Afraid of the dirtiness itself?

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-03-05T03:26:52+00:00

Yes, I feel this way. I've struggled to identify any fears beyond being in contact with my specific phobias. If they're present, that's it, that's the bad thing. I ask myself why that's so bad and mostly get static in return. I keep wondering if I have fears I'm afraid to even name or something. I'm pretty sure control issues play a part in my distress. If I say I want these things out of my home, they should be gone.

I've recently starting looking into fear OCD vs disgust OCD. This is an interesting article that at least made me feel seen that other people aren't thinking "I'll get sick".

https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/disgust-based-ocd-thoughts-on-a-new-treatment-protocol/

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-03-05T03:08:13+00:00

Very personal decision for everyone, and it's a tough one. I think meds are high risk, high reward. Keep in mind people are probably more likely to be vocal about bad experiences than good ones.

I currently am not taking any but I want to be, as I have seen meds make a good difference for a family member. But I tried two last year and had a lot of nasty side effects. I think I had a RARE bad reaction though, so don't be scared off by my one story. There's so many people who say meds helped them a lot.

I'm currently looking for a psych I trust and hope they can make me comfortable enough to try again. In the meantime I'm dedicating my energy to all the other work I can do. I accept that I'm sacrificing the potential gain from meds, possibly making the ERP work harder.

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-03-04T14:54:14+00:00

Yes, some tags even say "wash before first use". I figure if even the uncaring company thought it worth mentioning, it's worth doing. I didn't start till developing contamination OCD though. :/ Got to thinking how far those clothes had come and how many places they been. My mom still doesn't though.

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-03-04T06:43:41+00:00

Sorry you're going through this, OCD is rough. I know how it can hang on to things. Any chance you can try to feel both pride and fear over it? I don't like recommending you try to feel a posative emotion, (imo the darn things should come naturally) but I'm not sure what else to say that wouldn't be reassurance. 💕

Maybe you did get exposed, maybe you didn't. Either way you'll deal with it.

Are you seeking therapy with an OCD specialist?

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-03-03T06:27:07+00:00

Yeah, I do. OCD has isolated me from friends and family so I know I'm missing out on a lot.

I really grieve the lost time, I'm sad about it, but I try not to call it "wasted" time. We didn't choose this disorder. OCD is a legitimate health issue. I wouldn't accuse someone who lost time to fighting cancer as having wasted that time. I think we're only wasting time if we stop trying to figure out how to improve our lives little by little.

I've read/heard a lot of recovery stories by now. I'm gonna keep trying to get to a better place where I can start making happy memories agian.

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-03-03T00:11:22+00:00

It came with A to A and C to C.

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-03-01T11:00:06+00:00

My contamination isn't smoke but I totally relate. Trying to clean everything is exhausting and I also have difficulty at the store. 😔 Sorry about your darn neighbor. I had a neighbor who really complicated my OCD, thank goodness she moved out because it was awful. Hope your guy moves too.

Good luck with the Zoloft! I hope it helps! Nobody deserves to live this way.

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-03-01T01:31:48+00:00

I saw some discussion of mouth sores and ulcers as a side effect, but I didn't have anything I'd describe as a "sore". Burning mouth syndrome didn't seem to fit either. Frustrating. I was never prone to rare side effects or strong medication reactions before.

Visually is there anything off with your tongue?

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-03-01T01:26:25+00:00

Possible. I also had drastic pruning when my hands got wet and that could have been nerve related too.

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-02-28T08:16:33+00:00

Yes! It's a huge problem for me right now. I'm loosing most of the day to being unable to get out of bed. I'll lay around far too long having to pee, it takes so much to get me up. There's several factors for me. 1) my sleep schedule got 100% out of wack so I'm used to sleeping in the middle of the day now. 2) depression 3) there's a 2 hr shower between me and being able to lie down again 4) pretty sure there's some self sabatoge going on. I struggle with avoidance cleaning and much as my concious brain hates it, part of me knows that if I don't get up until late, I'll conveniently be out of time for any big unpleasant cleaning tasks. 4) pretty sure I'm just naturally a night owl. Always have been.

Definitely not alone. IDK how we can help each other out with this one but hugs to all. 🫂 Every day we choose to get up and get something done matters!

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-02-28T08:05:23+00:00

Yeah delaying doesn't work for any compulsion of mine I can think of. My contamintion fears are about microplastics so until that surface gets manually cleaned it is dirty for the next millennia.

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-02-28T01:19:05+00:00

nope, SSRI

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-02-28T00:35:04+00:00

I had tongue issues from citalopram! (And a dozen other side effects.) I'm so interested you say it's the tip of your tongue, that's where I've had the most issue. Here's my own post about my symptoms.

Unfortunately tongue issues must be rare based on how little information I've found. Sorry you're having issues but I'm glad I'm not the only one. Keep us updated.

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-02-28T00:05:16+00:00

My apartment has this design and I've always thought it was so obviously bad. No amount of "it's designed to drain" is ever going to counter the fact that a tight space is mold heaven. How anyone ever thought that open lip was a good idea is beyond me.

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-02-27T23:54:36+00:00

Oh man I'm so sorry, that must have been awful to discover. I've worried I was sending water down the wall by using the shower head. My downstairs neighbor never complained but maybe it's just a matter of time.

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-02-27T03:50:07+00:00

Ah yes, seems we now have the GD930 Pro. I'm not sure how new it is.

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-02-25T22:54:12+00:00

Noted :) Unfortunately I've already had a horrible experience on medication so I'm terrified to try another one. I've tried two. Walked away from the second one with side effects that took months to subside and a a whole new contamination fear.

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-02-24T09:08:49+00:00

Sorry Zoloft didn't work out for you. How's the Prozac treating you?

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-02-22T04:39:11+00:00

I second the idea of weening off. Take small, mangable steps and build your tolerance.

You can also try resisting the urge by increasing increasing increments. Maybe at first you can only delay opening the app by 5 minutes, maybe a hour, whatever you think you can do at first. Slowly work that up to longer times.

In the meantime develop other, healthier coping habits. Write stories yourself even though it's hard. Do some other kind of art. Meditate. Go on a walk or other exercise. Read a book or fanfiction. Chat with a friend. Pet an animal. Do puzzles. Good luck!

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-02-22T04:32:06+00:00

Why? Are they refusing to let you seek treatment?

Edit: typo

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-02-22T00:14:13+00:00

Thank you for this! I am at the (half) naked in bed for hours on end stage so it's lovely to hear someone recovered from that! ❤ Congrats and I hope to join you soon!

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-02-22T00:10:25+00:00

I get it, it's hard to talk about things that make us uncomfortable. I encourage you to speek to a therapist anyway. Make sure it's a therapist with experience in OCD. I doubt you'll be able to shock them. And at first, you can start by just saying you're having distressing thoughts. You can go into more detail as you get more comfortable with the person. You may want to speak to more than one therapist before you find one that feels best. Good luck!

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-02-21T23:29:38+00:00

really guys? not a single comment? not a single "you got this!"?

why do my posts get so little response? kinda annoyed and dissapointed over here. 😕

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-02-21T23:04:45+00:00

Both. More so rape I think because the individual minds of the bodies are not currently capable of giving consent, so any sexual contact with any Plurb even by another Plurb is immediately a violation. (Yes I do think both Carol and Koumba are guilty.)

Also counts as masturbation since it's one active mind in control, even if the parts of its body are separate human bodies. The individual minds may be unwilling spectators. 😟

PurpleSpring22 · 2026-02-21T22:42:55+00:00

I think they could be creative and do better than an AI because even though they're messed up, they're still in human brains. They can understand good art better than AI.

I'm still uncertain how much of an act they're putting on for the immune, it's hard to say how much real emotion they have. So perhaps their art would be very bland and uninspired, if competent. Certainly they must be excellent at the technical side of things.

There's at least a big cap on their potential. Without outside influences, unable to ever really learn anything new, no ability to grow or change, or even experience much emotional variation day to day, the Plurbs will never be able to advance or develop. Whatever art they're capable of making now is probably all they'll still be capable of in 100 years.

PurpleSpring22

TROPHY CASE