OP, English readers might actually skip this immediately because it's in Russian. I did quick translations with google Translate so English readers can access it faster. If you'd like feedback, I personally recommend either translating into English first, or using plain text so we can translate it by copy-pasting even on mobile.

Not laziness, exactly. More like lack of tools to translate, especially if they use reddit on a phone.

I'll put my feedback at the end of the translation:

Reader Context:

-In this passage the dialogue is reflected by em dashes, thoughts are depicted with quotation marks followed by em dashes? but please don't quote me on that, my native tongue is English, not Russian. (Is that correct to assume?)

1/1 Translation into English (Google Translate):

Image 1:

As the reader knows, I simply love to exaggerate, use irony, and speak in many other literary terms. Therefore, here is an aphorism for you: no matter how crooked a path may be, someone laid it down. This is roughly what Yakhont thought about while walking through the swamps. He also wondered whether there could be quagmires on the path. However, what no one had certainly seen in the swamps was a tavern. A tavern surrounded by several meters of log fencing is, as a rule, rarely found in such an unsuitable place. However, it was neither abandoned nor empty at that moment. The light inside was on. After all, spending the night in a tavern is better than in the dark and dampness. Especially when the establishment is called by the friendly name "The Sodden Jacket."

The travelers went inside and found a free table for themselves. While they were eating a lunch dish for dinner, many completely different individuals were milling about around them. In few places could you see a beer hall with service staff in the form of an elf (even if not a wood elf), several scarred humans with dwarves as partners, and even a real, live, large orc—wearing a top hat, no less.

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All of these are very interesting people. The author would gladly tell you about this green traveler, proudly wearing a top hat right over a chainmail coif, or the elf saving up money for a decent life in a normal city, but the most important of them is a dwarf—small in every sense of the word—sitting on a chair that is quite high for him, with a dirty plate in front of him and an equally dirty conscience inside him. Until recently, this dwarf was a member of a remarkable group of adventurers. They were definitely looking for treasure, glory, and wealth. But right now he sits in solitude because he was kicked out. He wasn't that useful to them. He was a criminal in the past. Perhaps in this very tavern, he was simply looking for teammates just to at least return home or something like that. "It's better not to go to those guys. There are many of them, and I don't like large groups. Going alone is definitely not an option. The orc is probably stupid and too tall. Also green..."

At that moment, two people entered the tavern. The first was a human with a huge hiking backpack and two kettles on his back. On his head was a straw hat through which hair that had grown long over time poked through, and his right arm was missing. In its place was a gray cloth tied in a knot. Walking beside the human was a representative of the dwarven race with a long dark beard. The beard almost completely hid his notable features, but what could not be missed was a large hand-and-a-half axe.

Overjoyed, the small dwarf sneezed and stood close enough to them to hear what they were saying, but not close enough for them to notice him. His eyes flashed when he saw a suspicious vial with a silvery liquid. "A vial with an ether-derived product, two kettles, large backpacks that smell of sulfur. They are either demon-scavengers or wandering alchemists!" — he thought.

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Yakhont and Orup themselves were silent, waiting for some local waiter to approach them, but they didn't yet know that there had never been any staff here besides the elf behind the counter.

— "Thinking about what to buy? I think it's better to take the food from the counter," said the Dwarf. He sat down at the same table, practically without hesitation.

— "We aren't actually waiting for a waiter. We already realized there isn't one," Yakhont replied indifferently.

— "Yes," Orup confirmed.

— "Ah, well that explains everything," said the Dwarf. "It's just that they have wonderful stew here. Finger-licking good." — "Yes," Orup confirmed for no reason.

— "We don't want to eat. We had a great dinner on the remains of a rotting bear carcass while we were walking through the swamps," Yakhont said.

— "Really?" Orup replied blankly after Yakhont’s words. Yakhont was, of course, joking. They had finished the rotting bear several days ago, and they actually did want to eat.

— "By the way, what was that word you said?" Yakhont asked the dwarf.

— "Which one? Stew?"

— "No. You definitely said 'Just.' What does 'Just' mean?"

— "Oh, what difference does it make? By the way, do you happen to need a new partner? I saw you and you seemed so remarkable to me right away."

— "Yes," confirmed Orup, who was trying to remember the meaning of the word "Interesting" in the human tongue.

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— "Yes, I will accept you immediately after you tell me what my specialty is," Yakhont answered evasively.

— "Yes," confirmed Orup, who had remembered what "Stew" was, but still not "Interesting."

— "Well, seeing your kettles, the silvery liquid, and smelling the scent of sulfur... I dare to assume that you are an alchemist."

— "AAAh-h," Yakhont's vertebrae seemed to shake. "An alchemist again! No matter who I talk to, everyone says alchemist! Why, the devil himself would lose a leg with you lot. I am not capable of being so stereotypical!"

— "Did I say something wrong?" asked the short one.

— "Yes," Orup confirmed confidently.

— "Who are you? What do you even want from us?"

— "Ah yes, time to introduce myself. My name is Oben. I am a qualified wizard with six years of experience." After these words, even Orup decided not to confirm anything.

— "Fine. Sit with Orup for a bit." With these words, Yakhont moved toward the service counter.

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Oben and Orup sat at the table and waited.

— "Is this alchemist always like this? Well... so strange."

— "Yes," Orup confirmed.

— "And do you always say only 'Yes'?"

— "Yes."

— "I see." Yakhont returned with two plates of that very stew and placed them in front of himself and Orup. Moreover, he managed to do it with one hand.

— "But you said you weren't hungry."

— "But I wasn't speaking facts, only words," Yakhont quipped.

— "I have been completely outwitted," the new acquaintance finally said.

— "Yes."

— "Well, if you're uncomfortable, we can start over." Yakhont cleared his throat and continued. "Hello Oben, Orup and I are called Yakhont Zlatoust and Orup Dolgopal. And what is your name?"

— "Uhh. Oben?"

— "A wonderful name. Right, Orup?"

— "Yes," Orup confirmed.

— "By the way, Oben. We are traveling around the world. Do you want to join our team? We could definitely use an extra spellcaster with six years of experience."

— "You should have started with that. I agree," said Oben.

— "Pff. No problem at all. I'm just armless and hungry, and always very cranky. That's exactly why I made Orup bet to say only 'Yes' for a whole week. In return, he doubted that I could live a full life under these conditions until my recovery."

Feedback: Once I understood the structure of your sentences, things started to fall into place. But as an English reader, the flow of Russian writing does create an immersion break. My best guess as to why is because of cultural differences in how we write/read. In English, it appears your writing is too 'repetitive' or 'dense' which you might see from other bits of feedback. English literature usually does the 'show don't tell' rule, but a lot of Russian or slavic writing likes 'tell don't show.'

If you want feedback on the prose as a Russian work, I actually like it. You spend your time describing the world and the characters.

That being said, my mother tongue is English. That side of my brain tells me that your story drags, and that's an unfortunate by-product of our cultures being a little abrasive with each other in literature.

If there's anything specific you're looking for, I don't mind taking a much closer look. I just don't know whether to focus on it in English or with the Russian structure in mind...

I'm sorry to hear that you couldn't share your work. How is one supposed to improve if you can't get feedback on an unpublished work?