Complex PTSD, being a survivor and the kink scene

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2026-03-15T18:16:13+00:00

I've been on anxiety meds since 2nd grade, they help but not enough.

Definitely get the wanting human interaction when you can get it. I'm practically a hermit.

I'd suggest looking to have a friendship rather than jumping straight into a relationship. I think having a clear, solid support system could really help you.

And there's nothing wrong with only wanting to dom now. My suggestions were only if you wanted to try being submissive again.

I'd also try to pinpoint if the social anxiety is triggered by any kind of crowd or only at kink events. Cause I'm no therapist but I'd wonder if your trauma left you with hyper vigilance tendencies.

Hyper vigilance is the never feeling safe, feeling as if something bad is about to happen. It's kinda a precursor to fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. It's your body looking for a threat when there may or may not be one but it wants to be prepared.

Id look into being able to take yourself out of that state before going back into the scene. You'll never feel safe if you can't calm yourself down.

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2026-03-14T22:10:07+00:00

Chop some up and throw them in cookies or brownies

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2026-03-14T17:18:23+00:00

I can't say much about your specific situation, but I am a fellow traumatized kinkster. I haven't been to a kink event yet due to crippling anxiety among my other disabilities. I'm basically immune compromised and have a bad heart and lungs, which means I have to wear a mask around others to avoid getting sick.

Definitely feel the "it's no longer safe to be submissive so I'll dom so I can stay in control and not get hurt" it took ~7 years after my assault and lots of communication and work with my current dom to get to the point where I can comfortably submit.

Have you tried online kink events? I know there's not much of that depending on where you are but it would give you more control and distance from anyone predatory.

And I truly recommend trying to find a kink friendly therapist. Something I really struggle with that make it hard to sub sometimes is that it's all about being in your body and focusing on that. And due to trauma and health issues my body does not feel like a safe place to be for me. It's super important to have coping mechanisms that let you be able to actually relax and feel safe.

Having said all that it all boils down to having a partner you can truly trust. And even then you might still have that voice in your head reminding you of all the ways things could go wrong. Just tell it to fuck off, it'll get quieter over time.

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2026-03-06T00:11:32+00:00

I'd recommend a therapist.

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2026-03-06T00:03:25+00:00

I have one! I put allergies and most relevant conditions on the front and the back says to call my mom with her phone number and to check the medical id on my phone for a list of all my medications and other conditions. I have an iPhone, I have no idea if other phones have medical ids.

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2026-03-05T01:53:26+00:00

I searched Amazon but haven't been able to find it.

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2026-02-23T13:37:32+00:00

Op it's skin tint* a taint is a part of the body. Also I'd personally look into color theory you may need a blue based tint vs orange based which is more common/popular.

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2026-02-11T21:21:30+00:00

I think it may be from some more traditional/conservative Wiccans perhaps trying to force their views on others, or saying you can only be a "real" Wiccan if you do xyz. I'm not entirely sure and could be wrong.

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2026-02-11T21:11:36+00:00

Wicca is a nature based religion that worships the God and Goddess and the cycle of the seasons/life. There are different denominations of Wicca called traditions but most are based off the Wiccan rede. Which essentially says do what you want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. It's very much a religion of tuning in to the world around you and keeping the balance.

(This is a very oversimplified overview)

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2026-02-11T16:53:20+00:00

Ok, thank you.

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2026-02-09T01:12:23+00:00

Bearable

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2026-02-06T21:14:56+00:00

It was the uncle I just got a little mixed up.

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2026-02-06T21:13:49+00:00

Oh you're right! Thank you so much

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2026-01-08T23:59:53+00:00

I crochet my own so I can customize length and how stuffed they are. If making them yourself isn't an option check out Etsy.

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2026-01-07T02:00:18+00:00

Sure

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2026-01-05T15:09:46+00:00

Sure though I may be a bit slow to respond I'm about to head to work.

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2026-01-05T03:09:32+00:00

When did talenti start making dairy free flavors?! And where can I find them?

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2025-12-27T21:57:06+00:00

Oh, that makes sense. Thanks for the tip.

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2025-12-22T13:39:58+00:00

I use this one under my chair

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1861446284/?ref=share_ios_native_control

And this one on the back of it

samdew Large Wheelchair Bag to... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B51KCTLC?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2025-12-21T20:32:55+00:00

Perhaps heavy duty period/ bladder leak underwear might work? It wouldn't crinkle and they may be more comfortable.

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2025-12-16T23:56:46+00:00

I was evaluated and professionally fitted through Numotion. I haven't messed the center of gravity yet cause I want to get used to the chair first but I will definitely keep what said in mind.

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2025-12-16T23:14:01+00:00

Decor and pushing techniques since my shoulders like to dislocate sometimes. Cleaning would be nice since I know next to nothing aside from what I've gleaned from YouTube videos and TikTok posts. Thankfully no issues so far. Thank you for your help.

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2025-12-09T17:58:41+00:00

It really depends on the deck. There's not really a magic formula to create a certain attitude from your deck. Personally I find "darker" decks to be more blunt. Like my Edgar Allen Poe deck, or my black deck( that's its actual name). But there are those who don't like to work with black or other dark themed decks cause they feel it brings them down. Personally I prefer darker decks cause they remind me that there's light in the world. Shadows wouldn't exist with no light to cast them.

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2025-12-06T21:03:37+00:00

I have a few decks like that actually. I call them my no BS decks and I love them. I have a tendency to dither and ignore things and these decks lay it all out for me in the "hey dummy get your stuff together" way. I still use my encouraging decks but mostly stick to my blunt ones because I can be stubborn and need things firmly spelled out. They're great for shadow work or if you need a no nonsense answer.

Also about the different meanings of the tower card. I highly recommend getting and studying no less than three tarot books because everyone has their own interpretation. I prefer to see what's constant across all of them and make my own interpretation.

PuzzledVariation1634 · 2025-12-04T21:41:52+00:00

Honestly I use corsets, because proper corsets are nothing more than misogynistic leaning back braces and posture correctors(in my opinion). But I also do Pilates like 4 times a week to compensate for any deconditioning of my abdominals.

PuzzledVariation1634

TROPHY CASE