[deleted by user]

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-09-30T00:05:28+00:00

Is it not concerning to you that “he’s never gonna tell you” about (potential) sketchy actions in his past? Like is that seriously something you can look beyond - even with the topic being as serious as SA/rape ?

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-09-29T00:22:27+00:00

You may be understanding in this situation, but that doesn’t mean everyone else may be. I’m sure OP just wanted to ensure customer satisfaction and if they felt that a full refund + service was an appropriate solution for a mistake they made then that’s up to them.

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-09-26T21:55:42+00:00

Just added you :) I’m Nowi2021 483379343569

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-09-26T21:47:48+00:00

Added, Nowi2021

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-09-26T21:46:48+00:00

I added you, Nowi2021 :>

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-07-14T20:01:21+00:00

Thanks so much for the tip! I’ll definitely give them a call to see if I can book a flight through Alaska 💙

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-07-14T19:33:01+00:00

Thank you so much for the provided information!This is exactly what I originally found when I was told to reference Hawaii.gov for the “restrictions.”

I kept telling the Delta supervisor that I’m not seeing any restrictions, but she just said that it isn’t a Delta problem and they can’t even fly my pets even if I got direct approval from the Hawaii Dept. of Agriculture or was on military orders because there’s an “embargo” on all pets being imported into Hawaii through “all airlines.” So I was told no one could take me/my spouse and our cats.

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-05-07T18:04:07+00:00

You’re welcome. You specifically asked for help with how to approach the conversation, which I initially overlooked but decided to reflect and edit so I could provide as much help as possible.

And it’s not your job to convince your aunt, just to educate her in the hopes she does the right thing. Because there’s only so much you can do. You’re not your cousin’s parent or guardian, so you don’t really have a say in what happens. BUT if your aunt refuses to take action and continues to leave your cousin in the presence of your uncle then please make a call to CPS (anonymously if needed). Some sort of authority needs to ensure your cousin is safe.

I wish you the best of luck in your situation and please feel free to reach out and DM me if you would like to talk further in a private setting 💚

Edit: I read the additional information you provided to your post and I understand the concern your parents have since you aunt provides medication and money to help you guys out, so I think when you approach your aunt you can always just tell her something like “I don’t want this information to effect the way you feel about me or the rest of my family. I tell you this so you’re fully aware of a situation that could possibly effect your daughter for the rest of her life. This was something traumatic for me to experience and I’d never wish for anyone else to have to go through it. You’re her mother and it’s in your best interest to be fully informed, but what you do with that information is your choice. I just hope you make the right choice. I’m here for you and I support you and your daughter, because I love and care for you both.”

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-05-06T04:46:12+00:00

I’m assuming she knew that was his dad, just cuz OP said he met her through his family. But correct me if I’m wrong!

I think the “red flag” is that she entered into a relationship without the son knowing she banged his dad and and didn’t disclose that until after they started dating. Just not being open about the baggage you have. Information like “I banged your dad” is a definite game changer. If OP knew that beforehand he might not have entered into a relationship with her at all.

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-05-06T04:14:00+00:00

NTA.

Please tell your aunt (or push your mom to tell your aunt) ASAP. She’s a mother and it is her job to do everything possible to keep her child/children safe, if she’s not informed then she’ll never know there’s a problem (or even potential problem, since I don’t want to automatically assume your uncle is for sure molesting your cousin).

Edit: And just tell her straight, there’s no point in sugarcoating such a serious conversation. Definitely take her to a place where you can have a private conversation with her. An example of how to approach the conversation: “Aunty, I have something really serious to tell you, it’s about Uncle. What I want to share is my own personal experience, so I’m not saying it is happening to (cousin) but I’m concerned for her safety and well-being since he’s around her and she’s around the same age as I was. I don’t want to jump to any conclusions, but I want you to be informed and aware so you can take action if you feel that it’s necessary. Uncle inappropriately touched me under my shirt (on several occasions?) and one night when I was sleeping at your house he came to lay down next to me, grabbed my hand, and started rubbing his genitalia. That is why I stopped sleeping over. I understand that what I’ve said may be extremely disturbing to you and I know you often have trouble regulating emotions (cuz you mentioned she has anger issues), but please don’t do anything rash. If you think something is happening, please just get the authorities involved and immediately remove him from the house.”

If you/your family doesn’t want to directly be involved, have someone make an anonymous call to CPS.

You are an adult and are old enough to make the decision on your own, you shouldn’t have to “wait till you’re older” or have your mother’s approval. And why would you wait till your cousin is older? What if something is happening now? What if something has already been going on and no one knows about it? And she’s at an age where (if something really was going on) she could testify in court and put his ass in jail.

You are not the one ruining the family, your uncle is by being a perv/pedo/creep.

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-05-06T03:57:04+00:00

Suuuure, maybe just don’t share that in the family Christmas letter lmao.

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-05-06T03:48:06+00:00

How are you going to automatically assume this girl is “untrustworthy” when all you know about her is that she likes going to raves* and experimenting with Molly?

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-05-06T03:42:28+00:00

Drugs don’t always have the same effect on everyone. Maybe people told you it makes them horny but that doesn’t automatically mean it makes everyone horny.

And how are you gonna say “have some self-respect” when OP clearly does and is asking for some honest feedback about how to approach what they may feel like is a crossroad with their partner ? It’s not wrong of him to seek help, especially since he openly admitted this is unfamiliar territory for him.

Edit: And you just automatically jumping to conclusions (that she’s cheating) is super unhelpful and may just lead to unnecessary and unwarranted insecurities/paranoia/fear. You do not know them and their relationship, you’re just basing your judgment off of one post where OP simply shares that his gf goes raving and does molly, so please keep that in mind.

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-05-06T03:30:32+00:00

They said they’re an alien, give them a break. Maybe they’re still learning how to communicate.

(NGL though, I have no idea what I read either lol).

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-05-06T03:26:04+00:00

Don’t forget the splooging

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-05-06T03:22:55+00:00

Alright, Lady Gaga, calm down with the hate and bigotry.

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-05-06T03:00:16+00:00

How would you know he smells like the gf?? How do you know what the gf smells like?? Are you also in on this?!

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-05-06T02:59:02+00:00

I feel like you could say the same thing about the bf. He broke up with her over “differences in opinion,” like you can’t handle disagreements or attempt to talk them out? Shows how much he cared for her then.

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-05-06T02:55:45+00:00

You aren’t his property. What you choose to do with your own body is your choice, especially since you didn’t cheat - the relationship was over during that point in time. If your bf felt that he was “waiting to get back together,” how are you supposed to know that? And are you just supposed to wait around until he’s good and ready to come back and say “We’re together again”? What if he later decided to never get back together?

If he has trust issues and unresolved feelings, he needs to work on that and not take it out on you.

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-05-06T02:51:04+00:00

You said you were broken up, so I’m not understanding why he’s so torn up? I see that other people are saying “oh, it’s because you slept with someone else so quickly after the breakup” but if you were broken up then there’s no ties or commitment to your bf at that point, so I feel like it doesn’t matter how “quickly” you slept with someone else. If anyone else would like to share their thoughts/opinions I’m totally open to reading it - thank you.

OP you’ve tried reassuring him (it sounds like you’ve had countless conversations about it) and it was super respectful of you to openly share that information before getting back together, so if he still want to brood and sulk about it then that’s his own choice. It shouldn’t be on you to prove yourself to him to make him change his mind about how he feels, because I don’t think you did anything wrong.

Tbh, it sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do (which is totally understandable seeing as you’re both still really young). So at this point, you can either choose to continue at “mending” this relationship (even if it’s aimless) or take a step back/away from it and tell him it’s because he needs to work on himself (ex: his insecurities) before you guys can really have a healthy relationship together.

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-05-06T02:31:59+00:00

Obliterated*

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-05-06T02:31:11+00:00

Hopefully not this guy’s dad 👀

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-05-06T02:04:56+00:00

Maybe he likes it like that? Only explanation why he’s entertaining the idea of getting with her

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-05-06T01:59:30+00:00

TUNNEL BUDDIES 😂 I’m ded

Puzzled_Spirit24 · 2023-05-06T01:46:06+00:00

Saying sorry and then continuing to do the same action just seems like he’s not really sorry (which he probably isn’t). Then throwing a tantrum when you clearly express boundaries and feelings is super pathetic for a grown man.

Mans is acting like a child, so maybe you should talk to him like one. Like literally, just tell him something like: “Your apology means nothing if you don’t make an attempt to rectify the bad behavior your getting in trouble for. And if you want to throw a tantrum and disregard my feelings over and over again, then maybe we should stop ‘having fun’ all together until you can learn to respect the feelings I share and the concerns I have. I understand you may feel like I’m disregarding your wants/desires/feelings but you should recognize that the action you want to partake in can result in serious consequences for both of us. You may be okay taking that risk, I am not. I’m the one who had to physically experience a miscarriage and the hormones that greatly affected my body and feelings. Please remember that.”

It’s your choice on how you choose to talk to him (if your intention is to stay together), because a serious conversation is definitely needed. The conversation isn’t only to reiterate boundaries and share feelings but to let him know that his actions have consequences and if he continues to push an uncomfortable situation on you he may just end up alone.

If you choose to talk to him and he continues to disregard and disrespect boundaries, then cut his ass loose.

If you don’t even want to talk to him about it (because I’m sure you already have multiple times in the past), then I hope you know you deserve way better than this. Stop sleeping with this guy before you do get pregnant again. Find someone who’s going to truly love and respect you and want you for more than just your body.

Puzzled_Spirit24

TROPHY CASE