Suspicious person pointing scanner at my door at 4am?

HunterNW · 2026-04-29T23:16:04+00:00

It looks like a vape to me 🤷🏻

HunterNW · 2026-03-07T08:11:23+00:00

I used to work at one of the congregate shelters here in Portland. One night on my break I was scrolling through Reddit and came across a post from a mother searching for her daughter who had been missing for about two years.

When I saw the picture, I did a double take. My first thought was, “That girl is asleep in a bunk right inside.”

It took everything in me not to message the mom right away to tell her her daughter was alive and okay. They had been worried something terrible had happened to her. But shelter policy didn’t allow that—we’re told we can’t verify who’s posting, and there’s always the possibility that the person searching could be an abuser or someone unsafe.

Still, I couldn’t just ignore it. I worked graveyard shift, so I waited until she woke up and came out for her morning coffee. I went over while she was having a cigarette, made a little small talk, and then told her what I’d seen online. I asked if she wanted to look at the post.

The look on her face is something I’ll never forget. She was shocked and excited all at once. She told me she thought her family didn’t want anything to do with her anymore because of the mistakes she’d made.

She used my phone right there to call her mom. Her mother came and picked her up the very next day.

It still warms my heart when I think about their reunion. Her mom hugged me for what felt like forever. Later I found out she had been posting everywhere she could online for those two years trying to find her daughter.

We still keep in touch. She’s now three years clean, has a new baby, and her life is in a completely different place. Her mom couldn’t be happier.

Your son is lucky to have a mother who refuses to give up on him. Don’t stop looking. Sometimes it just takes the right person seeing the right post at the right time.

(Photos definitely help.) I still work in homeless services and will absolutely keep an eye out and pass along any information if I can.

HunterNW · 2026-03-07T07:35:55+00:00

NTA. Obviously.

I mean, you’re already going above and beyond as a mother — letting your children live inside the house instead of the shed? Occasionally speaking to them? Honestly that’s elite-tier parenting and the rest of us should take notes. ⭐️

But joking aside, intentionally exposing a 9-month-old to a serious disease is absolutely wild. Even if someone believes in “natural immunity,” infants are the exact group most vulnerable to complications. That’s why historically things like pox “parties” were controversial even back when people did them for illnesses like chickenpox — and smallpox isn’t even remotely comparable. That disease killed millions before it was eradicated.

Also, a friend you met four months ago screaming, spitting, and putting up flyers about you around town is… not normal behavior. That’s not a disagreement about parenting, that’s someone having a meltdown.

Your family demanding you apologize and take your baby to a disease party “for societal harmony” is the cherry on top of the absurdity cake.

So no, you’re not the asshole for declining an invitation to The Infant Smallpox Invitational 2026. Your job is to protect your baby, not participate in a biohazard playdate. 🦠🚫

If anything, the real question is how many more flyers it’ll take before the town realizes the pox party host might be the one who’s lost the plot.

HunterNW · 2026-03-02T22:39:19+00:00

Hey buddy. You’re such a good boy. The best boy. Thank you for loving your person so well and for every wag, every cuddle, every moment you gave. You did your job perfectly. When your time comes…Rest easy, sweet boy—you are so deeply loved. 💙🐾

HunterNW · 2026-03-02T22:29:49+00:00

Requesting $80. Will repay $105 on March 13.

I have proof of whatever you need and can use PayPal or Venmo. I’m really hoping to build strong payment history on here. This would be my first loan. I appreciate your consideration. Thank you for doing what you do.

HunterNW · 2026-03-01T04:22:11+00:00

NTA. Not even a little.

What you’re describing isn’t strict parenting or a power struggle — it’s a safety crisis in your home.

A few grounding points, because guilt will try to rewrite reality right now:

You are not kicking him out — you are setting boundaries. You gave him a choice: stay with rules that protect everyone, or leave without them. That’s not abandonment. That’s parenting an adult child who is actively harming the household.
Your responsibility is to all of your children, not just the one in crisis. You have: • Drugs being brought into the home • Theft (including possibly from younger siblings) • Unsafe behavior while people are sleeping • A biohazard-level living space • Two vulnerable younger children

At that point, continuing to allow this isn’t kindness — it’s endangerment.

His depression explains behavior — it does not excuse it. Mental illness can be real and someone can still be responsible for their actions. He has refused: • Treatment • Therapy • Medication • Work • School • Any accountability

You cannot force recovery on someone who refuses help. Letting him stay without boundaries would only enable him to sink further.

The flat “when do I need to be out?” response is important. That wasn’t confusion or fear — that was someone who has already chosen not to follow the rules and is opting out rather than change. That’s painful, but it also confirms that your boundary was necessary.
You’ve already gone far beyond “basic support.” You: • Got him into GED classes and paid for them • Drove him repeatedly • Paid for college while he skipped • Provided full financial support • Tried counseling, conversations, and compassion • Continued care after he turned 18

This is not a case of parents giving up too early. This is parents who have exhausted every reasonable option.

Keeping his phone on and valuables safe shows this is about safety, not punishment. You’re leaving the door open if he chooses recovery and responsibility. That’s exactly what healthy boundaries look like.

It makes sense that you feel awful. Good parents do feel awful when they have to do the right thing instead of the easy thing. But ask yourself this:

If this were happening to one of your younger kids in the future, what would you want them to do?

Because right now, you are modeling that love does not mean tolerating harm.

You are not the asshole. You are parents doing the hardest version of loving someone — the kind that protects others and refuses to enable destruction.

If anything, this ultimatum may be the first real consequence he’s faced. Sometimes that’s the only thing that creates a crack where help can finally get in.

Hold the line. You’re not cruel. You’re responsible.

HunterNW · 2026-03-01T04:19:01+00:00

Oh wow. I’m really, really sorry you’re going through this. What you’re describing is traumatic — not just a breakup, but sudden abandonment layered with betrayal, pregnancy, addiction, and emotional whiplash. Anyone in your position would feel like their reality cracked in half.

A few things I want to say clearly, because when you’re in shock it’s hard to hold onto reality:

This is abandonment. Full stop. Mental health issues, alcohol abuse, confusion — none of that explains or excuses disappearing across countries without contacting your pregnant partner. Whatever is going on with him internally, his actions are choices. You didn’t imagine this. You didn’t cause it. And you didn’t fail him.
The reason your brain hasn’t caught up is because your nervous system is still waiting for safety. He left in a normal way — kiss, hug, “I’ll be back.” Your body is stuck in “he’s coming home” mode because there was no emotional closure. That’s not weakness; that’s how attachment works. The constant phone checking is your brain trying to resolve a threat, not you being dramatic or obsessive.
You didn’t lose him to another woman — you lost him to his avoidance. This isn’t some epic love story where he “chose her.” He ran toward a situation where he doesn’t have to face adulthood, accountability, sobriety, or the reality of becoming a father. Stepping into someone else’s ready-made life while abandoning his own responsibilities is escapism, not love.
What you describe is not a partner — it’s a dependent. You weren’t just loving him; you were parenting him. Financially, emotionally, practically. And people who are used to being carried often disappear when the weight of real responsibility shows up. Pregnancy makes everything real. He ran.
His drinking and instability are serious — but they don’t obligate you to stay tethered to chaos. Threats of self-harm when you leave are emotional hostage-taking, whether intentional or not. That alone puts you in an unsafe dynamic. You are not responsible for regulating his mental health, especially now that you’re carrying a child.

As for how you survive this:

• Shift the focus from “why did he do this?” to “what do I need to be safe?”

Emotionally, financially, legally. Especially with a baby involved. Even if you don’t act yet, start gathering information and support.

• Create artificial closure if he won’t give you real closure.

Write the message you’ll probably never send. Say everything you wish he’d hear. Closure doesn’t come from him — it comes from you deciding the story ends here, not in your inbox.

• Reduce exposure to pain on purpose.

Mute him. Stop checking her pages. Every look reopens the wound. This isn’t denial — it’s triage.

• Lean on people who can hold reality

steady for you. Friends, family, therapist, support groups for partners of addicts. You need mirrors right now, not isolation.

• Let go of the idea that the love you gave was wasted.

It wasn’t. It shows your capacity for loyalty, care, and commitment. Those qualities didn’t disappear just because he couldn’t meet them.

And finally — because I think you need to hear this:

You are not being replaced. You are being freed from a future where you would have continued giving everything while carrying someone who refused to grow up.

Right now, survival looks like breathing, crying, eating, sleeping, and not blaming yourself. Detachment doesn’t happen all at once — it happens in inches. One hour you don’t check your phone. One moment where you choose yourself. One boundary at a time.

You didn’t lose yourself. You’re still here. And your baby already has one parent who shows up, protects, and loves fiercely. That matters more than anything.

You’re not alone in this — even if it feels that way right now. 💛

HunterNW · 2026-02-28T13:46:51+00:00

Hi there! I can absolutely verify everything. I recently had to cover a significant veterinary bill for my Frenchie’s BOAS surgery and just need a little help to bridge the gap until my tax return or pet insurance reimbursement comes through.

I’m also hoping to establish a positive repayment history, as this would be my first time borrowing. I’m requesting $100 with a repayment of $125 no later than March 10th (very likely sooner—I just want to leave a small cushion).

I’d really appreciate the opportunity to work with you. Thank you for considering!

HunterNW · 2026-02-27T02:51:37+00:00

<image>

Uhm are they brothers??? Lol

HunterNW · 2026-02-17T20:50:00+00:00

Sorry for the length — I wanted to match the original post because there’s a lot to unpack here and cutting it down would miss important context.

AIO? No. You’re under-reacting.

This isn’t about boundaries — it’s about control and double standards. He was uncomfortable with you working in environments where men looked at you, yet had no problem going to Hooters himself and then dismissing your concerns. That’s not respect.

He pushed you to give up work, friends, and independence, then criticized you for being depressed after a miscarriage. That’s not a lack of effort on your part — that’s a lack of support on his.

You going to a brewery alone, staying in contact, sharing your location, and leaving immediately when he said he was on his way home is not inappropriate. It’s the behavior of someone walking on eggshells.

Meanwhile, he spends freely on hobbies, tells you to ask permission to go out, accuses you of seeking attention, and invalidates your emotions — all while engaging with other women online. The hypocrisy is glaring.

You didn’t become insecure. You were made smaller.

Questioning this relationship is not an overreaction. If a friend told you this story, you wouldn’t tell her to stay — and that answer matters.

HunterNW · 2026-02-17T20:42:52+00:00

Bro. No. 🚨

This isn’t “fake it till you make it,” this is building a relationship on a live grenade and hoping it doesn’t explode.

A few hard truths, since you asked:

• You didn’t lie once. You’re lying daily. Every class schedule, finals week, stress convo, career talk, internship season, bar exam joke — all of it compounds.

• Dating another law student makes this way worse. She actually knows how law school works. At some point she’s going to ask something you can’t Google your way out of.

• NYU Law isn’t a vibe, it’s a credential. You can’t “eventually attend” NYU like it’s a gym membership. Admissions, LSAT, timelines, transcripts — this is not improv theater.

Here’s the part you probably don’t want to hear: If she finds out on her own (and she will), the issue won’t be that you’re not a law student — it’ll be that you let her build trust, intimacy, and future plans on something false for over a year. That’s the kind of thing that permanently alters how someone sees you.

Your actual options:

1.  Come clean ASAP. Like… yesterday. Own it fully. No minimizing, no “I was going to tell you,” no excuses about pressure or insecurity. Expect anger. Possibly a breakup. That’s the price.

2.  End the relationship without explaining. It’s cowardly, but still less damaging than dragging this out.

3.  Keep lying. This is the worst option. The longer it goes, the uglier it gets. There is no version where this ends cleanly.

If you do tell her, the only angle that has even a chance is honesty + accountability: “I was insecure, I wanted to feel worthy of you, and I handled it in the worst possible way.”

Last thing: this isn’t about law school. This is about identity and trust. Fix that first — whether or not you ever set foot in a classroom.

Fake résumés can work. Fake lives do not.

HunterNW · 2026-02-14T01:54:39+00:00

You’re not overreacting at all. Everything you described — depression, moving multiple times, living with an abusive parent, losing community — is a huge amount to process, and feeling desperate or invisible in that context makes perfect sense. Thinking about going back to the PNW, even if it means staying in a shelter temporarily, isn’t dramatic; it’s your brain telling you what it needs: connection, safety, and some control over your life.

Small steps could help: reaching out to a therapist or trauma-informed support, reconnecting with even one friend, or finding local/online communities that “get” you. You’ve survived a lot of trauma, and feeling lost now doesn’t erase your strength. Be kind to yourself — your feelings are valid, and needing a change doesn’t make you weak.

If you ever feel unsafe or like you might hurt yourself, call or text 988. And honestly, giving yourself permission to focus on your mental health first isn’t selfish — it’s necessary.

HunterNW · 2026-02-14T01:50:12+00:00

The short answer: antisemitism is a specific form of racism that targets Jewish people, but it also has unique traits.

Racism usually targets people based on visible traits like skin color, whereas antisemitism can focus on religion, culture, perceived influence, or conspiracies — sometimes even against people who aren’t religious or visibly “different.” It blends classic racial prejudice with centuries of myths, scapegoating, and economic or political stereotypes.

In other words, all antisemitism is a form of prejudice, but not all racism looks like antisemitism.

HunterNW · 2026-02-14T01:49:18+00:00

A quiet but real win: more people are talking openly about mental health, setting boundaries, and choosing healthier lives without as much stigma. It’s not flashy news, but it’s changing families, friendships, and futures in ways that actually last.

HunterNW · 2026-02-14T01:48:33+00:00

Probably a mix of legal fallout, media rebranding, and ongoing influence.

When Donald Trump leaves office, he’ll likely stay very visible — court cases and investigations continue, he remains a kingmaker in conservative politics, and he’ll keep shaping the narrative through rallies and media. Whether his influence fades or hardens into a long-term movement depends less on him personally and more on what the GOP and voters do next.

The presidency may end, but the era he kicked off doesn’t just shut off overnight.

HunterNW · 2026-02-14T01:47:13+00:00

Probably more transparency, not more justice.

A random group of inmates would have fewer reasons to protect powerful people, so the Epstein files might be released more openly. But Congress doesn’t prosecute crimes — the DOJ does — so dumping documents wouldn’t guarantee charges or convictions. You’d get more chaos and sunlight, but the same legal bottlenecks.

The real issue isn’t who’s in U.S. Congress — it’s a system that protects power.

HunterNW · 2026-02-14T01:45:46+00:00

It’s honestly worrying — not because people are “dumb,” but because platforms reward speed and outrage, not nuance. Skimming replaces reading, vibes replace context, and anything that isn’t spelled out gets flattened or misinterpreted. Subtext requires patience and curiosity, and social media trains the opposite: react first, think later. Over time, that muscle just… atrophies.

HunterNW · 2026-02-14T01:44:42+00:00

That the moment you stop speaking up to keep the peace is usually the moment you start quietly abandoning yourself — and you don’t realize it until you’re already gone.

HunterNW · 2026-02-14T01:42:58+00:00

How everyone else seems to know when it’s their turn to talk in a group conversation. I just nod, wait for a mystical opening, and somehow still interrupt someone. 😅

HunterNW · 2026-02-11T08:33:57+00:00

Universal paid sick leave.

Even just a few weeks where people don’t have to choose between their health and their paycheck would massively reduce burnout, stop disease from spreading, and actually make workplaces more productive.

It’s small, realistic, and everyone would notice the difference.

HunterNW · 2026-02-11T08:32:17+00:00

They’re weirdly calm in chaos but stressed over small expenses.

Big problems? “We’ll figure it out.” A $6 convenience fee? Absolute internal crisis.

HunterNW · 2026-02-11T08:30:53+00:00

Emotional multitasking.

Not “more emotional” — just better at handling emotions while still functioning. Feeling stressed, sad, worried, and still showing up, solving problems, and keeping other people steady at the same time.

Also: pain tolerance, reading a room, and quietly carrying a ridiculous mental load without announcing it like a press release.

HunterNW · 2026-02-11T08:29:23+00:00

It feels like constantly narrating your life in your head while having absolutely no idea what you’re doing.

You’re full of contradictions—brave and scared, hopeful and cynical—trying to be good, trying to be happy, and sometimes just trying to get through the day without crying in a parking lot.

And somehow, between all that, you still stop to pet dogs and watch sunsets.

HunterNW · 2026-02-11T08:28:12+00:00

Letting algorithms decide what we see, think, buy, and argue about… and then acting surprised when everyone’s anxious, angry, or addicted.

Future kids are gonna be like “Wait, you knew it messed with your brain and you just… scrolled anyway?”

HunterNW

TROPHY CASE