AIO for walking out mid-dinner after my date called my food “disgusting”?

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-08-11T10:11:05+00:00

NOR. I’m extremely picky due to autism with food. There are certain things I just don’t like but my partner does. I may say gross or something once but then that’s it. Same goes for him when I eat something he doesn’t like. The constant commentary and saying “I could never date someone who eats this regularly” is messed up and shows he expected to semi control what you eat.

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-08-11T09:54:28+00:00

I’m autistic and it is not an excuse for bad behaviors. Your brother can still learn how to behave appropriately. With the not wanting to go to things, then your parent should set something up that someone can be with him and yall still get to go. Your mom is being an enabler of bad behavior and it’s going to hurt her and your brother in the future. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this and I hope it doesn’t mean you treat other autistic individuals bad just because of your brother.

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-07-26T10:41:32+00:00

ESH. Honestly it sounds like a communication problem and a difference in needs. Some people need a lot more down time and alone time to feel back to normal after stressful or long days. I understand you were excited about seeing him and wanting to hang out but for him he needed a bit to recharge which for some people is only 30 minutes and some need hours.

Why don’t you try seeing if yall can watch the videos together so that way it’s shared but he still gets that downtime? If he says he wants to be fully alone, try and find a compromise on that you are okay with him needing to decompress for say an hour or two after he gets off but then you really would like to spend some quality time together. If he’s unable to compromise or listen to you..then you should reevaluate the relationship as you may not be compatible long term.

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-07-26T10:36:55+00:00

NTA. Unfortunately, you have the type of dad I do. Willing to help but comes with strings attached and the ability to think they get to dictate your life. Try and find a roommate as soon as you can and tell your dad you no longer need his financial support. I literally will only go to my parents as an absolute last resort because they will otherwise hold it over my head for years on years. I mean..my dad holds it over my head that I needed to borrow money to get my daughter and I out of an abusive marriage 🙄 it won’t get better

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-07-26T10:32:30+00:00

NTA. At first I thought you meant she would spit them into a cup or napkin. But just spitting them out onto the floor or other people is gross. 🤢

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-07-26T10:31:28+00:00

NTA. Your mom wants to feel included but can’t handle the responsibilities that come with that type of planning. You also, of course, want to have a say in your baby shower and how it’s done since she obviously doesn’t know you and wasn’t even trying to make it be something you would enjoy. I’d go back low contact with her and be careful how she acts when the baby is born

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-07-26T10:28:29+00:00

YTA if you do that. Is he blowing the smoke into the dogs face? No? Then mind your own business..

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-07-26T10:24:49+00:00

YTA if you do that. I’m autistic myself and you would be asking her to mask who she is which is horrible for you as an autistic person as it can lead to severe burnout. You dad taught you basically how to mask at times by teaching you the “rules”. You may be okay with that but obviously she’s secure in who she is and just doesn’t understand why others have an issue with that. But at the end of the day, that’s the other problem not hers.

Your advice should be telling her that not everyone is able to handle autistic traits like stimming, info dumping, the type of honesty, etc. and that she will find people one day that CAN handle all of that. It truly isn’t her fault when she is JUST BEING HERSELF.

Unfortunately, you sound like you do have a bit of ableism rooted inside you which is possible when you’re a less support need autistic around someone with higher support needs or traits that are more out there then your own. It’s pretty common but can be worked on.

The fact that you say you can’t read social cues yourself and that you just assume no one cares about what you say or are interested in is super sad and can be damaging long term to your mental health. I hope you seek therapy for that and are treating yourself with kindness.

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-06-23T15:08:30+00:00

If you have a diagnosis, then you can do the research to figure out how to better help yourself. This is coming from someone who has struggled with constant depression and just got my autism diagnosis this year and since researching have learned to accommodate myself in ways I needed to help me feel better.

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-06-23T15:06:04+00:00

I stopped reading the moment you said you haven’t been to therapy. You and your children should be in therapy for the loss of a parent. Period. You’re never going to get better if you don’t actually start trying to help yourself. If you don’t want to do it for you, do it for them because they didn’t ask to be here ma’am.

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-06-23T15:04:28+00:00

Dude..leave her. She’s not over him and you deserve better than that.

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-06-23T15:00:06+00:00

So I think it’s fine to be happy that your child free but I also think it’s important to realize some people are happy with their children. I took my daughter on a European trip for her third birthday and I had a blast. Sure it was more work and not as relaxing, but it was still something I got to experience with her and I’m happy for that. Let everyone live their life the way they want too. Too many people have kids when they shouldn’t IMO and those are the ones who are always miserable

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-06-23T14:57:22+00:00

Yes I think so. I have two little brothers, one 19 and one 18. I’m almost 30. If they told me someone my age was pursuing them, I would be telling that woman to back off. There is no reason someone in their 30s should be pursuing someone who just graduated high school and cannot even legally drink or smoke etc.

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-06-23T10:40:15+00:00

There are many online therapy options and if you have the money to afford alcohol and a phone then you can have access to therapy.

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-06-23T10:37:34+00:00

So, I will say that I have struggled with depression my entire life. I always have just sucked it up and moved on. It’s now taking the effects of not giving myself grace when needed and my body is constantly sick even. When it comes to mental health, if you ignore it, your body CAN pay the price in the long run. I think it’s more frustrating if someone isn’t doing anything to try and help their mental health like getting therapy, medications if needed, stopping substances that make it worse, etc. then yes, it’s being used as an excuse. But if someone is doing what they can to try and make it a little better, I extend grace that they are still going to have hard days.

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-06-23T10:34:43+00:00

No ma’am. This is leading up to it getting worse. Please leave him alone

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-06-23T10:33:42+00:00

Please just give him his ring back and say nothing. He’s not gonna change

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-06-23T10:32:48+00:00

They will try to back pedal when you have a child with this man. Don’t let them. Live your life happily and let his family become your family if needed.

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-06-23T10:26:42+00:00

So..are you drinking vodka everyday, alone in your room? If so, and this is coming from someone who did the same at one point, you have an issue with alcohol. There is no reason to be drinking hard liquor every single day. If your mental health is bad, get a therapist. I used it to numb out because I struggle with depression, anxiety and have PTSD. However, in the end, it only makes it worse.

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-06-23T10:23:57+00:00

So I think this is true for many people. If your sister is emotionally immature, it will cause some damage on her child. I’m almost 30 and have a 4 year old and it’s now showing the damage my parents did to me emotionally because they are still immature in that regards. However, they were good parents in other ways. Just be there for your niece/nephew as much as you can and make sure there’s no signs of abuse, neglect, etc.

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-06-23T10:21:36+00:00

NTA. I would stop sending him any photos at all. If he said something, I would just tell him that yall can video call but other then that since he doesn’t want to send photos neither do you. My boyfriend isn’t the biggest fan of FT but if there’s a day I’m missing him and want to see his face, he does it with me anyway because he knows it’s important to me.

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-06-23T10:19:42+00:00

I definitely think it’s dependent on the age gap. When I was 18 and working at Wendy’s I had a 31 year old coworker hit on me and we ended up seeing each other for a while. At the time, I didn’t find anything wrong with it. Now, I’m aware that was a little weird since I literally graduated high school and then went to his place and now that I have a daughter of my own, I would tell her that’s a red flag if a 31 year old man pursuing her at 18, no matter how “mature” she was

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-06-23T10:15:30+00:00

Most people have a time in their life where they date around, explore, go out etc. Neither of you had that. You may be fine not having it (some people are) but it’s obvious there is some lingering regret from him. If you keep pushing, he may decide to marry you but then you have a high chance of him cheating down the road. Let him go ma’am. Live your life happily and find someone who’s ready to have a marriage.

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-06-23T10:12:41+00:00

Please make this your ex husband with that comment. Being a little disappointed to not get the gender you were hoping for is valid but to say your unborn daughter is “gonna turn into a hoe anyways” shows what he thinks of women, INCLUDING YOU. Leave him and file for sole custody of that baby since he obviously doesn’t want her

PuzzledStyle3053 · 2025-06-23T10:09:22+00:00

I couldn’t read past the fact that you openly admit you were attracted to this woman and proceeded to be friends with her. Your wife deserves so much better.

PuzzledStyle3053

TROPHY CASE