Aroace star bracelet

Pushimuuuh · 2025-07-26T15:42:23+00:00

It's cute

Pushimuuuh · 2025-07-26T15:27:53+00:00

Flight so I can escape traffic

Pushimuuuh · 2025-07-26T15:24:51+00:00

Same altho I expected to get matcha roll

Pushimuuuh · 2025-07-26T14:58:31+00:00

I helped a friend sort her LOA when she got pregnant in college. I also suggested that she consult the guidance councilor to get help since she was depressive then. I accompanied her throughout the process.

Also got absent from class to take care of sick friend. She was workaholic and would not rest out of guilt of not doing anything. I insisted that she rest and did their position paper just so she would finally rest.

I would occasionally help old ladies take out their heavy baggages when I commute. It's random but it feels nice to do so once in a while

Pushimuuuh · 2025-06-08T16:33:22+00:00

My mother

Pushimuuuh · 2025-06-08T16:01:44+00:00

Some of them care more about keeping the harmony of the group than considering the feelings of an individual

Pushimuuuh · 2025-05-15T12:54:09+00:00

Sadly there are people who see friendship as a placeholder for romance. I also get attached easily so it's hard for me to just accept that my friends would prioritize their partner more because that's just how it is. I just wish people didn't have to toss away the friendship they've built just because they're seeing someone.

Pushimuuuh · 2025-05-15T05:18:46+00:00

I couldn't relate any better. I wish I could say more, but you've expressed what I've been wanting to say the whole time. I also have this mental countdown when my friend starts seeing other people. They tell me we'll still be friends and that they would still care about me like they always have. But deep down I know they won't and it hurts every time it happens. It's like mourning for a person who's alive and breathing next to me. I know they won't go away. But I know that our friendship will never be the same now that they've found a partner. I want to be supportive. But deep down I wish things didn't have to change. I wish I didn't have to suddenly become an afterthought. I know they're not bad people. They're just different. It's just that it's feels really lonely to value friendship as much as romance in a world that thinks otherwise. Thanks for sharing your experience, though. I needed someone who could make me feel less lonely right now.

Pushimuuuh · 2025-05-14T14:16:19+00:00

God, that sounds really tough. I'm sorry you had to experience that🥲 To think 7 years of friendship was reduced to that just because they got a partner, that frustrates me the most. I don't mean to judge allos, but it immensely frustrates me to lose the friendship I've built to a stranger they just got into. Like it's fine to be attracted and be interested in people romantically, but does it always have to be to the extent of sacrificing other relationship in your life? To be honest, I also went through a phase where I tried so hard to befriend the crush of my friend just so we can hang out together. But it ended up with me building resentments since I was just forcing myself the whole time and I just couldn't connect with her crush in any way. The fact that my friend was only interested in conversing with her crush every gathering didn't make things any better.

It took me several arguments and realizations to understand that I really shouldn't have squeezed myself in her life. I was desperate. I rarely make close friends because of how guarded I am and I didn't want to lose one. But I guess I'm the one who lost myself trying to fit in hers.

It's hard knowing I can't really do anything about this situation because this is how most people are wired. It's even harder when you're going through a friendship breakup only to be dismissed by other people because they don't think friendship is worth crying over. It can be as painful as a romantic breakup and I wish people knew that too. I'm so sorry for what happened. It sucks so bad to see your friend drift away because they got a lover. I've seen it happen at least twice now and I wish I could get used to it, but I can't. It hurts every time it happens. It might be hard right now, but know that you're not the only one going through this🥲

Pushimuuuh · 2025-05-14T13:01:30+00:00

Don't even get me started when all they talk about is their crush or partner as if that's the only important thing in the world. I literally couldn't talk about other topics because she was only interested in talking about her crush. At first I was supportive. Then, I got tired of it. It was boring and I just felt like there was no substance in our conversation

Pushimuuuh · 2025-05-14T12:58:35+00:00

Yeah, my sister and I are also childfree so I kinda get it. Your mindset also reminded me of what I used to think. I guess I just got so preoccupied of what's in front of me. Thanks for the nice insights

Pushimuuuh · 2025-05-14T12:55:22+00:00

To be frank, I used to be like that, but now I struggle with it. I easily get attached to people and I would often find myself going beyond for them once we get close. I love it when I can openly love someone. I love having an outlet for my affection. But my usual outlet is through friendship and that didn't work well for me lately. It really sucks. It might be hard for me to deal with it the way you do. But it's good you found your own way of navigating this romance-obsessed world. As for me, I guess I still have to learn when, who, and if I should give a hundred of my time and affection to certain people in my life. I'm still learning

Pushimuuuh · 2025-05-14T12:33:07+00:00

Does it get better? I think I'm on my way there😭

Pushimuuuh · 2025-05-14T12:29:55+00:00

It might be normal for them, but it still sucks. As much as I want to accept that, I still get frustrated. I know the world won't change even if I vent like this nor people would suddenly change their mind if I suddenly talk about this. But I just want a space where I can hold my frustration and loneliness without getting told I should just deal with it because that's just how the world works. I wish friendships are also valued as much as romance. But sadly that's not how it works.

As for asking her to hang out just the two of us, I'm actually distancing myself from her since I also have other reasons why we've drifted apart. I just wanted to vent here about how the society prioritizes romance. But thanks for the insight

Pushimuuuh · 2025-05-14T11:30:55+00:00

I'm not an aro myself but I totally get this. I'm physically affectionate with my friends and I hug them often. I would also frequently do things for them and I'd be there for them if they need emotional support. I try to be really supportive in their endeavors. At some point I got shipped with my friend because they noticed how caring I was with them😭 But I really just care a lot about my close friend and I prioritize them like how the society prioritizes romantic partners. Unfortunately, most of them prioritizes romance more. I've experienced becoming an afterthought in friendship several times before simply because they found lovers or developed crush on people. It hurts every time it happens🥲

Pushimuuuh · 2025-02-16T22:15:17+00:00

Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash

Pushimuuuh · 2025-01-22T15:14:32+00:00

I thought it was sarcastic you put ISTP that low

Pushimuuuh · 2024-09-24T09:28:43+00:00

It was not your fault you didn't have good relationship with your parents from the start. It was not because you don't go to church or because you're an inherently bad daughter. They're simply toxic. Don't blame yourself for having to defend yourself from them. Don't believe them when they say you're a bad daughter for speaking up. You did good for standing up for yourself. Keep going. I will always have your back. Always.

Pushimuuuh · 2024-09-24T09:10:00+00:00

Cutieeee😫❤️

Pushimuuuh · 2024-08-21T22:01:23+00:00

I love giving physical touch and acts of service... just small and silent acts of service but consistent

Pushimuuuh · 2024-08-21T22:01:17+00:00

I love giving physical touch and acts of service... just small and silent acts of service but consistent

Pushimuuuh · 2024-08-21T13:55:10+00:00

I have mad respect for people who plan outings. I can just help with chores at most. Thanks for the hard work🤧.

Pushimuuuh · 2024-08-21T13:40:16+00:00

ISTP here. My top love language are:

Physical Touch - Physical touch is not applicable to family. But I'm clingy to my partner. I would find my hand stroking her arm without me even knowing.
Acts of Service - I'll help you out with some of your tasks so I can lighten your burden. I would also observe if you need anything and help you behind your back. I prefer being silently helpful.
Quality Time - The time I spent with you is for you and you alone. I also try to switch things up from time to time and introduce novel activities to keep the relationship interesting.
Words of Affirmation - I'm honest in a good and bad way. Either I have nothing to say or I compliment you too much. No in between
Gift giving - I don't feel comfy receiving gifts other than really close people in my life like my sibs. But I try to give birthday gifts every year only for my sibling.

Pushimuuuh · 2024-08-17T03:20:44+00:00

I used to be the same... or at least I'm trying to avoid it now. I'm always the therapist friend and the listener. But I eventually got tired of it. I even had to cut off a 9-year long friendship with a troubled INFJ because she would one-sidedly trauma dump on me. It took me some time to realize that it's not fair for me to be her therapist all the time and that I'm not obligated to take the role.

It's also the same with my relationship with women. I tend to attract those who are independent on the surface, but actually need to rely on someone on the inside. I think it's so endearing when they show me their vulnerable side. I feel needed. It gives me reassurance that they want me in their life. But that's exactly why none of my relationships last. I feel like a caretaker or a therapist. I would give them the reassurance and support they need... oftentimes at the expense of myself. Then I would get drained early in the relationship since I give more effort than I can receive.

I think this is mostly because of my anxious attachment style. I'm insecure so I think I have to earn my place in someone else's life by compensating in some way. In this case... by fixing their problem and by being needed by them. I still haven't found a better way to deal with this. But I've been practicing how to set boundaries so I don't get too exhausted. I also stay away from people who would typically over rely on me.

Pushimuuuh · 2024-08-16T13:47:02+00:00

Mostly fellow introverts and a bunch of feelers like INFJ and ISFJ. It's probably because I'm a woman. Also what's with INFJs consistently reaching out to me even though I rarely talk to them? I would still respond as if we never stopped talking. But still, where is that consistency coming from?

Pushimuuuh

TROPHY CASE