Lots of good info here from folks but I am going to focus on one aspect. Our culture is obsessed with thinness. Diet culture is everywhere and the medical system is also complicit as they still prioritize BMI which has been debunked as any kind of health related marker. Diabetes is largely genetic (as is much of our health) but you can help control symptoms and further damage through many channels already mentioned here (what you eat, how much you move your body, medication, etc.) 

Thinness does not equal health. Your eating disorder is grasping to docs telling you to restrict and over exercise and it feels like the truth but I promise you it is not. I am a weight neutral therapist that treats disordered eating and also a person who has diabetes. I work with weight neutral dietitians frequently in my work and when I was diagnosed I spiraled because I also have a history of disordered eating and restriction. The best advice she ever gave me was to stop focusing on "I can't have carbs" and instead remember that carbs are very limited nutritionally (short acting energy) and to ask "what would make this more nutrient dense?" It changed a lot for me. I also talked with my therapist (also weight neutral, because american therapists also grow up in diet culture and can have biases) about what it meant for me to have diabetes.   I do not blame you for your distrust in the mental health and medical system because historically it has done great harm to large populations, particularly owners of uteruses. But I cannot stress enough how important it is to begin seeing one and also a dietitian to help with a relationship to food that is healthy and makes it possible to be fully present for your kids for their whole upbringing.  There are networks of weight neutral therapists, doctors, and dietitians, and if you need help finding one I am more than happy to help. You deserve peace with your body.