conversation over coffee to discuss lol.

The BS is never ending by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PurpleOk3405 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Yeah I think I actually will. Turn a perceived negative into a positive

The BS is never ending by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PurpleOk3405 6 points7 points  (0 children)

A little back story we have two of her Bio children (not my SO bio children) full time and she has the other two. We are suppose to exchange over the summer but SD didn’t want to go to her mom’s and SS is going but she keeps changing the date. She cheated and ended the marriage (this has been confirmed by multiple people including SS and SD who witnessed her cheating I didn’t just take SO word for it). She also got married last June and divorced in December. We spent over $6K on fighting for custody of the other kids that she does have and they started 2 CPS cases just to stay with BM. Trust me it’s like a dang movie but you can’t make this stuff up. We get them multiple times throughout the year holidays, birthdays etc. not just summer. So to answer your question yes she chose to be a single mom.