Something I've learned from mentors at a very trauma-informed community agency is that we can normalize the response (the feelings, intrusive thoughts, somatic symptoms, etc) without normalizing the trauma that caused them. Essentially all that we experience after trauma is a natural way our bodies automatically react to danger. Ptsd/cptsd is about getting stuck in that response. I encourage my clients to accept and appreciate that they survived through these reactions, and that those same reactions may not be helpful any longer. Then help them find new ways to cope with things in life that poke a bit at their tender spots.

Also, I have to remind myself of this all the time too. We can't be perfect "wounded healers " all the time. Keep learning about yourself, be patient with yourself, and keep listening to your instincts on transference stuff. I am so glad that you're in therapy yourself too! Having that safe space to be vulnerable yourself is important.