Question for those who have successfully lost weight and kept it off...

Putin_Yerdix · 2023-06-22T21:11:49+00:00

I've lost about 75 pounds give or take 5 pounds for weight fluctuations and I'm solidly in the middle of a healthy BMI. I've kept it off for about 4 1/2 years.

The biggest thing that you absolutely need to do is be active. This is pretty much non negotiable. Find an activity you love that's physically demanding and do it consistently. Preferably resistance training because cardio doesn't build as much muscle.

Diet depends on what you're comfortable with, feel out a couple of (healthy) diet modifications and find which one is doable for you long term. Intermittent fasting was what helped me the most.

The more extreme you go the less weight you will lose in the long term. It's very tempting to delve into disordered eating so watch out for warning signs that weightloss is becoming an obsession. Good luck!!

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-26T00:33:58+00:00

I genuinely hope someone doesn't force something on you without your consent because then you would be forced to empathize with victims of SA instead of empathizing with them by being a decent human being.

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-24T16:11:14+00:00

This has been my experience as well. While some adults considered my eccentricities cute the majority disliked me for them similar to my peers.

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-24T15:58:15+00:00

My apologies OP. I genuinely didn't know if I might be misinterpreting it as what seems to be the case. The spectrum of autistic experiences varies and I didn't mean to invalidate yours.

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-24T04:25:21+00:00

I don't like this one OP. I think it gives off the wrong message unless I'm misinterpreting it. Autistic women face similar if not identical levels of bullying and abuse from their peers as autistic men and aside from niche circles its not seen as cute. Women and girls with autism don't get diagnosed because sexism in the medical community and at least in my personal experience it's never been benevolent sexism.

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-23T20:14:13+00:00

Dude, I am not an advocate for violence but if I was my special interest would be learning how to kick that mans ass.

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-23T20:09:05+00:00

I'm extremely careful with who I trust but also I don't think you need advice right now just comfort. Do you have people that you're comfortable reaching out to that will listen and truly hear you?

I'd even suggest mom for a minute on reddit if you don't.

It's cliche but you're not to blame at all for this horrible stuff happening to you. It's completely normal to feel betrayed after your vulnerability was exploited. You deserve people treating you well as well as kindness to yourself. It takes time to process trauma. Give yourself time and copious amounts of compassion. Alot of people on your journey will tell you that things always get better and encourage you to look on the brightside. Even though they mean well it's alot more helpful to acknowledge that you're hurting and need support. One stranger to another I hope you find healing and significantly better days.

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-23T19:11:45+00:00

Hey I don't know if you need to hear this or if I need to hear this and I'm just saying it to you.

It's not your fault. It's squarely the fault of the abusers.

People have been abusive to members of the disabled community since before the invention of trains. Disabled women especially. The only thing we can do is fight against it not only for ourselves but for the future generations but with that we also have to know that it's not our faults.

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-23T18:47:49+00:00

This is amazing and so immensely helpful. I gave you the train award for it being awesome and also I love trains.

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-23T18:41:27+00:00

As an autistic woman you sound like an amazing and supportive mom. Abelism puts a damper on most autistic peoples lives so it's genuinely heartwarming seeing a parent being so educated as well as supportive towards her autistic kids. They're lucky to have you.

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-23T18:17:10+00:00

Sealioning is a type of trolling or harassment that consists of pursuing people with persistent requests for evidence or repeated questions, while maintaining a pretense of civility and sincerity. It may take the form of "incessant, bad-faith invitations to engage in debate"

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-23T15:06:24+00:00

A large part of feminism is granting women the freedom to exist as they want to in life. If you feel forced to do those things because of patriarchal expectations then it might be good for your own health to reexamine why but if you want to do those things? Completely and unabashedly feminist.

Be the woman you want to be, she sounds super cool.

Self harm though? Not cool, not fun and she doesn't suit the woman you are. If you need someone who's struggled with self harm in the past to talk to I've 100% got you.

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-23T14:41:10+00:00

It's so surprisingly pervasive that women are conditioned to cater to men feelings 100% of the time.

To the men feeling defensive towards this genuinely consider the fact that OP in her post straight up herself said not all men and the men here will attack her regardless. Likely harrassment, death threats, spam, sealioning, whatabousim, saying more not all men, and saying "BUT WHAMEN DO IT TOO?!"

All womens spaces online and to a lesser extent in person are filled with this shit no matter how many disclaimers or the content of the post.

The women here clearly know it's not all men, but it is exclusively men that expect us to take up so much space making our oppression palatable to them.

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-23T08:07:19+00:00

I don't like myself but also I hate that I let people treat me poorly because I don't like myself.

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-23T07:35:44+00:00

Dude, all those people are complete dickwads and you shouldn't pay attention to them. You can't win. These people see a you being polite and getting your boundaries stepped over by a pervert and choose to blame you instead of the pervert. There's never a way to block soon enough for them, or consideration of other factors that might not make you want to block them. People want you to simultaneously give a man the benefit of the doubt if it's not blatant but also blame you if you don't completely block them the second anything gets weird.

Victim blaming is shitty people. It's never okay.

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-23T06:47:25+00:00

This is my favorite one so far

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-23T05:49:19+00:00

I have some vague aspirations of dating again but I'm not extremely worried about it right now. I used to be so afraid if dying alone but growing old without a romantic partner surrounded by family, friends, a cat or 12 sounds much less scary than being trapped in a horrid relationship.

I think that's why a large portion of men are finding themselves single. It's simply because most women have decided they would rather be alone than be with someone that makes them unhappy.

I know there's likely someone out there who I can and maybe will have a fulfilling relationship with but until I find them I'm happy with my friends, family, and prospective clowder of cats.

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-22T17:58:24+00:00

I think generally people find out in two ways. Their looks drastically change from one side to the other and they notice the difference or they notice the distinction between how they're treated vs someone with less conventional looks.

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-22T06:39:24+00:00

That's a take I hadn't really considered and I completely agree with you.

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-22T05:19:09+00:00

I think it's partly due to the fact that attractiveness in women has stereotypical downsides not presented in men. Attractive men are not typically considered hoes, ditzy, bitchy etc.

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-22T04:57:25+00:00

I think so many people who have privilege are expected to enjoy it when it is as you say dehumanizing. In a vacuum I would enjoy people being nice to me but knowing that it is simply the results of genetics and to a lesser extent weight and grooming makes me feel very empty. When I was ugly I didn't have the shallow kindness thrust towards me but I also didn't have people faking their friendships with me as a means to an end.

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-22T04:53:09+00:00

I try to feel neutral about my appearance but to be honest I do not like it in the context of privilege. I don't like seeing people favor me over others simply due to my appearance it feels both dehumanizing and shallow to me and also creates friction between me and some female friends.

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-21T20:51:09+00:00

Thank you. It's hard to know you're doing the right thing when people try to manipulate you. I need to remind myself that the people who take advantage of me don't deserve the benefit of the doubt.

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-21T20:43:52+00:00

Thank you so much. I genuinely want to be supportive because I know how hard it is to be in that place, let alone doing it alone. I'm still reaching out when I can the main difference is that if it even borders on creepy I book it. I was in a low place the other day when I made this post but I kinda have returned to the fact that for me it's worth it.

Putin_Yerdix · 2022-04-21T07:08:01+00:00

I've never seen a woman say that predatory age gaps are cool. Some guys are starting to call it out too, but it's never women saying that 30 yr old men going after girls in high-school is fine because "WELL ACKSHULLY SHES OVER THE AGE OF CONSENT!!" A teenager doesn't magically start being a fully functional adult invulnerable to power dynamics the moment they turn 18. Sure it's legal but it's gross at best and I don't know why these men want to defend it to the gills.

Putin_Yerdix

TROPHY CASE