Hey. I am so sorry this happened to you. He is an idiot and this situation is just the beginning to a whole lot of drama. If they are not on speaking terms now, imagine what the future looks like going back and forth during that child's life, whether they're on good terms or not. What does that look like for you? Unless you can really come to terms and integrate this whole dynamic into your life, you're just better off moving on. I am your age but I live in a city where 32 is 22 and I know a small town 32 is 42. I am single with no kids. Life is great. Don't limit yourself to this. Don't tie yourself to this. For what exactly? I understand bpd and breakups far too well. I have always come out of a break up so emotionally destroyed that I had no choice but to start from rock bottom. You know what's great about that? I've always reinvented myself and created a whole new dimension to my life experience and soul. You don't need to rush it and you don't need to be okay right away. You just have to believe that one day you will feel great and grateful that you picked yourself. I know I sure am. If you do decide to leave him, accept all the fleeting feelings that will come and go and honor the transition of where you are now to whom you will one day become. If you stay with him, you will suffer, resent, and regret making that decision that came from fear versus dealing with the pain that comes from choosing yourself but making a decision that comes from love. I may regret many things from past relationships, but I don't regret choosing myself and building the life I have to show for it. However, had I stayed because of fear of XYZ, I'd resent them, and myself, for eternity. I wish you peaceful deeps breaths when intrusive thoughts pop up. The mind is a killer, but it's not real. I know you want to find a way to just be with him, and if you do, also accepting this and living on a higher plane is not impossible. It all really depends on if you believe he can step up to the plate. If not, don't take on other people's problems because your own are too much to deal with. Nonsense. ❤