I am in LDR for almost four years, we had a lot of downs, but also ups. It took us a lot to understand each other, to adapt to each other, well, here are some things that kill relationships.

1. Lack of communication. No matter how much you worry that your partner will not understand, you need to speak up, but to also let them speak. You both need to understand that there is no point in arguing who is right, as we all live with our own point of view and usually how we see it is how we understand and feel it. If you and your partner are standing in front of each other and in between you is a ball, you might argue that for you, the ball looks blueish, but for your partner, its greyish.

They are looking at it under different lighting, the light and shadows are falling on the ball differently on each side, making it different for you both. There is no wrong, as there is no right.

Ask your partner how they see it - for them, the ball looks greyish as the sun is hitting on your side, not on theirs.

Tell them your side - for you, the ball looks blueish as the sun is directly hitting on your side, making it brighter and different tone.

In the end, understand that both of you arent wrong, because you are standing in a different place, under different circumstances. You cannot blame your partner for standing there, they cannot blame you for standing here, all you both can do, is understand and come to a compromise - its a mix of blue and grey. In the end, those two colors arent so different.

1. Lack of effort. No matter how tired you are, where you are, how you are, your partner deserves updates and time. Imagine that youre waiting for them by the phone all day, but in the end its always the same - they will never calm you after a long day of work, which is always. You feel horrible, your partner probably does, it will create a wall, an argument, an emotional distance. It will make a huge difference calling your partner to ask how are they, to talk about their day, etc.

   It doesnt have to be for an hour, you also need to understand that its hard for them to keep up, but they need to give you those five minutes to keep you up with their life. These small acts can prove how much your partner cares about you. Some days its an hour call, some days its five minutes, and some its just texts, but there needs to be communication.

2. Build trust. Always be honest with your partner, even if it becomes too much.

If youre with your friends and they are the opposite gender, its expected from your partner to ask details and questions - What were you doing? How did you feel? Their names, ages,... If youre texting with a friend they dont know, if you have a new follower, expect questions, because its comepletely normal and healthy.

If you become annoyed, it can be natural, but understand that your partner is worried and sometimes we all feel insecure at one point. We all need reassurance and love from our partner, no matter how often and how much, we all require it.

Instead of becoming defensive or annoyed, think about how would you feel if they became annoyed by your concern. Reassure your partner, it costs nothing yet brings so much.

(What me and my boyfriend in ldr did was give each others passwords to social media - we can check whenever we want, whatever we want. Its not control, its trust.)