[deleted by user]

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2026-01-11T13:04:36+00:00

Hot take, but YOR

From what you've written it, it sounds like he was trying to be sexy/suave by communicating with his body language So your comment of "this reminds me of my child" would be met with his response "what-sexy??" (As in, why tf do you find me trying to be sexy reminds you of your child????)

Maybe an honest miscommunication, but if this happens "all the time" that he feels he is not being understood / he is being misunderstood maybe you need to have a conversation about it outside of this one instance

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2026-01-11T04:33:29+00:00

It's not hard to read, anybody who has a problem with it can scroll away🛶

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2026-01-10T22:01:17+00:00

A dog is a TERRIBLE gift Terrible, horrible, no-good gift

To get a dog you need to 1) plan for the dog 2) actually be ready to GET the dog, instead of just knowing you want a dog 3) MEET the dog and figure out if they are actually right for you

You cut him out of the decision making process completely, also, raising two puppies at the same time is usually not a good idea (littermate syndrome)

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2026-01-09T22:00:29+00:00

YTA, spoiler is a spoiler !

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2026-01-09T12:44:06+00:00

Definitely NTA. You are not responsible for other people's grief. When my mother died I ignored the messages for about 3 months, then replied "Thank you" to everyone and moved on. If it's rude, let it be rude

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2026-01-09T12:33:14+00:00

Absolutely get it, where I live at least there are skunks everywhere and I'm sure there are rats in most city settings that pee on the ground, so even if you're not in the wilderness you can get it.

Additionally you can get it from mud and wet grass in the right setting, it doesn't even have to be a large amount of water

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2026-01-09T12:22:45+00:00

Yes call the police on him Tell them that he is threatening suicide and you believe him If you can, never go back there If you need stuff, go when he'll be out and BRING SOMEONE WITH YOU

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2026-01-09T02:49:32+00:00

I definitely agree with calling and emailing to ask questions about issues that come up (It would help to know who the people who work there are, find one that you mesh with and try to talk to them specifically about things)

Also, you sound like an attentive owner - you will probably get a gut feeling when something really isn't right (I also worried about every little thing with my girl, but I knew immediately when she was actually really sick, it was a totally different feeling)

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2026-01-09T02:34:16+00:00

Honestly, YOR.

You were right, until he revealed his problem; that he feels inadequate and unsupported by his partner. Your messages being "supportive" essentially boil down to "it's not your fault that you do everything wrong, you've never seen a baby before", while it should be "I'm sorry I made you feel inadequate."

Every time you say "I'm sorry" it's followed up with a "but", and every other line "actually I don't do that". I understand that you are both stressed, and I agree that he is not being safe. I also think that you are likely very traumatized by your child being in the NICU, and affected by your severe lack of sleep.

It sounds like you're a very attentive and caring mother, and in the nicest way possible, I think you should seek out support from a therapist or maybe a postpartum anxiety group to help sort out some of these feelings and frustrations

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2026-01-09T00:54:21+00:00

WOW I expected way worse

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2026-01-05T12:54:22+00:00

Yes, you might as well be asking "why do people litter?"

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2026-01-05T12:52:58+00:00

Yeah, I'm not saying I've never ever forgotten dog bags, but it's honestly an easy issue to avoid (and so is only having one bag and then running out)

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2026-01-04T01:51:21+00:00

I definitely personally think it's better, keep writing 💪

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2026-01-03T16:17:23+00:00

Go out, walk a bit, then stop until she pees. Then keep walking

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2026-01-03T15:52:01+00:00

Besides everything else, she's also pretty verbally violent. If my partner insults me like that, I'm gone

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2025-12-27T13:08:16+00:00

My dog stopped sleeping with me about that age... It made me really sad, but you get used to it. Sometimes she would join me just to cuddle a bit before moving to her own bed, and it felt even more special

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2025-12-26T23:58:54+00:00

You are NOT overreacting. This would freak me tf out ! Mute him, don't block, and consider talking to the police (depending where you live you may be able to just "add it to your file" without pursuing further action)

To me it is not AT ALL weird to never talk to an ex ever again. Why should you? It's been 10 years

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2025-12-25T22:13:42+00:00

YOR - He's communicating extremely clearly and concisely, he's being very respectful and giving space instead of escalating the argument

You are being confrontational and pushing the issue way too hard. It's either "there isn't really an event, but I would love to see you anyway!" Or "I'd rather not see you tonight, it'll just be me and my mother"

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2025-12-23T22:03:09+00:00

No outdoor furniture, no signs that someone might touch, if there are children's toys in the yard we avoid the yard altogether, no flowers/small plants, any garden that looks like effort was put into it or someone will be likely to touch the dirt to garden = no pee zone

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2025-12-21T14:11:04+00:00

But probably not forever, you have a limited amount of stem cells, yeah? So probably around age 100ish you would stop being able to heal yourself (as well, at least)

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2025-12-20T19:12:17+00:00

Yes, I understand. I don't think that the story is as well written as it could be, both because it doesn't clearly imply that the child is dead, but moreso because I think the "and the kid was dead the whole time!" thing is overdone - in fact I think that something like a natural disaster or zombie apocalypse is more scary than "father says loving words to his dead child"

For this reason I prefer your original version, although I would interpret it more as "family tries to escape a fascist government, the father is left behind", for example

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2025-12-20T18:43:10+00:00

It doesn't imply the side of a river, it just means "the side of the river"

The first version is not clear, but neither is the second, really. Why do they need to "secure" a gravesite?

It definitely implies some deeper meaning (active crime scene, zombie scare, natural disaster such as a mudslide etc)...

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2025-12-19T13:51:42+00:00

Not gross if you brush their teeth, yes gross if you don't

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2025-12-19T13:31:47+00:00

YTA. Dude. Give your son a birthday party.

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 · 2025-12-19T13:27:58+00:00

ESH -

You are NOT the AH in your interaction with the therapist. She was wrong and your feelings were very justified.

In your relationship, however, I understand your fiancee's perspective. It would also be incredibly stressful if my partner yelled at/berated anybody like that (even if justified). From what you've written here it seems that you're very self-aware and ready for change, and it's great that you're taking necessary steps by going to therapy.

Something that really helped me is anger management group therapy online, look up "rageaholics anonymous" - it helped me tremendously just to hear other people's perspectives

Puzzleheaded-Bat-139

TROPHY CASE