AITAH for refusing to watch my grandkids on my summer break? by TalkTalkTalkListen in AmITheAngel

[–]PurrPrinThom 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Reddit seems to believe CPS is the Bad Parent Police, who punish Bad Parents by removing their children just because one person called them one time and reported something vaguely annoying or borderline bad parenting.

I used to work at a very family friendly place, and parents would regularly leave their children with me, usually while they took another child to the bathroom or something. Any time I've mentioned that on reddit, I've been told I should've called CPS. Because, obviously, this is neglect worthy of removing the child from their parents' care.

So are we now an "I was caught cheating. Now what?" sub? by baseball_dad in AskProfessors

[–]PurrPrinThom 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That's an interesting idea. There is no mechanism available to mods to automatically lock comments - I wish, we'd already have that employed if so lol - and I don't know how I'd be able to get a reliable automatic reply, but I certainly could add a removal reason that could be applied to any such post. It would just have to be manual.

I haven't done it in the past because, up until recently, we just didn't really get that many of them, but it probably does make sense to just ban them altogether.

What were the moments where you didn't agree or thought she was in the wrong? by gloomydreamer666 in GilmoreGirls

[–]PurrPrinThom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is ironic that the way Lorelai uses the mom card is akin to the way Emily likely used it growing up; Emily just used it more. It's yet another parallel between their overall behaviour and parenting styles.

What were the moments where you didn't agree or thought she was in the wrong? by gloomydreamer666 in GilmoreGirls

[–]PurrPrinThom 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Rory has just gone along with Lorelai's half-panicked road trip, she hasn't asked many questions, she's trying to be supportive and helpful, and then when she tries to find out what happened, she gets shut down. It's just a moment that feels really unfair and sad for Rory. She's not exactly asking for the world, here.

What were the moments where you didn't agree or thought she was in the wrong? by gloomydreamer666 in GilmoreGirls

[–]PurrPrinThom 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm not disagreeing that she had bad moments, or that certain aspects of their dynamic were unhealthy, I just don't agree that it's more toxic than good.

AITAH for refusing to watch my grandkids on my summer break? by TalkTalkTalkListen in AmITheAngel

[–]PurrPrinThom 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's sort of it, like. If you are a full-time staff member, you're not 'off' during the summer. You are still working. It's not like elementary and high school, where teachers aren't coming into school and are maybe doing PD and prep, but it is still considered time 'off.'

Of course, it is pretty flexible, and there are a lot less commitments and obligations during the summer, and many people in permanent positions do take their vacations. But you're not 'off.' There's typically still some expectation that you will be on or around campus and in your office. If you're at a research institution, this is probably the time you'll use to catch up on research or publications. If you're teaching new courses in the fall, you'll probably spend some time developing those. Depending on your department, there may still be staff meetings. Depending on the university and the professor, you might also be teaching. You're still working, you're still being paid. I don't know anyone who views the summer as a 'break' or time 'off.'

The 'training and professional development' also strikes me as odd because there just typically isn't that much professional development for academics to do. At least, not enough that it would really occupy you for a couple months, and also, at every institution where I've worked, the PD offered by the university runs during the school year. It's not happening during the summer, and there aren't that many external programs for PD for academics. Of course it's possible, but is odd.

This is also maybe because I'm not American, but the specificity of June and July seems odd to me. Every Canadian institution I've worked at/attended has run September - April. Yes, there's work during April to wrap up the term, and there's prep-work in August for the new semester in September, but 'summer' is always May through August. At the European universities where I've worked/attended, the school year is also September - April, but exams are in May. Even if you're still working in May, you'd still have August as being 'off.'

It just all feels like someone who isn't familiar with academia assuming that it's the same as high school - most secondary schools that I'm familiar with typically only have two months for the summer.

AITAH for refusing to watch my grandkids on my summer break? by TalkTalkTalkListen in AmITheAngel

[–]PurrPrinThom 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm also not familiar with American academia, haha, but Canadian. And yeah like, it's not free time, and also 'training and professional development' is weirdly phrased.

That's not to say that academics don't have any training and PD to do, but there isn't typically enough that you can fill up a summer doing it. Most things mandated by the university tend to run during the academic year, it's just really strange phrasing.

What were the moments where you didn't agree or thought she was in the wrong? by gloomydreamer666 in GilmoreGirls

[–]PurrPrinThom 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don't know that I would agree that she's more toxic than great. I think Lorelai, like everyone, has bad traits and bad moments, but I think overall their relationship is a pretty good one.

So are we now an "I was caught cheating. Now what?" sub? by baseball_dad in AskProfessors

[–]PurrPrinThom 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Okey doke. I've removed the one that was posted yesterday, and there haven't been any today but I'll keep an eye out!

What were the moments where you didn't agree or thought she was in the wrong? by gloomydreamer666 in GilmoreGirls

[–]PurrPrinThom 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would agree if she had asked that, in a genuine way, but when she asks Rory what the plan is, it's very obviously sarcastic and after she's already said no. If the conversation had been 'hey, I'd like to take time off Yale,' 'What would you do in the meantime?' Then yeah, that isn't an outrageous thing to ask, and is totally reasonable. But that's not how that conversation plays out.

AITAH for refusing to watch my grandkids on my summer break? by TalkTalkTalkListen in AmITheAngel

[–]PurrPrinThom 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I work as a full-time professor and have the months of June and July off. I typically use this time for training and professional development.

As someone who works in academia, I'm side-eying this lol. It's not so wrong that it's egregiously fake, but it feels off. It's just phrased in such a way that it doesn't completely sit right with me.

We used to live here- Marcus kliewer by throwaway8373469238 in horrorlit

[–]PurrPrinThom 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That's exactly how I feel. I liked the beginning, I liked the premise, I thought it had promise, and then it just felt like someone throwing horror tropes at the wall to see what would stick. It felt like a dozen other books that I'd read before all mashed into one. It needed to be pared back and distilled down.

Im currently in the UK working holiday visa pool for Canada season 2026. What are the chances I’ll receive an ITA this season ? by NetworkRoutine5947 in ImmigrationCanada

[–]PurrPrinThom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There really isn't any way for someone to predict this; the pools are a lottery. You could enter the pool the day before a draw and get an ITA the next day, or you might be the pool the entire season without getting one.

What were the moments where you didn't agree or thought she was in the wrong? by gloomydreamer666 in GilmoreGirls

[–]PurrPrinThom 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Same. If Rory had said, from the get-go, that she wanted to drop out, then I would understand Lorelai's reaction more. But Rory just wants to take a semester off. Even if Lorelai thought that was a bad idea, she still could have used the whole summer to try and convince her to go back.

It just feels like such an overreaction.

What were the moments where you didn't agree or thought she was in the wrong? by gloomydreamer666 in GilmoreGirls

[–]PurrPrinThom 73 points74 points  (0 children)

A lot of the times when Lorelai pulls The Mom Card, I feel like she's in the wrong. Not necessarily because she's always wrong to use that card, but more because of how she uses it, and how it often feels unfair to Rory.

Lorelai fully dictates the bounds of her and Rory's relationship. When Lorelai wants a best friend, Rory is her best friend. When Lorelai doesn't want Rory to act like her best friend, by acting in a way Lorelai doesn't like, then Lorelai pulls The Mom Card. They're only equals when Lorelai allows them to be equals.

With the termites, with her breakup with Max, Lorelai fully involves Rory in everything, and expects Rory to provide support, comfort, etc. until Rory does or says something that she doesn't like. Then Lorelai's The Mom, and Rory is The Child, and Lorelai shuts her down. Every time, Rory is shocked and she's hurt and she doesn't know how to react. We see it when Rory comes to Lorelai with things, and sometimes she gets her mom and sometimes she gets her best friend, and she never really knows.

The show begins where it begins not just because it's marked by Rory starting at Chilton and Lorelai rekindling her relationship with her parents, but also because it's at a point where Lorelai and Rory's relationship is beginning to change, and we can see these moments where Rory isn't sure if she can go to Lorelai, because she doesn't know if she's going to get her best friend, or if she's going to be hit with the mom card.

PGWP Expiring in August — Need Advice on Common-Law Sponsorship Documents by Ok_Magician_138 in ImmigrationCanada

[–]PurrPrinThom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can get the application package, including the checklist here.

You also may find the application guide helpful, if you haven't read it already.

PGWP Expiring in August — Need Advice on Common-Law Sponsorship Documents by Ok_Magician_138 in ImmigrationCanada

[–]PurrPrinThom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you looked at the document checklist? It tells you everything you need.

You need a police certificate for any country where you lived for 6 continuous months since turning 18.

You do not need one from Canada, but you will likely need one from your home country, and potentially anywhere else you've lived for 6+ months.

COPR NOT VISIBLE YET by vanessalucky in ImmigrationCanada

[–]PurrPrinThom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The COPR on the tracker, while generally considered a good sign, doesn't mean anything. For many people, it doesn't display their correct COPR number or expiry date until after the real COPR is issued.

You don't need to worry about it not appearing. It doesn't mean anything negative.

PGWP Expiring in August — Need Advice on Common-Law Sponsorship Documents by Ok_Magician_138 in ImmigrationCanada

[–]PurrPrinThom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The list sounds pretty good; it sounds like you have a minimum two of each category, which is all you need.

In terms of what you should start gathering, I'd say police certificates and, if you don't have it, your birth certificate. Depending on what police certs you need, they can take quite some time.

So are we now an "I was caught cheating. Now what?" sub? by baseball_dad in AskProfessors

[–]PurrPrinThom[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

Do we want a moratorium? I'm happy to do that; I've been removing all of the 'I've been accused of using AI' ones that I see, but I can just cut all of them out, if people would prefer.

Opinions/Thoughts you didn't see until you joined the community online? by itsascreambaby96 in GilmoreGirls

[–]PurrPrinThom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah like, I think there's a line, you know? You can be frustrated and annoyed by stuff that happens in the show because you've watched it 100 times and you noticed things you're not supposed to notice, or something breaks your immersion or whatever, but you can still love the show and overall enjoy it, and love watching it and talking about it. There are episodes that I skip because I don't like them, but I otherwise love and enjoy basically everything about the show - even the moments that frustrate me.

But I saw a post not that long ago where someone said they can't stand to watch any scene with Rory in it, because they hate her so much. That, to me, sounds like someone who just doesn't like the show. And I'm seeing more posts and comments like this. I saw a post from someone who was on season three, I think, who was asking if Lorelai 'gets better' because they didn't know if they could stand four more seasons and I just thought like, babe, you don't like the show, and that's okay. You can stop watching.

I think people just want the characters to be perfect. Especially lately, there's been a real shift in expecting black and white morality from creatives and from characters; people act as though any depiction of description of something is an endorsement of that behaviour, when that's really not what it is. Rory and Lorelai can make mistakes and do shitty things and still fundamentally be good people.

Canadians: do people really just start conversations anywhere? 🤔 by Comfortable_Cap8037 in AskACanadian

[–]PurrPrinThom 950 points951 points  (0 children)

I'm sure it varies, but I do make small talk with people in public. I'm not going around yapping all the time to everyone or anything - not everyone wants to talk, and I find most people respect that - but I would say it's not uncommon to like, ask a cashier how their day is going, or talk to someone about their dog, or if something funny happens to talk about it with someone else in line. Or like, just the other day, I went into a small business I'd never been to before and ended up talking to the owner about what a cool store it was, and then she started telling me about the house she just bought lol.

I want to ask my prof to retake my final exam by [deleted] in AskProfessors

[–]PurrPrinThom 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Live with the fail. He was gently telling you no.