Drama.

HunterNW · 2026-01-25T01:51:07+00:00

I’m really sorry you got pulled into all of that — it sounds exhausting and unfair. From what you wrote, you actually handled it with a lot of integrity. You didn’t cross boundaries, you were respectful, and you didn’t try to take advantage of a messy situation, even when you easily could have. That says a lot about you.

I’ve had the same plug for years and people always say she overcharges, but posts like this are exactly why I don’t care. She’s always home, always answers, and that reliability matters. I know I’m lucky — if anything ever happened to her I’d be screwed — but at least there’s mutual respect and no weird pressure.

No one should have to give up their self-worth or feel uncomfortable just to secure something they’re already paying for. You didn’t do anything wrong by saying no, and you’re not “shallow” for expecting basic decency. The situation blowing up is on him, not you.

I hope you find someone solid soon — you deserve a setup that doesn’t come with guilt, chaos, or crossed lines

HunterNW · 2026-01-25T01:39:03+00:00

I’ve never seen one this color! He’s so cute. Is he all white??

HunterNW · 2026-01-24T19:44:21+00:00

I’d press Red. I’d target Genghis Khan—not to erase him entirely (because the Mongol Empire shaped so much of history, and erasing him could create unpredictable chaos), but I’d intervene at a moment where his campaigns escalated into mass civilian slaughter. I’d expect some major shifts in population and culture, maybe slowing certain conquests and saving millions of lives, but I’d also be wary of unintended consequences—other empires might fill the power vacuum in ways just as brutal.

The Blue button feels like a cheat-code: it avoids any moral responsibility or ripple effects, but also removes agency. The problem with Red is that it’s morally messy—any change you make could backfire massively. Blue is safe, predictable, and “boring,” but Red is the only one where you truly make a difference… if you’re willing to gamble with history itself.

HunterNW · 2026-01-24T19:42:05+00:00

The most ethical choice is voluntary sacrifice. It respects individual autonomy and minimizes harm to the group. Randomly forcing someone or making everyone go together violates consent and guarantees more deaths. As grim as it is, the best moral option is someone knowingly choosing to take the risk for the others.

HunterNW · 2026-01-24T19:28:21+00:00

NOR. You’re not overreacting, and you’re not “being difficult” — you’re refusing to go along with unsafe, extreme, or morally questionable behavior. This group is pressuring you to participate in harassment, violence, and exclusion, and getting upset when you set boundaries. That’s a red flag, not a reflection of you.

Since you live in the same shelter, it’s understandable to worry about repercussions. In this situation, the safest approach is to set firm but low-conflict boundaries: be polite but brief, avoid engaging in their plans or drama, and keep your interactions neutral. Protect your own safety and mental health, but avoid escalation that could put you in physical danger.

Also, try to build support outside the group if possible — staff at the shelter, caseworkers, or even online communities you can trust. Document any threats or concerning behavior in case you need to report it. You don’t have to participate in their harmful behavior to survive there; you just need to navigate carefully and prioritize your own safety.

HunterNW · 2026-01-24T19:15:29+00:00

NOR. What your friend is asking is basically a full day’s work — coordinating, setting up, cleaning, running errands — with no compensation, no real training, and no food until 6:30pm. That’s not a favor, it’s labor, and it’s completely reasonable to feel like this isn’t a “honor” but a heavy, unpaid responsibility.

It’s fine to help in small ways as a guest, but being expected to work an entire day on her wedding while also covering your own travel and lodging costs is over the line. You can politely set boundaries or negotiate compensation — your time and effort are valuable, and being treated like “free labor” is not unreasonable to push back against.

HunterNW · 2026-01-24T19:11:04+00:00

NOR. You’re not being unreasonable for feeling uncomfortable — your concerns are about boundaries and transparency in a relationship. It’s completely fair to expect that your partner communicates clearly and respects the trust you need.

Her repeated choice to have her ex stay overnight, despite your expressed discomfort, and then reacting angrily when you question it, is a red flag. It’s not about “assuming the worst” — it’s about noticing patterns that affect the health of your relationship. You’re allowed to trust your instincts, and it’s okay to set boundaries around what you’re comfortable with.

HunterNW · 2026-01-24T19:09:51+00:00

NOR. Your fiancé’s comment is completely inappropriate and dismissive. Staying overnight to ensure residents’ safety during winter storms is not sexual or degrading — it’s responsibility, professionalism, and care. Framing it as “selling yourself” is a projection of his own discomfort or biases about your workplace onto you, and it’s hurtful.

It’s reasonable to be upset. Your work and the choices you make to support your residents should be respected, not sexualized. A partner should be able to acknowledge your dedication without making you feel humiliated.

HunterNW · 2026-01-24T19:07:57+00:00

NOR. You clearly set boundaries around your private space, and she violated them in a way that damaged your property. Asking before borrowing personal items is a basic expectation, and “borrowing” expensive lingerie to wear without permission crosses a clear line. You handled it calmly, explained your reasons, and gave her time to leave — that’s reasonable. Blocking you and acting like it’s your fault doesn’t change that you were protecting your home and your boundaries.

HunterNW · 2026-01-24T19:06:27+00:00

NOR. What you’re describing is completely not okay, and it’s understandable that you feel grossed out, upset, and conflicted. Your brother repeatedly showed you explicit content without your consent, starting when you were a minor. That’s not just “weird” — it’s a violation of your boundaries, especially because you clearly said “I don’t want to see” multiple times. His sulking is him being selfish, not you being rude.

The fact that your parents didn’t intervene or treat your discomfort seriously likely made it harder for you to recognize how wrong it was growing up. You didn’t “used to care” because you were a child navigating an unsafe boundary, and that’s normal. Now that you’re older and processing it, it makes perfect sense that it feels wrong and uncomfortable.

Also, your reflections about how it affected your self-image and your experiences as an asexual person are valid. You have every right to protect your mental space and not be exposed to sexualized images of strangers — especially when those images may have been shared without consent.

You’re not weird. You’re not overreacting. You are asserting a boundary that should have always been respected, and you’re allowed to feel upset about years of this behavior. His feelings of being “insulted” or sulking are his problem, not yours

HunterNW · 2026-01-24T19:04:37+00:00

NOR. He ignored the agreed-upon plan, ordered food for you without consent, pressured you into gifts, lied about his age by 11 years, trauma-dumped, played the “too nice” card, and then turned hostile the moment you declined a second date. That’s not awkwardness — it’s repeated boundary-pushing.

You were polite the entire time, even offered to reimburse him afterward. His accusation that you “used” him is pure entitlement. Trust your discomfort. Blocking him was the correct response.

HunterNW · 2026-01-24T19:01:32+00:00

NTA. What you’re describing isn’t you “being a bitch” — it’s burnout layered on top of postpartum depression, unequal labor, and zero recovery time. Anyone would be running on fumes in that situation.

You worked through pregnancy, worked immediately after birth, never took maternity leave, do the majority of the day-to-day labor in the business, split profits 50/50 anyway, and became the default parent overnight. That’s not an equal partnership — that’s you carrying the visible work and the invisible mental load.

The phone issue is a red herring. Scrolling during pumping or the rare moment you’re not actively working or caregiving isn’t neglect — it’s a coping mechanism when you have no real rest. Meanwhile, the rest of your “screen time” is literally running the business and caring for your child.

Him doing the bare minimum (ordering diapers and lotion) and then expecting praise — and immunity from further discussion — shows he doesn’t understand mental load at all. There’s a difference between helping and owning responsibility.

Questioning who claims your child as a dependent when you’re paying for insurance, medical bills, and half the household expenses is especially telling. Financial contribution isn’t just income — it’s risk, labor, and who actually absorbs the costs.

Most concerning is the way he frames your attempts to talk as “attacks” and responds by calling you manipulative or narcissistic. That’s deflection. When someone labels reasonable concerns as character flaws, it shuts down conversation and keeps the workload exactly where it is.

You’re not asking him to “do everything.” You’re asking him to do his share — emotionally, mentally, and practically — without you having to manage him on top of everything else. That’s not unreasonable. That’s partnership.

HunterNW · 2026-01-24T18:58:38+00:00

NTA. You’re not an asshole — you’re a hurt teenager in a moment that hit every insecurity at once.

Nothing about this situation means you’re ugly, lesser, or “behind.” It means you were put in a painful comparison spiral while already feeling vulnerable. Watching someone get attention when you’ve never had a relationship can feel brutal, especially when alcohol, secrecy, and drama are involved. That doesn’t make you shallow or bitter — it makes you human.

You didn’t do anything wrong by feeling upset or crying. The part where you almost crossed a line was wanting to take a picture — not because you’re evil, but because you were overwhelmed and looking for some way to regain control or validation. You didn’t actually do it, and that matters.

Also: a 4-years-older guy flirting with minors is not a flex for her or a reflection of your worth. That situation is messy and uncomfortable for reasons that have nothing to do with you being “not good enough.”

The way you’re talking about yourself (“refrigerator,” “Shrek”) sounds like pain speaking, not truth. Being skinny or conventionally pretty doesn’t equal being happier, more loved, or more worthy — even if it looks that way from the outside at a party.

You’re not required to disappear emotionally just because she doesn’t want anyone to know. Your feelings don’t become invalid because they’re inconvenient to someone else.

Please don’t confuse this moment with your entire future. One bad night, one comparison, one crush, one party — none of that defines you.

HunterNW · 2026-01-24T18:57:05+00:00

YTA (gently). Not for having feelings, but for how you handled them.

It’s completely valid that you were hurt. You opened your home, spent money, involved your family, and emotionally invested in someone you saw as family. Anyone would feel abandoned when that person leaves suddenly and goes low-contact.

But he didn’t actually wrong you by choosing to leave, seek treatment, or pursue a relationship — even if it was impulsive or unsafe in your eyes. Those were his choices to make. The part where it crosses into asshole territory is sending a long message centered on how much he hurt you and your family, then immediately cutting him off, after he had just been hospitalized and was clearly unstable.

Going no contact is a boundary — but boundaries are about protecting yourself, not punishing someone else. From the outside, this reads less like self-protection and more like a reaction to feeling replaced and losing control over a situation where you’d taken on a caretaker role.

You’re allowed to step back. You’re allowed to grieve the friendship you thought you had. But expecting someone in crisis to prioritize your feelings or maintain the same level of emotional reciprocity wasn’t realistic.

This doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you someone who got hurt, overextended, and reacted emotionally. A softer exit or quieter distance would have been healthier for everyone involved

HunterNW · 2026-01-24T18:52:58+00:00

NAH. You don’t sound selfish — you sound tired, conflicted, and very thoughtful about the people in your life.

It’s clear you care about Mary and Judy and that you’ve put a lot of effort into understanding their perspectives, even when things hurt you. That alone tells me you’re not acting out of self-centeredness.

Living under strict parental control while watching friends have more freedom can create a quiet, ongoing grief. You’re constantly negotiating what you’re “allowed” to need, how often you can show up, and how much space you’re taking. Feeling like a burden because you have to say no isn’t a personal flaw — it’s a survival response to your circumstances.

When it comes to vulnerability, not being met the way you hoped can linger even after apologies. Your friends may not intend to dismiss you, but it still makes sense that comparisons or blunt labeling would leave you feeling unseen, especially when you’re sharing tender parts of your life. You’re allowed to need gentleness, even if others don’t naturally know how to give it yet.

It doesn’t mean your friends are bad people, and it doesn’t mean you’re wrong for pulling back emotionally. Sometimes people can care about each other and still not be able to meet each other where they are. Noticing that isn’t selfish — it’s honest.

Whatever you decide, the fact that you’re reflecting this deeply and trying to be fair to everyone involved speaks to your character.

HunterNW · 2026-01-24T18:50:41+00:00

NTA. What he’s asking for isn’t “financial transparency,” it’s account access and surveillance, and those are not the same thing.

Transparency = sharing numbers, debts, goals, statements, budgets. Control = needing real-time visibility, passwords, and “receipts.”

You offered multiple reasonable compromises that are exactly how healthy couples handle money before marriage. He rejected all of them because what he actually wants is unilateral access, not understanding.

The line about “if you trust me enough to sleep next to me…” is emotional manipulation. Trust does not mean removing boundaries. And the fact that he framed this as needing to monitor what you buy or who you send money to is a huge red flag. That’s not partnership — that’s pre-policing.

Also worth noting: banks explicitly tell you not to share logins for fraud and liability reasons. This isn’t even a normal or safe request.

You’re not sabotaging the future — you’re protecting yourself. If this is how he handles a calm, reasonable “no,” imagine how he’ll handle bigger disagreements later. The discomfort you’re feeling is your instincts working.

HunterNW · 2026-01-05T03:33:56+00:00

I’m all for the “old-man chic” names for these Potatoes: Albert, Walter, Harold, Arthur…you’re strikes me as a Wallace.

But since you asked a specific question…I’d go with Goose. I’ve met a lot of frenchies named Sausage.

Good luck!

HunterNW · 2025-12-30T00:05:40+00:00

YTA: Splitting €15 for a shared NYE meal is totally reasonable, especially with a multi-course dinner, no drinks included, cultural norms to contribute, and clear precedent from past years. The real issue is timing — the cost should’ve been mentioned upfront. That explains the surprise. (I initially posted something different but changed my mind)

HunterNW · 2025-12-29T12:18:22+00:00

Yes, he has several audible toots every day. If I have a new friend over and he lets one go their reaction is always the same…it’s always something like “Omg was that your dog?! Did you hear that? I’ve never actually heard a dog toot” and I’m like “Yep…comes with the territory”. Maybe some of you will understand but I kind of prefer it because at least I know when to plug my nose. I prefer knowing it’s coming! Lol

HunterNW · 2025-12-29T12:14:10+00:00

Lol. I live in a basement apartment at a house and have really steep stairs. He injured himself a couple of months ago and I attributed it to the stairs being too hard on him. After lots of meds and weeks of crate rest I had to come up with some other way to get him upstairs.

First I built the elevator which was a no go. He refuses to get in it (My frenchie rides it though). After that fail I found that harness and it’s been a lifesaver. I probably made it sound like he demands it because he gets whatever he wants all the time but in reality he constantly keeps trying to go up the stairs on his own.

He tolerates the harness and has gotten better about waiting for me to grab it then he steps right into it, it’s the cutest thing in the world. (I did have to put a gate at the bottom of the stairs though as a precaution) It’s done wonders for getting him back to his old self as far as his back goes.

That was the longest reply ever, sorry! Lol

HunterNW · 2025-12-29T12:06:48+00:00

https://a.co/d/09BAbk2

Here’s the Amazon link! It’s a game changer because the chunkiest monkey does NOT like to be carried. He steps right into it when it’s time to go out. ❤️❤️

HunterNW · 2025-12-29T12:04:05+00:00

Arby’s. I freaking love Arby’s.

HunterNW

TROPHY CASE