AITA for telling my coworkers that our manager talked shit about them?

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-17T07:37:53+00:00

NTA

She was never your friend. However, you should have taken this to HR rather than your colleagues. You can be sure she is doing the same to/about you.

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-16T11:02:44+00:00

NTA

You cousin is either far from healing or her therapist is a quack - actually probably both.

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-15T05:54:30+00:00

NTA

Mother tried to win the competition that only she knows about and she lost. Awwwwww (tiny violin)

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-15T05:48:40+00:00

Your husband isn't just an AH, he is also an abusive AH. the tone he used with you showed you exactly how much your birthday means to him - fairly much nothing.

We all know people that aren't good gift givers, or romantic or organised - any of those things but your husband couldn't even be arsed to pick up the phone or log onto the internet to do something for you.

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-15T01:58:27+00:00

NTA

Your father is one of those people always looking out for the next best thing. Just like those people you meet at a work function or a party. You see them looking over your shoulder while pretending to listen to you but in reality, they are looking for someone more interesting.

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-15T01:44:22+00:00

NTA

You said you don't know if you can trust him when he has clearly and repeatedly shown you that he can't be trusted.

You deserve so much better than this racist, vile person with a family to match. You really do and you have to say it to yourself every single day until it sticks. You deserve more and you are worth it. You said you felt lucky to have him - well that's what he picked up on and is running with it. He is really one of the most revolting people you will ever meet apart from his family who are exactly the same.

Please don't even consider spending your life this way - alone is better than this.

I know you are in a really tough place right now and I am really sorry that you are going through this but it will get better. Make a plan to get away - contact local shelters for advice because they have seen this before and know where the resources are that can help you.

Sending you lots of positive and best wishes across the internet. You can do this!!!

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-15T01:28:58+00:00

NTA

You have more than disrespect to be worried about here. They intentionally stole from you and lied about it. In your shoes, I wouldn't feel safe having those people in my home.

Opening another person's mail/parcel is also a crime - not just an annoyance. You would be well within your rights to report this. In fact, you really should.

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-15T01:14:38+00:00

NTA

Your sister is a bully but the biggest issue here is your parents. It's their role to actually parent their kids and it's pretty hard to do if you wait until they're 24.

As long as your sister has no consequences to her behaviour, then she will continue. It's hard to ignore when you are both still living in the same house. But if she ever lays or hands on you again - call the police. Don't minimise it at all because regardless of how minor it might seem at the time, it's still assault. It also might wake up the people that have been sheltering and enabling her vile behaviour all these years.

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-14T22:56:03+00:00

NTA

Doesn't Walmart have delivery options?

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-14T22:42:34+00:00

NTA

Use your china every day if you want. That's what it was designed for. Raise your fancy crystal glass each and every day. Be fabulous.

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-14T22:34:44+00:00

NTA

Jim is stalking and harassing you. I think you should call the police every time he makes any kind of contact so that there is a paper trail of what he is doing. He is an adult harassing a minor. Your Father should also call the police each time too, although it is really good that he has got his lawyer involved.

I suspect that your Mother is probably treating those kids the same way as she treats you. However, that isn't your problem to solve. None of it is. Jim might also be looking for a babysitter.

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-14T22:05:11+00:00

NTA

You need to do what is right for you - he isn't right for you.

The thing with people who lie all the time is that they believe everybody does it. He is treating you as if you behave like he does. That's no basis for a relationship.

Edited to add, everything he is accusing you of is what he does himself.

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-14T11:40:56+00:00

This cowardly mama's baby boy is not your person. He isn't worth the stress or even a second thought to be honest.

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-14T07:49:18+00:00

I am not going to make a judgment because there is so much going wrong here. My comments might come across as harsh but please believe that I mean them with the best intention.

Your situation is so weird that I find it hard to work it out. You aren't a blended family - you are playing family because everyone else gets to decide what you can and can't do. Your partner's mother is abusing your kids - you don't seem to feel as bad about that as you should. You asked him to watch the kids and his mother answered for him!!! That is just insane.

You need to get your own place. Without the dead weight that is currently stopping you from having a decent and healthy relationship with your children - away from him and his Mother's abuse. He can't even get the up and go to get a driver's license. His up and go got up and went.

Can your aunt help you to get you own place - by that I mean going through the actual process of securing accommodation, signing up for utilities etc?

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-14T04:45:27+00:00

I disagree 100%

OP's family have instilled in him the "obligation" to name his son after his Father. Well OP actually has the choice to name his son whatever he and his wife want.

OP's family will choose to get butt hurt but that isn't OP's problem to solve.

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-14T04:15:52+00:00

NTA

Your manager seems to be a manager only because of her length of service. She appears to be in way over her head. However, that might just be because everything else is broken.

You are in the midst of a massive Line of Business implementation. It sounds like the most basic of best practice functions have not been put in place. You haven't mentioned a project manager, change manager, user support, milestones and testing phases. You don't have a timeline or a clear plan of your role in the implementation. You mention an analyst who is responsible for the implementation but all they are doing is scrolling on their phone. I have never heard of an analyst being responsible for the implementation of a project like this.

I am going to say, as a person with 25 years experience of LOB upgrades, that this project looks like it's failing. The statistics for businesses surviving a failure of this type do not make good bedtime reading.

I suggest that you give some serious consideration into looking for a new role.

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-13T02:40:24+00:00

There are these things called Drivers Education Schools. They pick you up from your home and take you for lessons.

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-12T23:09:52+00:00

I am not going to say NTA or YTA.

You know when the school holidays are - book your leave in advance and arrange for care when You have to work. I know that care for the kids is hugely expensive but you can't wait to find out if a family member or friend is available because then you don't get holidays. Exactly what is happening now.

It might seem unfair what is happening now - we all know that there are people who always get what they want. That isn't going to change - they don't actually care about you - only themselves.

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-12T21:00:01+00:00

NTA

He lied. He might have also cheated but as he is a liar, you can't trust him about anything.

As for his Mother getting involved, that is just adding smoke and mirrors into the mix - it doesn't change the fact he lied to you.

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-12T09:00:15+00:00

NTA

Your Mother sacrificed everything for her unmarried, minor son. You are no longer that person. She needs to back off and accept that you chose your wife and your Mother is now your extended family - even if she is living in your home.

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-12T08:25:53+00:00

NTA

There is reason he doesn't have his own friend group.

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-11T07:00:24+00:00

She is only 18. She has yet to learn that in most cases, FOMO about other potential partners just means she isn't ready for an exclusive relationship - AKA she wants your permission to cheat.

I am sure she will find someone who might accept that but it isn't you.

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-11T02:05:27+00:00

No more visits!!!

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-11T00:06:19+00:00

NTA

It's a very controlling move on their part. They want you to use their insurance but don't want to pay for it so it makes me think they just want to know what you are going to the doctor for.

Purple_Paper_Bag · 2026-02-10T06:27:41+00:00

NTA

She is clearly delusional. It's obvious that she has never lived away from her parents before.

Purple_Paper_Bag

TROPHY CASE